Motivation problems

[Jorje286]

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This is sort of a ranting post, so be warned.

I just started med II, and I'm still confused whether I should keep on committing myself to the med path. I sort of enjoy studying medicine, it isn't too bad, but I discovered a passion in the summer for math, and I can easily leave now and get accepted for a PhD in computational neuroscience. I am just disappointed with the level of intellectual enjoyment in medicine. I try to devote 1 hour a day for math, but I'm not sure that will still be doable in the long run. It just seems to me that medicine is about creating glorified technicians that can work non-stop like machines, intellectual curiosity be damned. Am I wrong in these assumptions? I miss creative thinking and pondering about a certain issue, and medicine is more about making quick decisions from information you rehearsed rather than actually delving into something and coming up with something novel.

I also hardly get along with any of my class-mates. I can't have an intellectual discussion with anyone - is this generally true for all med students or just happened in my own med school (which tends to accept younger applicants)? Most of them are only fixated on competition and then making a path to make money. The environment is not appealing to me, and I don't know if that is generalizable in US residencies.

Yes, I warned it's a ranting post, but I appreciate any opinion or feedback.

 

[ccmonopolies]

This is sort of a ranting post, so be warned.

I just started med II, and I'm still confused whether I should keep on committing myself to the med path. I sort of enjoy studying medicine, it isn't too bad, but I discovered a passion in the summer for math, and I can easily leave now and get accepted for a PhD in computational neuroscience. I am just disappointed with the level of intellectual enjoyment in medicine. I try to devote 1 hour a day for math, but I'm not sure that will still be doable in the long run. It just seems to me that medicine is about creating glorified technicians that can work non-stop like machines, intellectual curiosity be damned. Am I wrong in these assumptions? I miss creative thinking and pondering about a certain issue, and medicine is more about making quick decisions from information you rehearsed rather than actually delving into something and coming up with something novel.

I also hardly get along with any of my class-mates. I can't have an intellectual discussion with anyone - is this generally true for all med students or just happened in my own med school (which tends to accept younger applicants)? Most of them are only fixated on competition and then making a path to make money. The environment is not appealing to me, and I don't know if that is generalizable in US residencies.

Yes, I warned it's a ranting post, but I appreciate any opinion or feedback.

I also have other interests besides medicine. I do agree that at least 90% of my classmates are gun-ho about learning medicine. Mostly this is because they see medicine as some sort of "holy omg it is the best thing ever".

Your frustration may be due to the fact that you dislike having to work hard in medicine. I look at medicine with the attitude that if I get through this and jump through the hoops, I'll for sure start to get some income when I start residency.

Unless you plan on depending on your parents to support you, do you know you will be able to support yourself after you finish your PhD in computational neuroscience or even without it?

I know it is easier to work hard at something that you truly enjoy, but can you put food on the table with your passion?

I've decided to do a short residency, then work part time to pursue my other interests. Just my 2 cents.

 

[thepoopologist]

You're not at a point where creative thinking is employed, you still have 1 year of being a memorizing machine, but by the time you reach 3rd year you'll have another year of debt under you.

It's not always quick decisions from rehearsed information.

 

[Marcus Brody]

I don't know why everyone is always so hell-bent on talking people into staying. Sure, gtfo while you still can. You sound judgmental and self-absorbed with your daily "math" sessions. Perfect PhD material. And if all it takes is a few weeks of MS2 to bring you to this point, things are going to get much, much worse.

 

[OPPforlife]

I don't know why everyone is always so hell-bent on talking people into staying. Sure, gtfo while you still can. You sound judgmental and self-absorbed with your daily "math" sessions. Perfect PhD material. And if all it takes is a few weeks of MS2 to bring you to this point, things are going to get much, much worse.

👍👍
Listen to this guy. For real. We might end up "glorified technicians" but we legit have boners about this stuff. Since you don't, find some thing else to do.

 

[Fleur de Me]

👍👍
Listen to this guy. For real. We might end up "glorified technicians" but we legit have boners about this stuff. Since you don't, find some thing else to do.

I agree- I know two people who figured this out after starting med school, and both are SUPER happy they departed from the path when they did- they love their "other interest" much more.

If you love math and don't feel passionate about med school, it's OK- in fact, I think you're a much braver/better person for calling it quits and doing what you love than if you stuck it out just for the sake of it.

 

[MediCynical]

You're not at a point where creative thinking is employed, you still have 1 year of being a memorizing machine, but by the time you reach 3rd year you'll have another year of debt under you.

It's not always quick decisions from rehearsed information.

