Mentioning SO’s job offer as part of “why us?”

[deleted976595]

---

Members do not see this ad.

My long term gf (not engaged but we do plan to get married) recently got her dream job offer in the city that coincidentally houses my dream school that I’m interviewing with soon. Would it be appropriate to cite wanting to stay in the same city as a reason for “why us?” This would be in addition to my laundry list of compelling reasons so I’d hope it wouldn’t come off as the ONLY reason I want to go there, but I’m not sure.

 

[Med Ed]

1. Put a ring on it.
2. SO job/career is one of the few "why us?" reasons that is actually compelling, meaning it's unlikely to be a bald-faced lie.

 

[deleted976595]

1. Put a ring on it.
2. SO job/career is one of the few "why us?" reasons that is actually compelling, meaning it's unlikely to be a bald-faced lie.

1. I’m going to. Just gotta make back the small fortune I’ve spent on the application process first!

2. That’s great. I figured that would be the case but I just didn’t want to come off like I wouldn’t choose them if she didn’t have this offer.

Thanks for the response.

 

[907914]

I’m going to. Just gotta make back the small fortune I’ve spent on the application process first!

Not related to the original question but to this: You can buy a ring and upgrade the diamond later. I started off with a ring with a central quarter karat and two 1/8 (one on either side of the central) . 3 years later surprised her after her “cleaning” by moving the original quarter karat off to the side, replacing the center with a half karat, and got another quarter karat on the side. Turned the 1/8 karat diamonds into earrings.

So, if you go that route, not only do you get a cheaper ring up front, you also have one of your future anniversaries covered! Lol

Edit: or two anniversaries if you wanna save the earrings for later

 

[PieOHmy]

1. Put a ring on it.
2. SO job/career is one of the few "why us?" reasons that is actually compelling, meaning it's unlikely to be a bald-faced lie.

1. Not before her signing a pre-nup

 

[Catalystik]

1. I’m going to. Just gotta make back the small fortune I’ve spent on the application process first!

An engagement doesn't require an expensive ring to become a reality. Or any ring, for that matter. My first one came out of a gumball machine. Literally. We still pull it out once in awhile to demonstrate the advantage of an adjustable band.

 

[ChymeofPassion]

1. Put a ring on it.
2. SO job/career is one of the few "why us?" reasons that is actually compelling, meaning it's unlikely to be a bald-faced lie.

If your SO is working in the city and you are living together but are not married (but dating for 6 years), is this still something you could say? Or is engagement/marriage really paramount.

 

[907914]

If your SO is working in the city and you are living together but are not married (but dating for 6 years), is this still something you could say? Or is engagement/marriage really paramount.

Marriage is required if you want to live in cheaper university housing if it is available and/or if you want your MED school to pay for them to travel with you to away clinicals (for example, UW will pay for family to come with you across the WWAMI region). That is the only time It really matters.

 

[NITRAS]

Many don’t consider it serious unless there’s a ring. I wouldn’t move for a GF, but I’d make career discussions for fiancé/wife.

Lots of people look down up people shacking up, having kids, and buying houses together while not being married.

Why risk it? Granted it’s 2019 and people living together outside of marriage is more common than ever.

 

[Tenk]

1. Not before her signing a pre-nup

That’s marriage. Not engagement.

 

[ChymeofPassion]

Many don’t consider it serious unless there’s a ring. I wouldn’t move for a GF, but I’d make career discussions for fiancé/wife.

Lots of people look down up people shacking up, having kids, and buying houses together while not being married.

Why risk it? Granted it’s 2019 and people living together outside of marriage is more common than ever.

True. I think my generation in particular has become particularly disillusioned with marriage as a concept.

 

[beattheprocess]

40 for $15 on Amazon

 

[Jeremy Bearimy]

40 for $15 on Amazon

Now that's a deal. Not engaged, but brb boutta go buy 40 ringpops for myself

 

[Med Ed]

If your SO is working in the city and you are living together but are not married (but dating for 6 years), is this still something you could say? Or is engagement/marriage really paramount.

Nowadays you could say "partner" and likely deflect further scrutiny.

The simple fact is that people understand the role of a spouse in making serious life decisions. The role of a SO/boyfriend/girlfriend is far less certain.

I would not divulge that you have dated someone for 6 years and live together without at least nailing down a domestic partnership. It just makes you look phobic about long-term commitment.

 

[gyngyn]

I don't give relationship advice.
Nor do I attempt to understand them.

 

[907914]

I don't give relationship advice.
Nor do I attempt to understand them.

@gyngyn doesn’t need human affection. All he needs is cats.

 

[beattheprocess]

I don't give relationship advice.
Nor do I attempt to understand them.

 

[gyngyn]

nice tune.

 

[ChymeofPassion]

Nowadays you could say "partner" and likely deflect further scrutiny.

The simple fact is that people understand the role of a spouse in making serious life decisions. The role of a SO/boyfriend/girlfriend is far less certain.

I would not divulge that you have dated someone for 6 years and live together without at least nailing down a domestic partnership. It just makes you look phobic about long-term commitment.

Not that you should care or that it matters, but we started dating at 16 and JUST started living together after graduating college. Given this it may seem more appropriate that a domestic partnership or marriage isn't warranted. I'll stick to "partner", if it ever comes up.

 

[imbesrs]

he

TIL gyngyn is male lol

 

[907914]

TIL gyngyn was male lol

Took me 2 years to figure it out. Gotta spread the love, my guy.

 

[mwsapphire]

Took me 2 years to figure it out. Gotta spread the love, my guy.

Did you lurk before making an account? I actually noticed you haven't been on here for 2 whole years.

 

[907914]

Did you lurk before making an account? I actually noticed you haven't been on here for 2 whole years.

Oh hey, I haven’t.

Took me...19 (?) months to figure it out. Gotta spread the love, my guy.

2 years is a helluva lot easier to say than doing the (admittedly very basic) math.

 

[Med Ed]

Not that you should care or that it matters, but we started dating at 16 and JUST started living together after graduating college.

I hear Johnny Burnette wafting faintly in the background...

 

[ChymeofPassion]

I hear Johnny Burnette wafting faintly in the background...

Hoping to avoid Scenes from an Italian Restaurant by Billy Joel...