Mother Just sent a letter of reccomendation to a school I am waitlisted on without my knowledge

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Future Heme/Onc 45

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Hey everyone, I am kinda freaking out right now. I was talking to my mom earlier today, and she informed me that she sent a letter of reccomendation to a medical school I am currently waitlisted as... I had no idea this was sent, and apparently they added it to my file. (I specifically told her NOT to do this because of how unprofessional it is). The waitlist at this school claims to be "statically ranked" but they accept updates/ letters of intent. She is an alumni at this school, and I know shes just trying to help, but my God wtf...

What should I do? Should I just pretend to not know anything happened? should I email the school telling them to remove the letter?
 
😆🤣

Call them up and explain that she was never authorized to write a letter on your behalf, maybe they'll take it out of your file. Good chance the adcoms haven't read it yet.

Don't mention its from your mother just say "so and so..."
 
oh no...

original.gif
 
Did you mother write the letter herself? You can ask them to remove it as you didn't authorize it, but who knows if they actually will or not. I would also sit down with your mom and talk about why this is a bad idea and only hurting you more than helping you.

In the future I would decrease the amount of information you give to your mom as this sort of helicoptering will only continue to hurt you.
 
Wow. Call the school and ask them to remove the letter from your file. Also make sure your mom doesn't have access to any of your accounts. Who knows what she might do next.
 
I'm picturing a 1950's sitcom mom walking in to the admissions office with letter in hand and a basket of homemade muffins.

I feel you OP, this is pretty mortifying. On the plus side, if you didn't know it before, now you know your mom reeeeeeeally cares about you.
 
We have a few of these every year. At least she didn't write all your essays and submit them (this happened last year).
There is no good way to deal with it, but you may as well see if you can get it removed. If you are lucky, the staff will delete it without letting the committee know...
 
Thank you all! I am just extremely embarrassed and shocked lol.... I also see the humor in it, but my God why me?!?!?
 
gyngyn said:
We have a few of these every year. At least she didn't write all your essays and submit them (this happened last year).
There is no good way to deal with it, but you may as well see if you can get it removed. If you are lucky, the staff will delete it without letting the committee know...
Click to expand...

WOWOWOWWW how did the truth come out?!
 
fourandtwo said:
WOWOWOWWW how did the truth come out?!
Click to expand...
The student discovered that her mom had accessed the computer when she failed to shut it down.
She contacted AMCAS for another application.
She then contacted each individual school asking for the opportunity to send in an application outside of AMCAS.
 
gyngyn said:
The student discovered that her mom had accessed the computer when she failed to shut it down.
She contacted AMCAS for another application.
She then contacted each individual school asking for the opportunity to send in an application outside of AMCAS.
Click to expand...

That is..A LOT of work!!! Both on the mother's part and the daughter's part. Bless them, I hope they're still on speaking terms.
 
Call the school and explain the situation. She does not speak for you!
 
I have one of those lovely Jewish helicopter moms. And I know that about her. So I lock my computer, I don't share passwords, I don't share names. You've got to know your parents. Not saying this is your fault - I'm just saying share nothing. And at this point, you need to make sure she understands why this was wrong. You don't want this to be a recurring theme.
 
I'm so sorry for you. I know how it is having a mother that does things like that. One time my mother called my supervisor at work to ask if I could have the day off to study for a midterm, without my knowledge. She just googled the phone number to the place I work and called in.

After addressing the problem with the admissions committee, you'll really need to have a conversation with your mother and let her know that you're an adult, and if she continues to act on knowledge that you give her, you'll be forced to stop giving her information about things.
 
chaim123 said:
You don't want this to be a recurring theme.
Click to expand...

Scenario: During residency application.

Dear Dr. Attending:

I would like to write this letter of evaluation for Future Heme/Onc 45 as a part of his/her application for a position in your prestigious [insert specialty] program. I highly recommend that you seriously consider Future Heme/Onc 45's application because he/she will be the bestest resident that you will ever have.

Future Heme/Onc 45 has always shown a level of maturity, responsibility and respect in all aspects of his/her life. He/she has excelled in his/her studies resulting in being in the top quartile of their Pre-K, kindergarten, elementary, junior high, high school, college, and medical school class. Once when Future Heme/Onc 45 was 10 years old, he/she saved a baby bird from near death after it was abandoned by its mother. Future Heme/Onc 45 nursed and cared for "Little Jimmy" until it was grown and happily released him into the wild. It is with this same compassion and empathy that I believe Future Heme/Onc 45 will bring to his/her role as super duper resident to the patients of your hospital.

I can not stress how much joy Future Heme/Onc 45 has brought to me as his mom, and I am sure that he/she will show you and your patients that same kind of respect and kindness. If you need additional information to help alleviate any concerns you might have regarding Future Heme/Onc 45's application, please do not hesitate to contact me at my email: [email protected].

