Match Program Translation Thread

[alwaysaangel]

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After reading some of the old threads on how terrible the match is and how all those people didn't get their top choices even though they were assured they were loved...I figured it would be fun to make a PD translation thread. An entertaining what they say versus what they mean.

Come up with some of the common phrases used by interviewers/PDs or things you've been told and translate them into what they really mean...or at least a funny pretend version of it.

Its supposed to be funny not anxiety provoking. Theres nothing we can do to make this process suck less, so lets at least poke fun at the hilarious game that is ERAS and the Match.

I'll start:

"You are ranked to match"...maybe, but really it depends how far down on our list we go.

"You're a very strong applicant, I'm sure you will be able to go wherever you want"....just as long as thats not here.

"Your letters are very strong"...maybe your home program will take you.

"You have excellent scores"...unfortunately you can't really talk about scores in interviews and I have nothing else in common with you so I'm stuck.

"We are confident you will match at your number 1"...and even if you don't we're sure you'll tell people you did to save face.

 

[rachmoninov3]

After reading some of the old threads on how terrible the match is and how all those people didn't get their top choices even though they were assured they were loved...I figured it would be fun to make a PD translation thread. An entertaining what they say versus what they mean.

Come up with some of the common phrases used by interviewers/PDs or things you've been told and translate them into what they really mean...or at least a funny pretend version of it.

Its supposed to be funny not anxiety provoking. Theres nothing we can do to make this process suck less, so lets at least poke fun at the hilarious game that is ERAS and the Match.

I'll start:

"You are ranked to match"...maybe, but really it depends how far down on our list we go.

"You're a very strong applicant, I'm sure you will be able to go wherever you want"....just as long as thats not here.

"Your letters are very strong"...maybe your home program will take you.

"You have excellent scores"...unfortunately you can't really talk about scores in interviews and I have nothing else in common with you so I'm stuck.

"We are confident you will match at your number 1"...and even if you don't we're sure you'll tell people you did to save face.

thanks, I needed that!

 

[agranulocytosis]

"You interviewed well"...yeah right, loser.

 

[rachmoninov3]

Not a translation but definately a match theory and possible even a law:

The amount of love letters a program sends you is inversely proportionate to how competitive the program is.

in mathematical terms: 1/(# of love letters from program) = competitiveness of a program (higher the number the more competitive the program)

 

[Richspiders07]

"you would do well here"... but we rarely drop that far on our rank list

 

[sara223344]

"You're a great fit for this program.." -- so is everyone else CC'ed on this email.

 

[Doctor4Life1769]

Not a translation but definately a match theory and possible even a law:

The amount of love letters a program sends you is inversely proportionate to how competitive the program is.

in mathematical terms: 1/(# of love letters from program) = competitiveness of a program (higher the number the more competitive the program)

I DEFINITELY needed that ... given how I'd not heard back from any of the programs I interviewed at, except for one mailing out a generic form letter like they did to other interviewees ..

I should've applied to IM as a backup..

 

[QofQuimica]

"Thank you so much for coming to interview with us."
(Translation: All of these other people who we really wanted to meet canceled their interviews last minute, so we're actually grateful that at least *you* showed up.)

"You have a very interesting background."
(Translation: We're not accustomed to taking nontraditional candidates, and we're not quite sure how you made it through the initial filter, Q.)

"Where are you hoping to end up?"
(Translation: Come on, be serious. We both know you have zero intention of moving to this city!)

"What do you like to do for fun?"
(Translation: You seem like a total loser who has no life outside of medicine.)

"How would your best friend describe you?"
(Translation: Yeah, you really are a loser, so now I want you to prove to me that you actually have any friends.)

"What is your greatest weakness?"
(Translation: Let's see if you have enough insight to figure out that you're a total loser with no life and no friends. And even better, if you'll actually admit it to me.)

"Why should we take you over other applicants?"
(Translation: No seriously. This one really does mean exactly what it says.)

 

[WingedOx]

reminded me of this...