MD M1 probation - debating on quitting

[lilbbycupcake]

I'm a M1 at a mid-to-low tier Midwest school, originally from CA. As a non-trad, I struggle with how to study, and combined with medical (mental health and learning disability) issues that persist, have not been doing well in my classes. Out of the 9 preclinical courses we've had so far, I successfully remediated 2, and will have to remediate 3 more.

Perhaps my judgement is clouded by my failures and poor mental health, but I feel trapped and lost. I'm losing sight of the desire to be a physician. I know my weaknesses lie in standardized testing and memorization as I've never been good at it. Classmates and faculty who know me continually push me to pull through because they tell me that I would make a great doctor due to my communication skills and that come clinicals in 3rd year, they're confident I'll do well and that "things will just click". But I'm scared. I doubt things "get easier" or that "there's a light at the end of the tunnel". Tbh, I don't know what is the smartest thing I should do or if I'm cut out for this path anymore.

I am trying to be realistic and would love some constructive insight on the matter-

1) If I successfully remediate and steadily pass M2, do you think that I would be able to match to a residency in CA (non-competitive specialties)? Despite the probation, abysmal progress in M1, and being in the lowest quartile?

2) Should I cut my losses and withdraw?
At this point, I don't have a strong clue about where I'd start, but I haven't invested much into med school yet so starting over in a completely new career path is not impossible.

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[Chibucks15]

I'm a M1 at a mid-to-low tier Midwest school, originally from CA. As a non-trad, I struggle with how to study, and combined with medical (mental health and learning disability) issues that persist, have not been doing well in my classes. Out of the 9 preclinical courses we've had so far, I successfully remediated 2, and will have to remediate 3 more.

Perhaps my judgement is clouded by my failures and poor mental health, but I feel trapped and lost. I'm losing sight of the desire to be a physician. I know my weaknesses lie in standardized testing and memorization as I've never been good at it. Classmates and faculty who know me continually push me to pull through because they tell me that I would make a great doctor due to my communication skills and that come clinicals in 3rd year, they're confident I'll do well and that "things will just click". But I'm scared. I doubt things "get easier" or that "there's a light at the end of the tunnel". Tbh, I don't know what is the smartest thing I should do or if I'm cut out for this path anymore.

I am trying to be realistic and would love some constructive insight on the matter-

1) If I successfully remediate and steadily pass M2, do you think that I would be able to match to a residency in CA (non-competitive specialties)? Despite the probation, abysmal progress in M1, and being in the lowest quartile?

2) Should I cut my losses and withdraw?
At this point, I don't have a strong clue about where I'd start, but I haven't invested much into med school yet so starting over in a completely new career path is not impossible.

As is always said on here...go to whatever professional you need to in order to get those feelings taken care of. Depression and the like is no joke.

However, "things just clicking" happens after you've memorized the material and are able to apply it. While you may be able to do that, it seems to me like you aren't learning the material the first time, and it wont just magically appear. You've had to re-mediate more than half the classes you've taken so far...which doesn't lend itself to the fact you'll be able to get through next year much less boards in order to make it to clinicals.

Maybe an LOA to get your head in a good place and hone some study skills would do you well. It really is up to you because this is the last "good" time to get out of med school before the debt is too insane. There are other fields to use the communication skills but you need the knowledge base also. Good luck

 

[libertyyne]

I am sorry you are going through this. It sounds like a ****ty place to be at.
1. If you graduate without board failures. there is a high liklihood you will match somewhere. If you are going for IM and FM and dont care where in CA you match i doubt you would have a massive problem matching. That being said there are no guarantees in this life or field.
2. That depends on you , do you want to become a doctor , or not. If you want to become a doctor I would fix what is wrong, if not I would cut my losses and move on.

If you got accepted to an MD school you have the chops to make it through.

 

[ERDOC555]

I'm a M1 at a mid-to-low tier Midwest school, originally from CA. As a non-trad, I struggle with how to study, and combined with medical (mental health and learning disability) issues that persist, have not been doing well in my classes. Out of the 9 preclinical courses we've had so far, I successfully remediated 2, and will have to remediate 3 more.

Perhaps my judgement is clouded by my failures and poor mental health, but I feel trapped and lost. I'm losing sight of the desire to be a physician. I know my weaknesses lie in standardized testing and memorization as I've never been good at it. Classmates and faculty who know me continually push me to pull through because they tell me that I would make a great doctor due to my communication skills and that come clinicals in 3rd year, they're confident I'll do well and that "things will just click". But I'm scared. I doubt things "get easier" or that "there's a light at the end of the tunnel". Tbh, I don't know what is the smartest thing I should do or if I'm cut out for this path anymore.