Warmest Regards,

Future Heme/Onc 45's Mom.
 
Hello, surgical tech student here, so I never had to apply to med schools like you all do. Forgive my ignorance, but why is it bad to have the letter sent? Because it is from your mother? I do recall letters of rec should be from non-family and friends.. hm.
 
surgicaltech010501 said:
Hello, surgical tech student here, so I never had to apply to med schools like you all do. Forgive my ignorance, but why is it bad to have the letter sent? Because it is from your mother? I do recall letters of rec should be from non-family and friends.. hm.
Click to expand...

Family and friends are not appropriate letters of recommendation. Furthermore, it has the ability to annoy the committee, and could be seen as unprofessional if they think you had something to do with it.
 
Yo, this is bad, but I think I can do you one better..

So earlier in the cycle, my mom freaking called HARVARD'S ADMISSIONS OFFICE because she saw on the news that Harvard hired someone she didn't like?? She proceeds to tell them that other great schools have shown interest in her son (she meant I received secondaries at this point lol) and that her son will be staying in the south for medical school. Yes, she called Harvard and pretty much told them her son is too good for them... unbelievable stuff.

I would've normally been furious, but it was Harvard, so I knew I did not have a shot to begin with. She is out of control
 
Last edited:
surgicaltech010501 said:
Hello, surgical tech student here, so I never had to apply to med schools like you all do. Forgive my ignorance, but why is it bad to have the letter sent? Because it is from your mother? I do recall letters of rec should be from non-family and friends.. hm.
Click to expand...
Because the last thing you want a medical school admissions committee thinkin is “this kid can’t do anything without their mom looking over their shoulder.”
 
MysteriousDoge said:
Yo, this is bad, but I think I can do you one better..

So earlier in the cycle, my mom freaking called HARVARD'S ADMISSIONS OFFICE because she saw that Harvard hired someone she didn't like?? She proceeds to tell them that other great schools have shown interest in her son (she meant I received secondaries at this point lol) and that her son will be staying in the south for medical school. Yes, she called Harvard and pretty much told them her son is too good for them... unbelievable stuff.

I would've normally been furious, but it was Harvard, so I knew I did not have a shot to begin with. She is out of control
Click to expand...

I'M IN TEARS. Oh my word.
 
DV-T said:
Scenario: During residency application.

Dear Dr. Attending:

I would like to write this letter of evaluation for Future Heme/Onc 45 as a part of his/her application for a position in your prestigious [insert specialty] program. I highly recommend that you seriously consider Future Heme/Onc 45's application because he/she will be the bestest resident that you will ever have.

Future Heme/Onc 45 has always shown a level of maturity, responsibility and respect in all aspects of his/her life. He/she has excelled in his/her studies resulting in being in the top quartile of their Pre-K, kindergarten, elementary, junior high, high school, college, and medical school class. Once when Future Heme/Onc 45 was 10 years old, he/she saved a baby bird from near death after it was abandoned by its mother. Future Heme/Onc 45 nursed and cared for "Little Jimmy" until it was grown and happily released him into the wild. It is with this same compassion and empathy that I believe Future Heme/Onc 45 will bring to his/her role as super duper resident to the patients of your hospital.

I can not stress how much joy Future Heme/Onc 45 has brought to me as his mom, and I am sure that he/she will show you and your patients that same kind of respect and kindness. If you need additional information to help alleviate any concerns you might have regarding Future Heme/Onc 45's application, please do not hesitate to contact me at my email: [email protected].

Warmest Regards,

Future Heme/Onc 45's Mom.
Click to expand...
Duuuude whaddya mean “[insert specialty]” it’s in the OP’s name haha
 
DV-T said:
Scenario: During residency application.

Dear Dr. Attending:

I would like to write this letter of evaluation for Future Heme/Onc 45 as a part of his/her application for a position in your prestigious [insert specialty] program. I highly recommend that you seriously consider Future Heme/Onc 45's application because he/she will be the bestest resident that you will ever have.

Future Heme/Onc 45 has always shown a level of maturity, responsibility and respect in all aspects of his/her life. He/she has excelled in his/her studies resulting in being in the top quartile of their Pre-K, kindergarten, elementary, junior high, high school, college, and medical school class. Once when Future Heme/Onc 45 was 10 years old, he/she saved a baby bird from near death after it was abandoned by its mother. Future Heme/Onc 45 nursed and cared for "Little Jimmy" until it was grown and happily released him into the wild. It is with this same compassion and empathy that I believe Future Heme/Onc 45 will bring to his/her role as super duper resident to the patients of your hospital.

I can not stress how much joy Future Heme/Onc 45 has brought to me as his mom, and I am sure that he/she will show you and your patients that same kind of respect and kindness. If you need additional information to help alleviate any concerns you might have regarding Future Heme/Onc 45's application, please do not hesitate to contact me at my email: [email protected].

