Marriage and Pharmacy School

[Lurkerkat]

I am beginning my last year of college and this fall I am sending out my application for pharmacy school. This January I am also getting married (yay!). My concern right now is how pharmacy school will affect my marriage. I've already warned my fiance I may not be around much for the first four years of our marriage if I get accepted to a school this spring. We're both independent people who can handle being on our own and I am very, very, very lucky that he has already graduated, has a great job and does not have any student loans lingering about. I'm just looking for people who have had experience managing marriage and ridiculous post graduate work loads. Any advice, warnings, and such would be very much appreciated.

Karen

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[freshbeatschris]

I am beginning my last year of college and this fall I am sending out my application for pharmacy school. This January I am also getting married (yay!). My concern right now is how pharmacy school will affect my marriage. I've already warned my fiance I may not be around much for the first four years of our marriage if I get accepted to a school this spring. We're both independent people who can handle being on our own and I am very, very, very lucky that he has already graduated, has a great job and does not have any student loans lingering about. I'm just looking for people who have had experience managing marriage and ridiculous post graduate work loads. Any advice, warnings, and such would be very much appreciated.

Karen

Well, I'll be in the same boat with you. I start pharmacy school at the end of this month and I am getting married in two years - halfway through pharm school. He has been awesome with being supportive of me throughout pre-pharm, but I'm wondering if it is going to be 10 times worse with pharm school.

We also just bought a condo together and are in the process of moving in. It is already intensely stressful.

Midwestern even has an ice cream social for couple to help prepare them for the rigors of keeping a relationship together while one is working their way through pharm school.

I'm curious to see what happens with you. Keep me informed and I'll do the same.

Chris

 

[foroneaudience]

I would really like to hear from a married pharmacy student as well. My boyfriend and I have talked quite a bit about getting married while I am in school and he seems to think it's a bad idea and that we should wait. So I dunno...

 

[WVUPharm2007]

This is how I saw it.

It was the same thing as before marriage, but she has the same last name as me. Getting married really doesn't change anything whatsoever in your life with the exception of awesome car insurance rates and tax credits. If you are serious, just get married. It would make zero difference if you did it now or in 4 years if the fella is really willing to go through with it.

 

[All4MyDaughter]

This is how I saw it.

It was the same thing as before marriage, but she has the same last name as me. Getting married really doesn't change anything whatsoever in your life with the exception of awesome car insurance rates and tax credits. If you are serious, just get married. It would make zero difference if you did it now or in 4 years if the fella is really willing to go through with it.

The car insurance rates are awesome, that's for sure.

Also being able to be on a working spouse's health insurance policy instead of having to buy one of your own is very nice.

No real (federal) tax advantage to being married, at least from what I've seen. The REAL tax benefit comes when you pop out a kid. I speak from experience.

Obviously, some very romantic reasons to get married.

 

[DHG]

I am beginning my last year of college and this fall I am sending out my application for pharmacy school. This January I am also getting married (yay!). My concern right now is how pharmacy school will affect my marriage. I've already warned my fiance I may not be around much for the first four years of our marriage if I get accepted to a school this spring. We're both independent people who can handle being on our own and I am very, very, very lucky that he has already graduated, has a great job and does not have any student loans lingering about. I'm just looking for people who have had experience managing marriage and ridiculous post graduate work loads. Any advice, warnings, and such would be very much appreciated.

Karen

My goodness, this sounds like my history, word for word. I got married in January with one semester left to finish my degree... applied to pharmacy shcools in spring/summer of that year, and starting pharmacy school this year.

I think my husband knows what to expect because my last two years in my undergrad program were pretty demanding (Biochemistry degree) and I was also working about 30-40 hours per week.

He's been extremely supportive and I don't know what I'd do without him. Hope yours is as great as mine has been

 

[RachGator]

From my observations:
If you are going to get married during pharmacy school, try not to let the wedding itself get out of hand. I have seen more stress and drama over the wedding than in the first year of the marriage. One girl I know let her fiance plan most of the wedding while she tackled her firat year of law school. He (and his mom) actually did a really nice job : ).

 

[All4MyDaughter]

From my observations:
If you are going to get married during pharmacy school, try not to let the wedding itself get out of hand. I have seen more stress and drama over the wedding than in the first year of the marriage. One girl I know let her fiance plan most of the wedding while she tackled her firat year of law school. He (and his mom) actually did a really nice job : ).

