Mental Health Stigma

[calivianya]

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tl;dr - divorce, major depression, wondering if I should suck it up or take meds

I got divorced in May, and I haven't taking it well at all. I didn't want the divorce at all, I wanted to work it out... but I signed the papers anyway because he made it clear he was going to leave regardless if I didn't, so we'd just have to stay married while he abandoned me if I didn't sign. I didn't want to be married to someone living with the other woman and have to think about that every day, so I signed.

Anyway.

I figured the intense crying every day and complete misery was normal for a couple of months. However, today marks the four month mark from my divorce, and I still don't give a crap about anything. At least I'm not crying anymore. I enjoy absolutely nothing. I can't concentrate. I'm lucky if I can convince myself to study for even an hour or two a day, which is obviously woefully insufficient.

I thought about asking for a leave of absence to work this all out in my head. But honestly, I miss working, and I strongly suspect I'd never come back to finish out the degree if I left now. I don't think I could come back to this if I made it out.

OMS 1 was great. I was a straight A student, and now I'm skating on the C line, putting in the bare minimum effort so I don't fail everything. Hell, I have a final in less than 12 hours, and I'm sitting here on this forum instead of studying if that tells you anything. I haven't even read through half of the lecture powerpoints yet, and I sure didn't watch any of them.

I'm pretty sure the anhedonia, the constant fatigue, the complete inability to concentrate, and the fact I'm just still really sad all the time probably qualify for a major depression dx at this point. Some days I only get out of bed to pee and eat, and go right back to bed.

How bad, exactly, is the discrimination in the match process against people who seek help for mental health problems? I've seen a couple of older threads, but nothing recent. I feel like I really need to get on an antidepressant so I can be a functional human again. But, it would be the icing on the cake if my ex not only destroyed the future I'd pictured for us together, but also interfered with my ability to match if I get help for the depression that he sparked. Sort of feel like I just can't win no matter what at this point.

 

[AMEHigh]

Definitely take meds if you need them. I really have no idea of the data but I know lots of residents and doctors on meds and/or in therapy for mental health diagnoses. You do not have to disclose this on residency applications. Your health is the most important thing take care of, I’d make an appt with your doctor ASAP. Good luck!

 

[siliso]

Problems with your academic or clinical performance caused by untreated depression will be a much bigger barrier to your future opportunities than getting mental health treatment ever could be. So get treatment. If you need a leave of absence to get healthy then take it. And I’m so sorry for the betrayal you experienced and the sorrow you are going through. Hang in there.

 

[calivianya]

Definitely take meds if you need them. I really have no idea of the data but I know lots of residents and doctors on meds and/or in therapy for mental health diagnoses. You do not have to disclose this on residency applications. Your health is the most important thing take care of, I’d make an appt with your doctor ASAP. Good luck!

Thanks. I was planning to see if I could get in after this round of finals is over.

Problems with your academic or clinical performance caused by untreated depression will be a much bigger barrier to your future opportunities than getting mental health treatment ever could be. So get treatment. If you need a leave of absence to get healthy then take it. And I’m so sorry for the betrayal you experienced and the sorrow you are going through. Hang in there.

I do agree. So far I don't think this has hurt me; my Cs are right at the class average for most things. I had a >3.9 GPA (only a handful of A- grades, the rest As) from first year, so I felt like I had a pretty safe buffer and I could afford for my grades to drop a bit. I kept hoping I would just continue to get better, and that I'd pull myself back up to where I was when I did. It's just taking longer than expected, and it is going to hurt me if this pattern continues.

Thank you.

 

[BorntobeDO?]

Thanks. I was planning to see if I could get in after this round of finals is over.


I do agree. So far I don't think this has hurt me; my Cs are right at the class average for most things. I had a >3.9 GPA (only a handful of A- grades, the rest As) from first year, so I felt like I had a pretty safe buffer and I could afford for my grades to drop a bit. I kept hoping I would just continue to get better, and that I'd pull myself back up to where I was when I did. It's just taking longer than expected, and it is going to hurt me if this pattern continues.

Thank you.

I am so sorry. I can't imagine how hard this must have been. I absolutely would seek treatment or take a leave if you need to. Any program that wouldn't take you over something like this is the kind of place you don't need to be. Keep the head high, your doing awesome as far as I am concerned.

 

[deleted610572]

1 positive thing is one of ACGMEs main focuses is resident wellness because of all the burn out and suicides. I’m not saying it will ever be a bright part of your application but you could always spin your leave of absence into wellness and what you learned (coping mechanisms and what not) to bring forth with you into residency. This would be a good talking point during residency interviews.

 

[curr4410]

I have Bipolar Disorder and a seizure disorder that I take medication for. I’ve been swinging a little harder and a little more often while adjusting to medical school, and I’ve been very open about it. I also know multiple other students here who openly discuss their bipolar disorder, as well as some with Anxiety, depression, and substance use disorders who are currently medicated or in recovery. Maybe my school is unique in how open people are about it, but I feel like the stigma is steadily decreasing. Before medical school, I was also a psychiatric nurse. I honestly got more stigma there (particularly from the nurses) than I get in medical school. But I’m not going to hide it and am happy to answer questions so that, when people like you have a really hard time and need some help through a certain situation, they won’t feel so alone or like they can’t ask for help.

I really hope you get some medication and therapy on board, it sounds like it is the best route to get your back to you normal level of functioning.