I am trying to be realistic and would love some constructive insight on the matter-

1) If I successfully remediate and steadily pass M2, do you think that I would be able to match to a residency in CA (non-competitive specialties)? Despite the probation, abysmal progress in M1, and being in the lowest quartile?

2) Should I cut my losses and withdraw?
At this point, I don't have a strong clue about where I'd start, but I haven't invested much into med school yet so starting over in a completely new career path is not impossible.

If you can fundamentally change something about the way you are learning, then I think you might have a shot at remaining in medical school.

But failing 50% of your classes in the easiest year of medical school is a gigantic indicator that medicine is not for you. If this is due to depression or poor study habits and you can turn it around somehow and never fail again then I think you could stay.

If you're trying your hardest and this is your best, then I think you need to cut your losses now before you get any further down this hole. Medical School will only get worse each year, and residency will make medical school look like cake.

 

[Goro]

I'm a M1 at a mid-to-low tier Midwest school, originally from CA. As a non-trad, I struggle with how to study, and combined with medical (mental health and learning disability) issues that persist, have not been doing well in my classes. Out of the 9 preclinical courses we've had so far, I successfully remediated 2, and will have to remediate 3 more.

Perhaps my judgement is clouded by my failures and poor mental health, but I feel trapped and lost. I'm losing sight of the desire to be a physician. I know my weaknesses lie in standardized testing and memorization as I've never been good at it. Classmates and faculty who know me continually push me to pull through because they tell me that I would make a great doctor due to my communication skills and that come clinicals in 3rd year, they're confident I'll do well and that "things will just click". But I'm scared. I doubt things "get easier" or that "there's a light at the end of the tunnel". Tbh, I don't know what is the smartest thing I should do or if I'm cut out for this path anymore.

I am trying to be realistic and would love some constructive insight on the matter-

1) If I successfully remediate and steadily pass M2, do you think that I would be able to match to a residency in CA (non-competitive specialties)? Despite the probation, abysmal progress in M1, and being in the lowest quartile?

2) Should I cut my losses and withdraw?
At this point, I don't have a strong clue about where I'd start, but I haven't invested much into med school yet so starting over in a completely new career path is not impossible.

I strongly suggest to leave of absence.
Go and heal and come back stronger

 

[Redpancreas]

If you can fundamentally change something about the way you are learning, then I think you might have a shot at remaining in medical school.

But failing 50% of your classes in the easiest year of medical school is a gigantic indicator that medicine is not for you. If this is due to depression or poor study habits and you can turn it around somehow and never fail again then I think you could stay.

If you're trying your hardest and this is your best, then I think you need to cut your losses now before you get any further down this hole. Medical School will only get worse each year, and residency will make medical school look like cake.

Agree with some of what you say, but like Libertynne says, if he or she got in, he or she should be able to handle the material and this could be a mood disorder or motivation crisis. Also, residency is challenging in an entirely different way and the skills needed for both can be very different.

OP, you shouldn’t have trouble matching at places like Kaiser, Scripps, CPMC, or other community places in California if you want IM or FM. If you learn from this and have this as your only red flag come 4th year, I could easily see you matching. Dermpire is right in a way too because that seems like a tall order at the rate you’re going. As for myself, first year was the closest I ever got to failing a course. All is not lost and if you’re being honest with us regarding your ambitions, your goals are all still in front of you.

 

[IMApplicant18]

All you need to match community IM is a weak pulse.

 

[operaman]

You absolutely must figure out why you’re failing these classes and fix it. You’re passing the remediation so you are capable of learning the material, but something else is getting in the way. To whatever extent you can treat and improve the underlying issues, I hope you’re doing absolutely everything in your power.

It will absolutely get tougher but not terribly so. The biggest hurdle for you is going to be passing step 1. People who are struggling in coursework are the ones who typically struggle on the steps. If you can pass ms2 and step1 then you’ve got a high likelihood of graduating.

I would agree with the wise Goro above that you would be well advised to take a year LOA and see how you feel. I would use this time to start preparing for ms2; maybe follow along with the year via one of your classmates so you can study the same stuff without the pressure of having to produce on a test. I would also start in on boards prep a little so you can train yourself to read and answer that style of question.

You could also plow forward and see how you do, assuming you’ll keep needing to remediate some classes. You could do this and just plan on needing a much longer dedicated step 1 study time to put the pieces together.