Making friends in Medical School

[Magyarzorag]

I'm very worried about making friends in medical school and don't want a repeat of high school and college again. I definitely had many friends in high school and college, but they were distant. We would greet each other when we met and like each other post's on facebook, but I would never get an offer to go out to party, a birthday party, or a weekend trip. I'm a guy, but have no interest in sports (other than European soccer), so I feel like this is a big turning point. Whenever friends would watch a football game, I would usually give an excuse of having to go to work or study for an exam.

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[Chlorophyll Oracle]

I'm worried about this as well. I'm living a bit from campus and have to drive in so I think it will be a bit hard. Hopefully this will work out for us!

 

[strappysandals]

Pro tip from my friends that are currently in medical school: have a core group of friends outside of medicine/medical school altogether, so you can really relax and disconnect from the grind. Also gives you a bigger sample of people to connect with-like going to supporters bars to watch soccer matches, other hobby groups. It will also feel less high schooly and more like real life if you have buddies outside of school.

" I definitely had many friends in high school and college, but they were distant. We would greet each other when we met and like each other post's on facebook, but I would never get an offer to go out to party, a birthday party, or a weekend trip."
If you want to hangout with them, why dont you be the one to extend the offer. If they continue to decline, you know they arent worth your time and move on to the next. I have definitely experienced people stopping reaching out to me after I dont really reach out to them or match their interest and vise versa, etc.

 

[Moko]

I definitely had many friends in high school and college, but they were distant. We would greet each other when we met and like each other post's on facebook, but I would never get an offer to go out to party, a birthday party, or a weekend trip.

Seems like these were associates rather than real friends. The med school experience is what you make of it, and true friendships take time and continued attention to foster. You will presumably be working very closely with a small group of like-minded students during anatomy and certain small group exercises, which can help initiate and foster these long-lasting friendships. Personally, I found my med school friends mostly through school groups since I usually studied by myself.

 

[CyrilFiggis]

This thread happens every year. So for what it's worth, you're not alone. Real friendships develop from time spent together. Your first two years are going to be focused on a lot of book studying. Find a study group. Be casual with classmates during small groups. Take the initiative and invite people for post exam drinks or some event going on in your town.

 

[993444]

I'm very worried about making friends in medical school and don't want a repeat of high school and college again. I definitely had many friends in high school and college, but they were distant. We would greet each other when we met and like each other post's on facebook, but I would never get an offer to go out to party, a birthday party, or a weekend trip. I'm a guy, but have no interest in sports (other than European soccer), so I feel like this is a big turning point. Whenever friends would watch a football game, I would usually give an excuse of having to go to work or study for an exam.

Start watching American Football. Here are teams worth being a fan of:

Eagles
Patriots
49ers
Dolphins
Packers (just be wary of the crazy fans)
Texans
Cowboys
Saints
Rams
Chargers
Bears (RIP Cody Parkey)

Under no circumstances should be a fan of:

Raiders
Seahawks
Jets
Redskins
Bengals
Jaguars
Ravens
Lions

All the others teams I’m indifferent to.

 

[Pagan FutureDoc]

Ok if someone invites you to go watch the game or something...go. A lot of the time it’s not as much about the game as it is about socializing. Hang out, get to know them. Then invite them out to something you’d find more fun (trying to keep their interest in mind)
You can’t socialize if you aren’t being social. It’s kind of the root word there see?

 

[LnSin]

Start watching American Football. Here are teams worth being a fan of:

Eagles
Patriots
49ers
Dolphins
Packers (just be wary of the crazy fans)
Texans
Cowboys
Saints
Rams
Chargers
Bears (RIP Cody Parkey)

Under no circumstances should be a fan of:

Raiders
Seahawks
Jets
Redskins
Bengals
Jaguars
Ravens
Lions

All the others teams I’m indifferent to.

How dare you put my birds next to that filth. The shame.

