Married Question...

[Futuredoctr]

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Now I know this is in the "wrong spot" but I think I'll get the best answers here. I'm looking to apply with my girlfriend this summer (my mcats are done, her's will be in aug) and we both are going to try to get into the same school. Things are progressing well with us, and we're looking at getting married next year in the spring before school. My question is...what's the things I need to know... Do married couples go to school together? What is it like to be married and going to school together for those who marry while in school? I know its going to be hard -- really hard-- but I want this to work out so well! I'm semi-freaking out, I graduate soon and she's got another year, and trying to plan everything is crazy. Any advice would be great, and please feel free to be honest. Thanks 😕

 

[DoctorFunk]

I'm sure it can be done, and in for some may even be helpful in maintaining a strong marriage. That being said, I would think that it would be much easier if you were in different graduating classes. That way neither of you will feel like you are bringing your "work" home with you quite as much as if you were studying the same subjects everyday.

 

[Sweepea8137]

Hi...

My husband and I will be married for a year in June. We got married the summer before my first year and before his third year. We have been apart for nearly 3 years now. While I was finishing up graduate school, he was starting medical school. Now, I am finishing up my first year of medical school in NY and he is finishing up his third year in MA. I won't lie and say it's not difficult being apart, but we make it work. To be completely honest, I think our marriage is stronger for it. When we spend time together, it's typically time well-spent, as we tend not to argue over the things that provoke arguments when you see one another every day. We see one another every other week - with the exception of exam weeks. The bottom line is this - you make it work! If you truly see yourself with this person for the rest of your life, you make sacrifices. You get used to it, and the best part about it - you grow to appreciate your partner more (as corny as that sounds). I will say, however, that it is MUCH easier being married to someone who is in medicine. We can relate to one another and we understand what the other is going through. "Civilians", or non-medicine folk, as my school likes to call them, may not be as understanding of the sacrifices you must make and the time you must dedicate to your studies in med school. Let me be clear and say that this applies to some, not all!

Some relationships make it, others don't....it's up to you and your partner! Good luck with everything!! 😀

 

[dragonmate]

Hi OP,
I went through the same thing this last year. My bf went off to dental school in a different state and I was a year behind, so I tried to get into the same school (medical) but they rejected me and now we'll be apart indefinetely.
The bottom line is this: I was absolutely sure that we would be able to get into the same state, but this is not the reality. It is def. possible, but med school is soooo competitive that you both have to be absolutely steller applicants to have a chance of attending the same school. Definetely try it, but please be prepared for the worst.
We have been dating for the past 3 years, so our relationship has a strong base to keep this going and we will be seeing each other once a month, but I think it's doable. Just be prepared in either case and figure out how committed you are to medicine and to each other.

 

[Droopy Snoopy]

Couples aren't all that uncommon, but they usually get together during med school not college. Landing spots in the same school will I guess depend on your relative competitiveness and the competitiveness of the applied-to schools. So if you have better credentials than she does, you might be accepted to more/better schools and have to "settle" for a state school. Which would be fine, except the pressure of being an M1 might cause a breakup, then you have to live with going to an inferior school, with an ex- you despise (and who you'll probably have to see every day for years and years to come). Sorry, that all came out pretty cynical, didn't it? On the good side, there is a couples residency match to look forward to if you guys make it.

 

[TxMed]

hola OP,
my wife and i were married last summer and started med school together last fall (today is actually our 10 month anniversary!). for us, being married has made med school so much easier. when i get home i don't have to explain why i am tired and frustrated...because she knows exactly why.
many times a great partner (like in a marriage) compliments you and is strong in areas that you are weak. i am strong in anatomy so i help her with that...she is stupifyingly good at neuro, so she helps me with that. its really awesome if you have a great partner. (but this is just our experience)

 

[Brainsucker]

Apply to areas that have lots of med schools like Boston or New York. That way you can end up in the same city, if not school. (I think it'd be best to be in different schools in the same city.)

 

[needinformation]

I do know of a couple that applied the same year, went to the same school, and then got married after 1st year. The arrangement worked out well for them. There is no clear answer for this at all. Some people love being with their significant other 24-7, so they arrange their schedule to be exactly the same. Other med school couples found that too competitive and opted for different schedules...etc. All in all, just like any relationship, some will make it, some won't. That being said, it is not entirely impossible. If you both have good apps, apply to a lot of schools, like the previous post stated, big cities will offer you the most options, esp NY. You have NYU, Columbia, NYMC, Cornell, SUNY Downstate, all within 1 hour drive of each other, and if need be, Albany isn't TOO far away, at least possible for weekend commutes. Similarly for the Greater Bay Area: UCSF, Stanford, and UC Davis. If this is REALLY important to you to start the same time, stay together, you might consider applying to DO schools too- just to further your chances. Good luck.

 

[Vista04]

I can not speak to what it is actually like being married in med school, but my GF of 3+ years and I did go through the application process this year trying to get into same school/location. We were extremely fortunate and now have a choice between going to the same or different schools in Boston or the same school in Seattle. Hopefully this shows that it can be done.

Before the application process began I asked some of the schools that I was applying to if it helped/hurt a candidate to indicate that they were trying to get into the same school as their partner and got mixed results. Some schools indicated that it was very useful info for them to have and that they often selected couples to be a part of their entering classes. Other schools told us that it is looked down upon. I felt like it really varied with the school and even with the individual person at the school that I spoke with. In the end, we did a mix of making schools aware and leaving them in the dark while we were applying. If we did let them know about the relationship, it was done during a conversation with an adcom member at a couple of schools prior to turning in our secondaries or during the interview if it came up. We also indicated in a couple of secondaries (as a part of the answer to the "specific reason for wanting to attend" question) that we were hoping to go to the school together and liked how x school was supportive of this idea.

 

[don juan]

Now I know this is in the "wrong spot" but I think I'll get the best answers here. I'm looking to apply with my girlfriend this summer (my mcats are done, her's will be in aug) and we both are going to try to get into the same school. Things are progressing well with us, and we're looking at getting married next year in the spring before school. My question is...what's the things I need to know... Do married couples go to school together? What is it like to be married and going to school together for those who marry while in school? I know its going to be hard -- really hard-- but I want this to work out so well! I'm semi-freaking out, I graduate soon and she's got another year, and trying to plan everything is crazy. Any advice would be great, and please feel free to be honest. Thanks 😕

What's the point of getting married during medical school? Why not wait until later when you're ready to have kids?

 

[Miami_med]

Do research for a year and wait for her if you really want to get married so that you can make informed decisions about where you will both get in. I have been married for nearly 4 years (Wife not in Medical school), but I can tell you that it is worth a year's wait to be assured a life in the same state.

 

[OHMAN0125]

Do research for a year and wait for her if you really want to get married so that you can make informed decisions about where you will both get in. I have been married for nearly 4 years (Wife not in Medical school), but I can tell you that it is worth a year's wait to be assured a life in the same state.

Being married in med school is good and fine, but I caution that as for you and ur partner, it may be unpredictable if you'll end up at the same school. I think the above suggestion is best since if you apply together you'll be able to gauge which interviews and schools will most likely accept you. And even this is unpredictable since you can both have interviews at a school and only one gets in. But then all you guys need will be one school to accept both of you. However, this is a lot better than you going off somewhere first and leaving that school as the one and only choice. SO>>> if you want to goto school together wait for her, the chances are ALOT better. 👍