I would say that most general surgeons do eventually get married. Looking at my attendings, I can think of maybe 2 that aren't married out of around 40. At the resident level, most of the chiefs are married, and probably 1/2 of the program overall. (These are just estimates, I'd have to sit down and count them up if you want specific numbers). I know of 1 divorce in my program that happened very early (the spouse didn't even travel with them to the program) so I'm not sure that I would necessarily attribute it to surgery per se.
On another thread I posted a citation from NEJM about divorce in medicine and about 1/3 of marriages that included a surgeon ended in divorce for that cohort (JHU med grads) While that may seem high, it does mean that 2/3 of marriages made it, so you do have 2:1 odds of making it.
Marriage in residency can be difficult with long hours and heavy fatigue and the emotional stress that comes with it, however, I'd say that few people break up purely because of residency, however, it will definitely accentuate any problems that the relationship already has. As far as a stay-at-home spouse or a working spouse, I have seen both be successful without problems. I think it has much more to do with the temperament of the spouse. I would say, that personally I think the most important thing is for them to stay busy. It is almost cruel to strand someone in a new city without friends and have them stay inside the house all the time. They need to get out to make some friends, perhaps through a spouses' club at the hospital, perhaps local charities, perhaps the PTA, or a paying job. Lonely people are miserable, and miserable spouses make for miserable residents.