 

[993444]

How dare you put my birds next to that filth. The shame.

Thought you'd be more mad that I put the Saints up there 🙄

 

[ciestar]

Start watching American Football. Here are teams worth being a fan of:

Eagles
Patriots
49ers
Dolphins
Packers (just be wary of the crazy fans)
Texans
Cowboys
Saints
Rams
Chargers
Bears (RIP Cody Parkey)

Under no circumstances should be a fan of:

Raiders
Seahawks
Jets
Redskins
Bengals
Jaguars
Ravens
Lions

All the others teams I’m indifferent to.

Go Birds

 

[907914]

Seahawks

2 back to back super bowls only losing the second because of cheating by the patriots? Yah, ok.

Note* I am just a Washington state resident so the Seahawks are obligatory. Never have I ever watched a game - I know the stories from NPR and don’t actually care. Go whatever team!

 

[AnMDtoB]

How dare you put my birds next to that filth. The shame.

not to mention putting the cowboys on the list too?! blasphemy.

 

[OrthoTraumaMD]

Gunners don’t have time for friends. 😉
But seriously, make some effort early on to join a study group, and things will go from there.

 

[JeSuisUnDoc]

Start watching American Football. Here are teams worth being a fan of:

Eagles
Patriots
49ers
Dolphins
Packers (just be wary of the crazy fans)
Texans
Cowboys
Saints
Rams
Chargers
Bears (RIP Cody Parkey)

Under no circumstances should be a fan of:

Raiders
Seahawks
Jets
Redskins
Bengals
Jaguars
Ravens
Lions

All the others teams I’m indifferent to.

First of all how dare you, second: Go Hawks and Skol!!!

 

[deleted967981]

Thought you'd be more mad that I put the Saints up there 🙄

Hey now...the Saints belong up there!

Also OP, my class has already gotten together a few times to play basketball, beach volleyball, and someone on our class fb group is planning a hike this week.

Reach out to your class group and invite people to get together.

 

[LizzyM]

Study groups, cooking groups, class -wide social events such as a Halloween Party. Unlike college, the number of students enrolled in an incoming class is generally small so you'll know almost everyone in the class and you may get to know the class ahead of you, too. Med schools tend to have social events during orientation so take advantage of those opportunities to make the acquantance of some of your classmates. Then rather than wait for an invitation, issue a party invitation yourself to people you 'd like to get to know better.
Because everyone is on the same schedule in med school, there are epic parties after exams so don't be a gunner and blow those off-- they are a great time to relax and have a few hours of fun.

 

[907914]

Study groups, cooking groups, class -wide social events such as a Halloween Party. Unlike college, the number of students enrolled in an incoming class is generally small so you'll know almost everyone in the class and you may get to know the class ahead of you, too. Med schools tend to have social events during orientation so take advantage of those opportunities to make the acquantance of some of your classmates. Then rather than wait for an invitation, issue a party invitation yourself to people you 'd like to get to know better.
Because everyone is on the same schedule in med school, there are epic parties after exams so don't be a gunner and blow those off-- they are a great time to relax and have a few hours of fun.

Do students have to go to social events during orientation?

 

[993444]

2 back to back super bowls only losing the second because of cheating by the patriots? Yah, ok.

Note* I am just a Washington state resident so the Seahawks are obligatory. Never have I ever watched a game - I know the stories from NPR and don’t actually care. Go whatever team!

That interception by Butler at the goal line was, is, and always will be iconic.

 

[LizzyM]

Do students have to go to social events during orientation?

You have to attend the portions of orientation that are mandatory. There may be parts of orientation that are optional. The social events are an opportunity for key faculty to meet you and for you to meet them, too, in addition to meeting other students. Some of the social events might be lunchtime picnics or BBQ and it would be odd to not attend when you are in orientation sessions before and after.

