marriage?

[kilroth]

Hi everyone. Here is my dilemma: I have been dating a girl for a year now and we are pretty sure we want to get married sometime while I am in medical school. She lives at home and commutes to school in the suburban area. Is it possible to get married after my first year of med school even though she will still have one year left of college (education)? She could definitely commute there if I choose one of the schools I am already accepted to, but I am not certain if we could afford it without her having a salary. Waiting until after my second year would be better but there is step 1 and then only a week or two until 3rd year rotations begin. After 3rd year is the only real option at this point in time but I don't want to wait this long. To top it off I know her parents, who are somewhat protective, might get irate at this option. They would be perfectly fine with it after my 2nd year when she will have a job. Hmmmm.

So to sum it all up: can I support myself and a wife in her senior year with loans?

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[Ashleigh]

That's a good question. How will you be financially surviving during med school? Basically, I feel like at least one person in the relationship should be financially independent when they get married.

At the same time, if you really love her, I believe things work out exactly as they are supposed to.

 

[MRAM]

kilroth ~ Yes you can support her.

Speaking from a similar experience. I had two years to go with my degree when I married my husband. Here are a couple of things to think about:

Being married doesn't cost much more than being single as long as you don't make a leap into larger housing. Example have a one bedroom apartment. We did and it worked out great. Also when you are married you tend to eat at home more often and go out less......ching ching....

Also, my parents were fine with me getting married as long as I continued school. My parents continued to finace my education and my husband covered my living expenses. ( I do remember my folks covered my car insurance those two yrs also) Everything worked out fine. I did take jobs here and there when money got tight. I worked at the mall-- waited tables during the summer that kind of thing.

If your question is can you support her on YOUR med loans ....Yes....because adjustments will be made for your married status.....you could easily support her living expenses, but she would have to spring for her education expenses....and her transportation. Plus it would be for only one year...that is really not very long.

I think if you want to get married and you both are willing to make sacrifices ( and if she is marrying you with your chosen profession she should get use to this idea) then getting married earlier rather than later is realistic option. Perhaps her family would be willing to do what my parents did.

I think the bigger issue you might face is that when she leaves her home she is going to be creating a home with you and have certain expectations. You on the other hand are going to have a lot of time restraints with studying etc. I could see that being harder to manage than the money issue ESPECIALLY if you wait until your 3rd year (I've heard that is the hardest)

I would imagine her folk's main worries are that she might not finish school. If you guys do decide you want to get married I would go to her parents and tell them your #1 priority is to help her finish up her degree and that you see that as the first major step in your marriage...and that you are committed 100% and expect nothing less for her. Tell them that you love her and know that her having an education for herself is your top priority. Also tell them what birth control measures you guys are going to use while she is in school ( maybe also while YOU are in school) I'm sure they have all of the regular worries any parent would have for a daughter. If you could address their fears you will win them over. ( Plus it wouldn't hurt to tell them the deciding factor for the school you attend will be based on how it would work best for her and her schooling----this would earn big brownie points)

 

[Kalel]

You could just wait until after second year, after you take step I, and just push one of your third year rotations back to fourth year. I'm certain that your school has this option, most schools have this flexibility for people who fail step I and have to re-take it; they just postpone 1-2 third year rotations and take them in third year so that they won't lose a whole year. Personally, I'd wait until the end of third year and get married sometime during fourth year to get married. You will have vacation months built into fourth year, and you won't have to think about the wedding while you are studying for step I. Regarding your question of being able to support the both of you, it would just depend on which school you went to and how high tuition is. If tuition and fees are really high, you may not have a lot of flexibility in taking out more of the federal loans to support you both in which case you would have to turn to private loans which are expensive.

 

[OrangeOblivion]

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[J ROD]

I know this thread is old as dirt and this douche bumped for what?

but dont get married......just shack up and have teh sex.....

 

[cbrons]

I know this thread is old as dirt and this douche bumped for what?

but dont get married......just shack up and have teh sex.....

get married, don't be a coward

 

[J ROD]

get married, don't be a coward

based on the age of this post, they probably are already divorced....

 

[apex954]

based on the age of this post, they probably are already divorced....

lol...

 

[bidiboom]