matters of the heart

[jessi]

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ok, this post is the continuation of this previous thread:

[/QUOTE] is there a common emotional experience in MS1?


For those of you already beyond the first year, i need your pearls of wisdom. Did you notice certain trends or emotional cycles you and your classmates went through during the first year? was there a particular point that everyone flipped out? then became emotional messes? broke up with significant others? became withdrawn? was there a point where people came full circle and figured out how to cope? i know people deal in different ways but i'm just curious if there is a common process everyone goes through when faced with the emotional demands and the time commitment of med school.
thanks
~jessi

and what about those with significant others? what was that experience? did alot of people in your class with SO's go thru similar challenges in their relationships? for example, did everyone seem to break up at one point and then wind up getting back together later in the year?

 

[k's mom]

Absolutely! Yes, yes and Yes. And it certainly does not stop after MS1. I am the spouse, not the student, but med school is a completely different game, even if you are coming from another graduate school experience. Essentially, there is a cycle of building frustrations and tension leading up to a test, then it starts building again from the very next day. Some blocks are better, some are worse, and it really depends on the student. I really feel that people with (supportive) partners are much better off in medical school, because it is so easy to get completely wrapped up and stressed out, forgetting that you have a life. The key to our success is that I put his tests into my calendar. I hold him accountable for making time with me and our children, but I make no demands of him (nor do I expect much) prior to tests.

 

[cgr8979]

I am a SO of a MS3. I have been with him since his sr. yr in college. I was able to watch some of his classmates end marriage, relationships ect. all before his 3 year. It was difficult to watch. But, I have to agree, if you want the relationship to work, then BOTH parties have to stand strong and be supportive of one another. Being in MS is so stressful and if your in a relationship it makes it that much tougher, but yet that much more rewarding.
My bf often tells me how much he appreciates me taking him away from the stresses of MS. He realizes that I bring to the table sometimes reality, which is sometimes hard when all you think about are exams, reading, and what you have to do from one week to the next.
It will be constant roller coaster, but only you are able to chose which coaster you want to ride. 🙂

 

[Smilemaker100]

ok, this post is the continuation of this previous thread:

is there a common emotional experience in MS1?


For those of you already beyond the first year, i need your pearls of wisdom. Did you notice certain trends or emotional cycles you and your classmates went through during the first year? was there a particular point that everyone flipped out? then became emotional messes? broke up with significant others? became withdrawn? was there a point where people came full circle and figured out how to cope? i know people deal in different ways but i'm just curious if there is a common process everyone goes through when faced with the emotional demands and the time commitment of med school.
thanks
~jessi
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Dear Jessi,

The best advice I can give to you is to prioritize- it is either your academics or your love life. Some can handle both , however, some can only focus on one at a time. It was hard for me, but I focused on the academic aspect of my life because if you invest your time and energy into it, you will get results. But with relationships, it doesn't matter how much time and energy you invest, you never have a guarantee.

There is a time and place for everything. It depends very much on the individual. I don't mean to discourage you but most people I know who were dating in dental/medical school , ended up breaking up. It's challenging enough to get through the program, even more challenging when you have a significant other who can't sympathize with your busy schedule, unless they are also in the program. Now that I am doing a residency and have more "free" time, I feel comfortable investing in a relationship...but those sort of things are unpredictable...you never know when you will meet Mr Right/Miss Right- so if you do meet them while in school, by all means date them ! But try to avoid dating (like many "desparate" people do) "Mr In the Meantime/Miss In the Meantime" because it's a waste of time!

Good Luck! Don't break too many hearts 😉

 

[jessi]

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Dear Jessi,

The best advice I can give to you is to prioritize- it is either your academics or your love life. Some can handle both , however, some can only focus on one at a time. It was hard for me, but I focused on the academic aspect of my life because if you invest your time and energy into it, you will get results. But with relationships, it doesn't matter how much time and energy you invest, you never have a guarantee.

There is a time and place for everything. It depends very much on the individual. I don't mean to discourage you but most people I know who were dating in dental/medical school , ended up breaking up. It's challenging enough to get through the program, even more challenging when you have a significant other who can't sympathize with your busy schedule, unless they are also in the program. Now that I am doing a residency and have more "free" time, I feel comfortable investing in a relationship...but those sort of things are unpredictable...you never know when you will meet Mr Right/Miss Right- so if you do meet them while in school, by all means date them ! But try to avoid dating (like many "desparate" people do) "Mr In the Meantime/Miss In the Meantime" because it's a waste of time!

Good Luck! Don't break too many hearts 😉

thanks for the response smilemaker 🙂 i thought residency would be the most impossible time to try to maintain a relationship. do you really find it would be doable? what kind of residency are u doing?
🙂 jessi

 

[Smilemaker100]

thanks for the response smilemaker 🙂 i thought residency would be the most impossible time to try to maintain a relationship. do you really find it would be doable? what kind of residency are u doing?
🙂 jessi

I am doing a dentistry residency- that is not to say I am not busy but I have more free time than I did in dental school. Medical residency...well that's another story ! I am not presently in a relationship, but I am more comfortable with myself and the course my life is taking so I can handle a relationship better than I did in dental school.