 

[907914]

You have to attend the portions of orientation that are mandatory. There may be parts of orientation that are optional. The social events are an opportunity for key faculty to meet you and for you to meet them, too, in addition to meeting other students. Some of the social events might be lunchtime picnics or BBQ and it would be odd to not attend when you are in orientation sessions before and after.

Can spouses and families come to largely social gatherings like that?

 

[ciestar]

Do students have to go to social events during orientation?

No, but it really helps you meet your classmates in informal setting that isn’t orientation

 

[ciestar]

Can spouses and families come to largely social gatherings like that?

We had a social every night of my orientation. First day was a bbq at the school, followed by a trip to a bar in center city. Second day was a bowling thing. Third day was a bigger party that you got all dressed up for. I took my husband to the party as you could bring guests to that. None of that stuff was appropriate for kids as there was alcohol involved at all of them.

 

[LizzyM]

Can spouses and families come to largely social gatherings like that?

The schools sometimes have events that include significant others and some schools might have events that include kids. That might be a question to ask student hosts when you go for interviews.

 

[ciestar]

The schools sometimes have events that include significant others and some schools might have events that include kids. That might be a question to ask student hosts when you go for interviews.

At my school, with really one exception, nothing included kids (and to my knowledge, only two in my class of 260 have a child). Other things like the fall bash and med prom you could get guest tickets for.

 

[LizzyM]

At my school, with really one exception, nothing included kids (and to my knowledge, only two in my class of 260 have a child). Other things like the fall bash and med prom you could get guest tickets for.

I think that some schools may attract more non-trads who have kids. This may be, in part, a function of the school's location and whether the area is affordable for people with kids and the local daycare/ k-12 school system is strong.

Schools that have a large proportion of married students (making a stereotypal assumption that Utah might be such a school) might have more social events that are designed to appeal to couples. That's part of "finding a good fit" when you consider choices (if you have choices).

 

[ciestar]

I think that some schools may attract more non-trads who have kids. This may be, in part, a function of the school's location and whether the area is affordable for people with kids and the local daycare/ k-12 school system is strong.

Schools that have a large proportion of married students (making a stereotypal assumption that Utah might be such a school) might have more social events that are designed to appeal to couples. That's part of "finding a good fit" when you consider choices (if you have choices).

Very true.
Id imagine gatherings at Loma Linda would be much more tame as well.

For us, all orientation activities are planned by the representatives of the second year class. So, their ideas play a role too.

 

[TelemarketingEnigma]

Can spouses and families come to largely social gatherings like that?

The schools sometimes have events that include significant others and some schools might have events that include kids. That might be a question to ask student hosts when you go for interviews.

My school had an event during orientation (or sometime early in the school year) specifically for students with spouses/serious partners/families. I didn't go as that didn't apply to me, but I think it was a dinner hosted by two of our deans who are a married couple themselves. I don't know for sure if kids were welcome, but I wouldn't be surprised if they were!

As far as other orientation/early social events, typically they weren't very kid friendly (alcohol, etc) but spouses would probably have been welcome at a lot of them. We didn't have as many formal, school hosted events as some others have described, but during orientation/early in the year there were TONS of student-organized events, of varying degrees of formality, where spouses would have been welcome.

However, welcome doesn't necessarily mean they'll feel super comfortable - That'll depend on your spouse's comfort level socializing with strangers. They'll often be one of the only non-students at these events, but if they're comfortable and it's clear you guys are a package deal, most students wouldn't mind at all and usually enjoy meeting their classmates SOs.

Some students also made the effort to organize more wholesome meetups early on - I remember someone organized a dog park meetup for people who had dogs/wanted to play with dogs. I think it was just a small group of people, but if you feel comfortable taking the initiative to organize one of these informal events, you could probably find a way to bring your family into it! Those were usually just informally organized through our class group chat/facebook page

 

[Fazoodle]

Medical school can be lonely, but never forget you will always have a friend that you can count on 9am-5pm Monday through Friday, 10am-5pm on Saturdays, and Noon to 5 on Sundays. And that is your friend in the diamond business.