This is good advice and not just for pharmacy students.

My pharmacy manager and his fiance are about to go nuts with the planning of their wedding. She calls there every day in tears about something or other.

My younger sister got married in June (big wedding) and it about did us all in.

It's a cliche, but it's true: people often put more thought into their wedding than into their marriage itself.

I planned my wedding in < one week and it cost under $1000 including honeymoon. It was exactly what I wanted and I have a wonderful marriage. We just celebrated our 5th anniversary.

 

[Lurkerkat]

From my observations:
If you are going to get married during pharmacy school, try not to let the wedding itself get out of hand. I have seen more stress and drama over the wedding than in the first year of the marriage. One girl I know let her fiance plan most of the wedding while she tackled her firat year of law school. He (and his mom) actually did a really nice job : ).

I'm getting married in Vegas. My wedding is like two weeks after my finals and there was no way I was going to manage a huge wedding and be able to focus at all on school. The last thing I would need is some vendor pulling some sort of crap the night before my biochemistry final.

 

[AZpharm81]

I am so glad there is finally a thread covering this topic I've been married for about a year and half, and it has been wonderful. We did the Vegas thing. It was just us and it was great! I never wanted something big and personally I thought it was a huge waste of money. We were closing on our new home at about the same time and had saved about $10,000 just for the house (furniture, appliances, etc..). Blowing all that on a huge wedding didn't even cross our minds. I think it's insane how some people go in debt over a wedding. I'd rather be in debt over a good education.

As for pharmacy school. I'm a reapplicant so my husband has known how long I've wanted this. We talked over this for awhile, and even had some arguments about it (like what if we have to relocate and him losing his job, etc., etc.). He has a really secure job and will be supporting me throughout pharmacy school. In the end I know he will always support me and we will work out something If I wasn't accepted this year, I talked about applying to out of state schools next year, and he finally agreed to this. Luckily, this year I was accepted at a school that's about an hour and 20 min. drive from our house. I will be commuting to the school and staying at a studio apt. there from Mon-Thurs. Then, driving back on Fri. to be with him for the weekend. That is the only option at this point and I know it will be so tough in the beginning. I'm attending a 4-yr. university, so I will have all my summers off, holidays, etc., ...so I'm hoping it will go by fast. I was so independent before I met him, but now, I can't imagine spending 1 night without him. We just keep telling ourselves....short term sacrifices = long term benefits.

If you're really in love then I agree that it doesn't matter when you marry. There will definitely be some hurdles to cross, some bumps in the road.. But, in the end, both of you will make it through.

 

[All4MyDaughter]

Blowing all that on a huge wedding didn't even cross our minds. I think it's insane how some people go in debt over a wedding. I'd rather be in debt over a good education.

Yes, absolutely crazy to go into debt. Now, I've been to a $50,000+ wedding, and it was fab-u-lous(I personally enjoyed the open bar with all top-shelf spirits and the two entree dinner and the four different types of cake and the 1000's of chocolate covered strawberries) but the bride's father footed the whole bill and it was almost like a business expense for him, due to his line of work, need to wine and dine clients, etc.

My husband's brother and his wife decided to get married in Florida... despite living in Kentucky and having family in New York. They spent a fortune and are still paying it off three years later. They had a pretty big honeymoon too, in Jamaica.

I'm sure the wedding was really nice, but we didn't get to go. I was pregnant (high risk and right after a pregnancy loss) and because of a medical condition I could not fly or make the long drive. My husband refused to leave me (very protective type) even though I urged him to fly down for the day. One the other hand, it was a relief not to go - our friends and family members who did make the trip all spent $1000-2000 on travel, food, hotel, etc.

It's crazy to go into debt for your own wedding, to do it for someone else's is insanity! So keep that in mind when making your wedding plans, folks!

 

[rxlynn]

As for pharmacy school. I'm a reapplicant so my husband has known how long I've wanted this. We talked over this for awhile, and even had some arguments about it (like what if we have to relocate and him losing his job, etc., etc.). He has a really secure job and will be supporting me throughout pharmacy school. In the end I know he will always support me and we will work out something If I wasn't accepted this year, I talked about applying to out of state schools next year, and he finally agreed to this. Luckily, this year I was accepted at a school that's about an hour and 20 min. drive from our house. I will be commuting to the school and staying at a studio apt. there from Mon-Thurs. Then, driving back on Fri. to be with him for the weekend. That is the only option at this point and I know it will be so tough in the beginning. I'm attending a 4-yr. university, so I will have all my summers off, holidays, etc., ...so I'm hoping it will go by fast. I was so independent before I met him, but now, I can't imagine spending 1 night without him. We just keep telling ourselves....short term sacrifices = long term benefits.