 

[curr4410]

I should add, it’s never hindered my ability to do anything - become a nurse, become an NP, go to programs, or even get into medical school. If a program doesn’t want me purely based on the fact that I take care of myself, take my medication, and advocate for others, they’re not a program I want anything to do with. It’s not a barrier worth keeping you from seeking help. And a medical LOA is something that a lot of people take for many, many reasons. They don’t need to know it’s for mental health if you go that route.

 

[Goro]

tl;dr - divorce, major depression, wondering if I should suck it up or take meds

I got divorced in May, and I haven't taking it well at all. I didn't want the divorce at all, I wanted to work it out... but I signed the papers anyway because he made it clear he was going to leave regardless if I didn't, so we'd just have to stay married while he abandoned me if I didn't sign. I didn't want to be married to someone living with the other woman and have to think about that every day, so I signed.

Anyway.

I figured the intense crying every day and complete misery was normal for a couple of months. However, today marks the four month mark from my divorce, and I still don't give a crap about anything. At least I'm not crying anymore. I enjoy absolutely nothing. I can't concentrate. I'm lucky if I can convince myself to study for even an hour or two a day, which is obviously woefully insufficient.

I thought about asking for a leave of absence to work this all out in my head. But honestly, I miss working, and I strongly suspect I'd never come back to finish out the degree if I left now. I don't think I could come back to this if I made it out.

OMS 1 was great. I was a straight A student, and now I'm skating on the C line, putting in the bare minimum effort so I don't fail everything. Hell, I have a final in less than 12 hours, and I'm sitting here on this forum instead of studying if that tells you anything. I haven't even read through half of the lecture powerpoints yet, and I sure didn't watch any of them.

I'm pretty sure the anhedonia, the constant fatigue, the complete inability to concentrate, and the fact I'm just still really sad all the time probably qualify for a major depression dx at this point. Some days I only get out of bed to pee and eat, and go right back to bed.

How bad, exactly, is the discrimination in the match process against people who seek help for mental health problems? I've seen a couple of older threads, but nothing recent. I feel like I really need to get on an antidepressant so I can be a functional human again. But, it would be the icing on the cake if my ex not only destroyed the future I'd pictured for us together, but also interfered with my ability to match if I get help for the depression that he sparked. Sort of feel like I just can't win no matter what at this point.

If you were peeing blood, would you just "suck it up", or go get professional help?

You're going to have tons of non-compliant patients in your career; don't be one yourself.

 

[deleted610572]

I should add, it’s never hindered my ability to do anything - become a nurse, become an NP, go to programs, or even get into medical school. If a program doesn’t want me purely based on the fact that I take care of myself, take my medication, and advocate for others, they’re not a program I want anything to do with. It’s not a barrier worth keeping you from seeking help. And a medical LOA is something that a lot of people take for many, many reasons. They don’t need to know it’s for mental health if you go that route.

Do you plan on going into psych? I think your outlook is great and would offer psychiatric patients a really supportive doctor that has good insight to their challenges

 

[You shall know the Truth]

Op I’m sorry to hear. I want to encourage you to talk to your school and see if you can get some help/time away. Medication may or may not be the answer and I don’t want to see you drop out because you did not want to seek the help.

 

[Spectreman]

I’m married with kids, can’t even imagine your pain. Very impressed that you’re still making it, but I would take the break if I were you. I personally think it shows maturity that you saw you needed to step away to heal, or at least to reach out and get help with meds/counseling. All the best...

 

[siliso]

I will disclose that I sought and got treatment for a mood disorder during medical school and it posed absolutely no barrier to any future opportunities. No one ever asked. No one has the right to ask about my medical conditions or treatment, unless I’m requesting ADA accommodation or if the condition is causing occupational impairment. Which -with treatment and, if needed, judicious use of leave until stabilized- anxious/depressive disorders don’t have to cause.
At least 1/4 up to 2/4 of medical students have a mood disorder, and very many of them do get treatment and move on with their lives.

 

[deleted610572]

I will disclose that I sought and got treatment for a mood disorder during medical school and it posed absolutely no barrier to any future opportunities. No one ever asked. No one has the right to ask about my medical conditions or treatment, unless I’m requesting ADA accommodation or if the condition is causing occupational impairment. Which -with treatment and, if needed, judicious use of leave until stabilized- anxious/depressive disorders don’t have to cause.
At least 1/4 up to 2/4 of medical students have a mood disorder, and very many of them do get treatment and move on with their lives.

Just curious, where did you get the data about medical students

 

[curr4410]

Do you plan on going into psych? I think your outlook is great and would offer psychiatric patients a really supportive doctor that has good insight to their challenges

Yup! Before this I was a psych nurse, and before that I was a psych specialist with crisis certifications. I also worked as a crisis responder for opiate overdose and mental health crisis response. I do, on occasion, disclose to patients if they’re considering noncompliance because of stigma, but that’s usually when they see me at a NAMI meeting. It shouldn’t hold anyone back if they can treat it. There are some people who remain ill no matter what you do, but even they can learn to cope enough to have some level of independence. I think it’s important kids hear that early. And for people like OP, it’s important to know that no one is OK all of the time, and sometimes you need a little extra help - but I happen to feel recognizing that may be necessary is a huge strength. And I encourage OP to continue being strong and recognize what you need for you right now, and don’t be afraid to ask for it.

 

[calivianya]

Thank you guys so much. I had four finals between when I first posted and now, so it took me a minute to get back. But I appreciate all of you and just wanted to say that I'm currently calling around and trying to find a mental health professional that takes my school insurance. I'm hopeful to find someone soon that I can see reasonably soon. as the school mental health center is booking appointments two months out at this point, and I'd rather get in sooner than that if possible.