Moral support needed...

[docsgirl1718]

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Hello! So I live in the Chicago area and my bf of almost 5 yrs just started school in Grenada. I am having a horrible time transitioning and was wondering what other people in my situation have done.

Im so used to having 2 incomes and now I just have one, and I have to work every single day just to barely make ends meet. I really dont think I can do this for several yrs.

I have 3 dogs, one of which is dying from stomach cancer. It is untreatable and now we are treating any symptoms he has, which arent any right now, thanks GOD. Its like if you have kids and are used to having an extra pair of hands around to help and now you are on your own.

How does everyone handle it? How do you handle the stress? I dont want to keep complaining to my bf because there really is nothing he can do and has enough stress as it is. I know he feels like he's been pulled from his family because he's said that to me before.

Any advice would be SOOO welcomed. I would love to talk with people who share my frustrations. Thanks!!

 

[xanthines]

Yikes! Sounds like you have a lot on your plate to deal with right now.

Are you working 7 days a week? I've done that before so I know it's tough. Perhaps the BF can take out an extra student loan to send back to you? Can family (his or yours) help out? If you can, it might be a good idea to start looking for job that pays better or has better hours. I'll take two jobs across 6 days a week over 1 that goes across all 7!

I'm not 100% sure on this, but I think he'll be able to come back to the states after his second year. I'm sure that will help.

Unfortunately, the facts of reality are that you and he are going to be spending a lot less time together so you'll need to build up your networks of friends, support etc. I know being a couple tends to put you in a place where you don't need friends as much, so it's easy to feel pretty alone when you're first apart.

I don't think I have any useful advice other than try to call and email as much as you can without smothering him.

Best of luck! Both you and he are in for some rough times, but you'll make it through OK if put in the work.

-X

Hello! So I live in the Chicago area and my bf of almost 5 yrs just started school in Grenada. I am having a horrible time transitioning and was wondering what other people in my situation have done.

Im so used to having 2 incomes and now I just have one, and I have to work every single day just to barely make ends meet. I really dont think I can do this for several yrs.

I have 3 dogs, one of which is dying from stomach cancer. It is untreatable and now we are treating any symptoms he has, which arent any right now, thanks GOD. Its like if you have kids and are used to having an extra pair of hands around to help and now you are on your own.

How does everyone handle it? How do you handle the stress? I dont want to keep complaining to my bf because there really is nothing he can do and has enough stress as it is. I know he feels like he's been pulled from his family because he's said that to me before.

Any advice would be SOOO welcomed. I would love to talk with people who share my frustrations. Thanks!!

 

[tinkerchick]

I am in the same situation. My husband chose med school and I am now working 7 days a week and I have lost my best friend aka my husband..and I have no one else...this sucks! You meet someone, get married, and then they expect to be at there side and not to complain..b/c then its a burden to them..what do they expect..we need someone too! I know this is important to my husband, yet why isnt what is important to us..important to them???

 

[TMZ2007]

Hello! So I live in the Chicago area and my bf of almost 5 yrs just started school in Grenada. I am having a horrible time transitioning and was wondering what other people in my situation have done.

Im so used to having 2 incomes and now I just have one, and I have to work every single day just to barely make ends meet. I really dont think I can do this for several yrs.

I have 3 dogs, one of which is dying from stomach cancer. It is untreatable and now we are treating any symptoms he has, which arent any right now, thanks GOD. Its like if you have kids and are used to having an extra pair of hands around to help and now you are on your own.

How does everyone handle it? How do you handle the stress? I dont want to keep complaining to my bf because there really is nothing he can do and has enough stress as it is. I know he feels like he's been pulled from his family because he's said that to me before.

Any advice would be SOOO welcomed. I would love to talk with people who share my frustrations. Thanks!!

Have you considered moving to Grenada? I know with your dog being sick now is not the time, but maybe next semester or the summer '08 semester?

 

[docsgirl1718]

Have you considered moving to Grenada? I know with your dog being sick now is not the time, but maybe next semester or the summer '08 semester?

I would absolutely LOVE to move to Grenada, but it is financially impossible. I just bought a house and got a new job that I really like (in an ER), plus, I have the 3 dogs and 1 guinea pig! I just have too many responsibilities up here right now.

It just totally sucks when you've been with someone almost 5 yrs and you've never been apart like this!!! The longest we've been apart was about 4 months when we were broken up for a bit, but we still worked together and saw each other all the time, so it wasn't like we were really apart.

 

[Neuronix]

I would absolutely LOVE to move to Grenada, but it is financially impossible. I just bought a house and got a new job that I really like (in an ER), plus, I have the 3 dogs and 1 guinea pig! I just have too many responsibilities up here right now.

Ughhh you work every day to support all that? You must be miserable. Have you throught about trying to offload all the debt and responsibility? Even if it's at a loss monetarily it will probably be at a gain to your sanity.

It just totally sucks when you've been with someone almost 5 yrs and you've never been apart like this!!! The longest we've been apart was about 4 months when we were broken up for a bit, but we still worked together and saw each other all the time, so it wasn't like we were really apart.

So keep in mind he will be away from you for 4 years or more. Who knows where he'll have to go for residency. You should start making plans now that you'll have to move at least once for this guy, as at least once is very likely. Is it worth staying in the relationship?

As a general statement, it's interesting how many of the problems in this forum are caused by people owning property and having pets and that acts a ball and chain that keeps them from their partner. All I can think is that if you're unmarried and you don't have kids... Why pick up the ball and chain?

 

[TMZ2007]

So sorry to hear that moving down the Caribbean isn't an option for you. Next question... how long will he be down there? is it 2 years or less than? At our school we have clinical rotations in Chicago. Does SGU also have the same clinical rotations there in Chicago??

What I am thinking is if you can just hang on for the next couple of years while he is in Granada he might be able to come right back home after the island and do a majority of his rotations there. If he were at our school he would be gone 20 months and would definitely be able to do all but 6 months of the 3rd and 4th year in Chicago. Of the 4 years of med school nearly half of it could be spent back living at home! And he could do the 6 months away in Ohio, Baltimore, CT, Alabama, or NYC. But that’s our school…… and for once I would say that makes our school cool. LOL!

Unfortunately being the SO of a med student is all about counting down to the next mile marker in the road to that MD.

 

[docsgirl1718]

Ughhh you work every day to support all that? You must be miserable. Have you throught about trying to offload all the debt and responsibility? Even if it's at a loss monetarily it will probably be at a gain to your sanity.

It does suck, hence the "moral supprt needed". Where would I offload my debt to? With the housing market the way it is right now, I would never sell my house and would DEF not get what I paid for it even if I did.

So keep in mind he will be away from you for 4 years or more. Who knows where he'll have to go for residency. You should start making plans now that you'll have to move at least once for this guy, as at least once is very likely. Is it worth staying in the relationship?

He will be down there for 2 yrs. Don't know where after that, but that is something that will be dealt with when that time arrives. I have no problem moving if I have to, I just am not going to move down to grenada. That would not be the responsible thing to do. Yes, it is definately worth staying in the relationship.

As a general statement, it's interesting how many of the problems in this forum are caused by people owning property and having pets and that acts a ball and chain that keeps them from their partner. All I can think is that if you're unmarried and you don't have kids... Why pick up the ball and chain?

I dont consider a house and pets a "ball and chain", I would consider it part of being an adult. Our pets are our children, because we want to get married before having human ones. Just because we aren't married right now does not mean that we wont be 2 yrs from now, and it also does not mean that the relationship isn't worth working for.