If you're really in love then I agree that it doesn't matter when you marry. There will definitely be some hurdles to cross, some bumps in the road.. But, in the end, both of you will make it through.

One of my student interviewers this year had this exact same situation. She lived in on-campus apartment during the week, and commuted back to husband on the weekends. She said it was hard, but doable since they did not have children yet. And, she said in some ways it worked really well, because she was able to really focus on school during the week.

 

[freshbeatschris]

I will be commuting to the school and staying at a studio apt. there from Mon-Thurs. Then, driving back on Fri. to be with him for the weekend. That is the only option at this point and I know it will be so tough in the beginning. I'm attending a 4-yr. university, so I will have all my summers off, holidays, etc., ...so I'm hoping it will go by fast. I was so independent before I met him, but now, I can't imagine spending 1 night without him. We just keep telling ourselves....short term sacrifices = long term benefits.

If you're really in love then I agree that it doesn't matter when you marry. There will definitely be some hurdles to cross, some bumps in the road.. But, in the end, both of you will make it through.

That's crazy that you will be able to afford two homes AND pharmacy school on one income. He must have a REALLY good job.

I'm not going to get a second apartment, but we did make sure that I will have my own office to study in. We also bought a condo that is equidistant between his work and my pharm school. It's nestled in the woods and is SO QUIET. I love it.

I think everything will end up working out... I don't see how right now, but I feel like everything will fall into place eventually.

Chris

 

[YBD2.JH]

Luckily, this year I was accepted at a school that's about an hour and 20 min. drive from our house. I will be commuting to the school and staying at a studio apt. there from Mon-Thurs. Then, driving back on Fri. to be with him for the weekend.

I know this P-1 student who is becoming P-2, that has commuted to his pharmacy school by driving 1 hour and 20 minutes every day! (if you count both ways, it's 2 hours and 40 minutes) He said it was tough at first, but he got used to it. The drawback of that is, because he has to drive back home every day, he cannot get much involved in extracurricular activities or work after school.

 

[WVUPharm2007]

From my observations:
If you are going to get married during pharmacy school, try not to let the wedding itself get out of hand. I have seen more stress and drama over the wedding than in the first year of the marriage. One girl I know let her fiance plan most of the wedding while she tackled her firat year of law school. He (and his mom) actually did a really nice job : ).

I had it done in a courthouse. Cost me $16. Of which I got back after my next car insurance bill when I saved $20-some dollars.

 

[Pharm47]

Personally I think being a full time student is easier than having a full time job. I'm looking forward to having a break for 4 years of school. Between class and studying, I doubt I'll spend more than the 50 hours/week I do now at work. So anyway, point is, the first year of marriage for me I was working 55-60 hours/week. If we can make it through that, we can make it through 4 years of pharm school. If, however, I have to work 20 hours/week in addition to school to keep us afloat...it could be tough!

 

[KaoticMD]

My husband and I went through the same thing you're anticipating. He entered Pharm school out of state when our child was 4 months old. I was a single Mom supporting the family by paying the bills, paying his rent, paying the mortgage and of course caring for a 4 month old. All my husband had to do was go to school! The only time my child would see his Daddy was during Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring Break and Summer Break. It's tough not seeing your child grow up. He didn't experience when our child crawled, walked, first tooth, eating with a fork, or first word. Then there was toddlerhood: temper tantrums, cutting with scissors, and painting and drawing.

There are many sacrifices to be made that hopefully works out in the end. I wish you the best of luck on your Pharmacy journey and marriage.

 

[UTfarmer]

I'm a newly wed and I was worried about the time consumption with pharm school. My spouse is very supportive. A challenge like this is a true test to the relationship. You husband will have to give in to your needs more often, and you can joke about how you are his retirment plan so he better treat you right! =) My man was more happier than I was when I got in. He just says that he wants me to be happy, just simple as that. I would hold off on having kids though. good luck!

 

[ZpackSux]

I got married after P-2 year. Worked out well.