Warmest Regards,

Future Heme/Onc 45's Mom.
Click to expand...

As a variation of this, I once had an interviewee who was an older mom, who had her 12 year old son write her a LOR. Apparently, her reasoning was that because she was a good mom, she would be a good doctor.

I am NOT making this up.

Result: reject.
 
Goro said:
As a variation of this, I once had an interviewee who was an older mom, who had her 12 year old son write her a LOR. Apparently, her reasoning was that because she was a good mom, she would be a good doctor.

I am NOT making this up.

Result: reject.
Click to expand...

🤣
 
Goro said:
As a variation of this, I once had an interviewee who was an older mom, who had her 12 year old son write her a LOR. Apparently, her reasoning was that because she was a good mom, she would be a good doctor.

I am NOT making this up.

Result: reject.
Click to expand...
Was it an actual letter written by her 12 year old or was it a letter written by her from the perspective of her 12 year old?

I'm honestly not sure which one would be worse.
 
gyngyn said:
The student discovered that her mom had accessed the computer when she failed to shut it down.
She contacted AMCAS for another application.
She then contacted each individual school asking for the opportunity to send in an application outside of AMCAS.
Click to expand...

So any idea what ended up happening to her? Honestly if she went through all that trouble and was that straight forward with every school she applied to I'd actually see that as a pretty big plus and going to her maturity and responsibility...

surgicaltech010501 said:
Hello, surgical tech student here, so I never had to apply to med schools like you all do. Forgive my ignorance, but why is it bad to have the letter sent? Because it is from your mother? I do recall letters of rec should be from non-family and friends.. hm.
Click to expand...

Already said but there's so many red flags with stuff like this. Can the OP do anything independently? Is the OP mature enough to survive med school? Is mom going to be calling the school to check in/complain when something doesn't go right for OP? Just so many possible headaches for the school that it's better to just not give off that kind of vibe at all.

MysteriousDoge said:
Yo, this is bad, but I think I can do you one better..

So earlier in the cycle, my mom freaking called HARVARD'S ADMISSIONS OFFICE because she saw on the news that Harvard hired someone she didn't like?? She proceeds to tell them that other great schools have shown interest in her son (she meant I received secondaries at this point lol) and that her son will be staying in the south for medical school. Yes, she called Harvard and pretty much told them her son is too good for them... unbelievable stuff.

I would've normally been furious, but it was Harvard, so I knew I did not have a shot to begin with. She is out of control
Click to expand...
Goro said:
As a variation of this, I once had an interviewee who was an older mom, who had her 12 year old son write her a LOR. Apparently, her reasoning was that because she was a good mom, she would be a good doctor.

I am NOT making this up.

Result: reject.
Click to expand...

Dear lord, where do these people come from? Are they really that oblivious to the damage they're doing to their family or themselves? Smdh...

FlavivirusProtease said:
Was it an actual letter written by her 12 year old or was it a letter written by her from the perspective of her 12 year old?

I'm honestly not sure which one would be worse.
Click to expand...

The bolded is definitely worse. If she has her kid write a letter it says she's an oblivious ***** who may be trying to manipulate or get sympathy. The bolded is straight up fraud.
 
Stagg737 said:
So any idea what ended up happening to her? Honestly if she went through all that trouble and was that straight forward with every school she applied to I'd actually see that as a pretty big plus and going to her maturity and responsibility...
Click to expand...
I do not know what became of her. She was an emotional wreck, though, poor thing.
 
Pathdocmd said:
Could be worse... a parent could page the Dean of Admissions for an impromptu chat about their child's application.
Click to expand...

I thought extremely wealthy alumni who donate to the school get these kinds of privileges under the table anyway...
 
tekkenman11 said:
I thought extremely wealthy alumni who donate to the school get these kinds of privileges under the table anyway...
Click to expand...
I would like to meet some of these people. Maybe they will give me some money for scholarships.

Trust me... the last thing that would impress our committee is some fat cat trying to pressure them and I make sure they don't hear about it.
 
Pathdocmd said:
I would like to meet some of these people. Maybe they will give me some money for scholarships.

Trust me... the last thing that would impress our committee is some fat cat trying to pressure them and I make sure they don't hear about it.
Click to expand...

So legacy isn’t a thing in medical school admissions?
 
Future Heme/Onc 45 said:
Hey everyone, I am kinda freaking out right now. I was talking to my mom earlier today, and she informed me that she sent a letter of reccomendation to a medical school I am currently waitlisted as... I had no idea this was sent, and apparently they added it to my file. (I specifically told her NOT to do this because of how unprofessional it is). The waitlist at this school claims to be "statically ranked" but they accept updates/ letters of intent. She is an alumni at this school, and I know shes just trying to help, but my God wtf...

What should I do? Should I just pretend to not know anything happened? should I email the school telling them to remove the letter?
Click to expand...

I'm so sorry this is happening to you but this is hilarious!
 
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