Shan Co: Now YOU have a friend in the diamond business.

 

[Sleepingdoc]

I'm very worried about making friends in medical school and don't want a repeat of high school and college again. I definitely had many friends in high school and college, but they were distant. We would greet each other when we met and like each other post's on facebook, but I would never get an offer to go out to party, a birthday party, or a weekend trip. I'm a guy, but have no interest in sports (other than European soccer), so I feel like this is a big turning point. Whenever friends would watch a football game, I would usually give an excuse of having to go to work or study for an exam.

Get ready for long lonely days and nights of studying...

 

[Jappa]

Start watching American Football. Here are teams worth being a fan of:

Eagles
Patriots
49ers
Dolphins
Packers (just be wary of the crazy fans)
Texans
Cowboys
Saints
Rams
Chargers
Bears (RIP Cody Parkey)

Under no circumstances should be a fan of:

Raiders
Seahawks
Jets
Redskins
Bengals
Jaguars
Ravens
Lions

All the others teams I’m indifferent to.

Good luck with being a fan of the dolphins right now

 

[kfcchikin]

I can't say much on specifics of med school bc I'm not in it lol. But I'm a girl and the guys in my friend groups generally didn't care about sports / it wasn't a social focus as we were in a very urban area. Did you ever offer to go out to a bar or on a weekend trip with them? Did you ask them to go to lunch, find out about events in the city to go to, etc? Also the football games are also social events. You can have negative interest in sports but still show up to hang out with friends.

At the end of the day, regardless of college vs med school vs whatever, it's on you how close your relationships will be. My parents went to different med schools -- my mom is in touch with none of her friends from it, and my dad still speaks to his all of the time from thousands of miles away and I consider them my #1 family over any blood relatives. Med school permits for either extreme of relationships and it's on you to take initiative so it'll work out

 

[Medic741]

I avoided socializing with my class because the environment was extremely toxic and made friends in the community by joining gyms and pursuing my hobbies and being social when I was out.

Then, when you’re spending your leisure time you also get to do exactly what you want to instead of drinking in some ****ty apartment

 

[Rachapkis]

Start watching American Football. Here are teams worth being a fan of:

Eagles
Patriots
49ers
Dolphins
Packers (just be wary of the crazy fans)
Texans
Cowboys
Saints
Rams
Chargers
Bears (RIP Cody Parkey)

Under no circumstances should be a fan of:

Raiders
Seahawks
Jets
Redskins
Bengals
Jaguars
Ravens
Lions

All the others teams I’m indifferent to.

Fly Eagles (pronounced A-gles) Fly!

 

[thegrind33]

Start watching American Football. Here are teams worth being a fan of:

Eagles
Patriots
49ers
Dolphins
Packers (just be wary of the crazy fans)
Texans
Cowboys
Saints
Rams
Chargers
Bears (RIP Cody Parkey)

Under no circumstances should be a fan of:

Raiders
Seahawks
Jets
Redskins
Bengals
Jaguars
Ravens
Lions

All the others teams I’m indifferent to.

As a Texan fan, I cannot recommend someone being a fan of them unless they want a heart attack

 

[Engrailed]

I avoided socializing with my class because the environment was extremely toxic and made friends in the community by joining gyms and pursuing my hobbies and being social when I was out.

Then, when you’re spending your leisure time you also get to do exactly what you want to instead of drinking in some ****ty apartment

Toxic in what way? Was it all gunners who didn't want to share notes (sort of thing)?

 

[Cornfed101]

+1, I feel like my entire class is either straight out of college or took 1-2 years. I definitely interviewed at places that had a much higher proportion of nontrads. I think most students are honest about telling you whether or not their school tends to skew younger or older, which probably correlates pretty well with how many are married or have children.

I might have had a 2-year-old when I graduated with my bachelors