This. M1/M2 are about acquiring the necessary tools for the critical thinking involved in medicine.

If you do pursue a PhD in Computational Neuroscience, perhaps you'll be thinking similar things while revising your 47th copy of a manuscript... only you'll be living on a $29k stipend and realize that you could have been well into an intellectually stimulating residency by that point

 

[Jorje286]

I also have other interests besides medicine. I do agree that at least 90% of my classmates are gun-ho about learning medicine. Mostly this is because they see medicine as some sort of "holy omg it is the best thing ever".

Your frustration may be due to the fact that you dislike having to work hard in medicine. I look at medicine with the attitude that if I get through this and jump through the hoops, I'll for sure start to get some income when I start residency.

Unless you plan on depending on your parents to support you, do you know you will be able to support yourself after you finish your PhD in computational neuroscience or even without it?

I know it is easier to work hard at something that you truly enjoy, but can you put food on the table with your passion?

I've decided to do a short residency, then work part time to pursue my other interests. Just my 2 cents.

Thanks for the post. That's the thing. It's the "sense vs sensibility" debate. A career in science will screw me financially and quality-of-life way. It's not the fact that medicine makes one earn a lot more money, but it's more the fact if I end up choosing a PhD in theoretical neuroscience I'll be living on peanuts, sharing an apartment, probably no car up into my early 30s and it won't get better with a postdoc and a salary of 45k + no job security and fighting like hell to secure an academic position.

It's a painful concession either way. I know we don't get what we all want in life, but that's a lot of sacrifice on both sides. I have thought about a career in academic medicine as an intermediate, but I'm unsure how feasible it is to build a research profile in theoretical neuroscience after residency.

You're not at a point where creative thinking is employed, you still have 1 year of being a memorizing machine, but by the time you reach 3rd year you'll have another year of debt under you.

It's not always quick decisions from rehearsed information.

Yes, that's what I've also been told numerous times. But I'm more worried later down the career path, than in the period of my training. I could be exaggerating but I am worried about day to day work that does not involve a lot of intellectual stimulation.

I don't know why everyone is always so hell-bent on talking people into staying. Sure, gtfo while you still can. You sound judgmental and self-absorbed with your daily "math" sessions. Perfect PhD material. And if all it takes is a few weeks of MS2 to bring you to this point, things are going to get much, much worse.

First of all, there's a lot of irony in that post. I can take criticism, but I'm being judgmental and self-centered for liking "math"? Seriously?

The workload per se in med II isn't what's scaring. I'm enjoying med II more than med I, and I'm actually quite excited for Step I, but I feel I have an other passion, more natural to me, but it will involve painful concessions. It's not an easy thing to handle.

 

[ccmonopolies]

Thanks for the post. That's the thing. It's the "sense vs sensibility" debate. A career in science will screw me financially and quality-of-life way. It's not the fact that medicine makes one earn a lot more money, but it's more the fact if I end up choosing a PhD in theoretical neuroscience I'll be living on peanuts, sharing an apartment, probably no car up into my early 30s and it won't get better with a postdoc and a salary of 45k + no job security and fighting like hell to secure an academic position.

It's a painful concession either way. I know we don't get what we all want in life, but that's a lot of sacrifice on both sides. I have thought about a career in academic medicine as an intermediate, but I'm unsure how feasible it is to build a research profile in theoretical neuroscience after residency.



Yes, that's what I've also been told numerous times. But I'm more worried later down the career path, than in the period of my training. I could be exaggerating but I am worried about day to day work that does not involve a lot of intellectual stimulation.



First of all, there's a lot of irony in that post. I can take criticism, but I'm being judgmental and self-centered for liking "math"? Seriously?

The workload per se in med II isn't what's scaring. I'm enjoying med II more than med I, and I'm actually quite excited for Step I, but I feel I have an other passion, more natural to me, but it will involve painful concessions. It's not an easy thing to handle.

Does your school have a MD/PhD program? You might consider doing that if you are really into research. You can get your education paid for. You could do a residence in neurology and then apply for an academic position with time set aside for research. You may also not even need to do a residency if you do a MD/PhD, but you lose the safety aspect that doing a residency gives you. After finishing your MD/PhD you could eventually spend all of your time doing research. There are plenty of MD/PhDs who run their own labs and work on interesting problems day in and day out. They just need to tailor their studies so that they get funding. There are also plenty of MD only people who are full time researchers, but they tend to be older guys/gals because MD/PhD programs weren't as prevalent a few decades ago as they are now.

Best of luck.