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MS0's fear of the unknown

Discussion in 'Medical Students - MD' started by ViergeEnnuyeuse, May 5, 2007.

  1. ViergeEnnuyeuse

    ViergeEnnuyeuse 5+ Year Member

    Dec 6, 2004
    It's pretty sad that I'm already depressed about medical school yet it hasn't even started. I'll be starting in August and unlike most of my future fellow classmates, I'm not as enthusiastic about it. All I've heard are horror stories and more horror stories of what medical school does to you and it's messing with my psyche so that's all I can focus on, the bad. I think that it's just the whole fear of the unknown or at least that's all I hope it is.

    I know I have the capacity to succeed in medical school, but now I'm beginning to worry about all that I'm going to have to sacrifice in order to survive. I'm mostly worried about my marriage, which has top priority over anything in my life. I want to make sure that I have enough time to dedicate myself to that, too. College was really boring for me because I had way too much free time and I'm hoping that I'll at least still have some time in med school to at least breathe and spend some time with my husband. But judging from things I read here, it seems like I'll have zero time.

    Please someone help me from pulling out my hair before medical school even begins!
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  3. Law2Doc

    Law2Doc 5K+ Member Physician Moderator Emeritus 10+ Year Member

    Dec 20, 2004
    There are lots of married people who make it through med school with marriages intact. You have a decent amount of free time during the first, second and fourth years unless you are (1) gunning for top grades for an ultracompetitive field, or (2) struggling. You won't know if you fit into this latter, not so small, category until you start. Most people in med school find an hour or two each day (not proximate to exams) to work out, watch TV or goof off, so you just need to arrange your study schedule to enjoy that time with your husband. Eat dinner together, make a date night each week, and do what you can to get your work done in time for those fixed obligations.

    However you will certainly not have a lot of free time compared to college (yes, there are folks who are exceptions, and folks who worked way too hard in college, but we are not talking about them). So long as your spouse understands and accepts your time limitations, and has his own friends and work things going on, you will be fine. If he depends on you for all social avenues, it's going to be a struggle.
  4. Kimmer

    Kimmer Member 10+ Year Member

    Don't take SDN too seriously on the whole will-I-have-time-to-live contraversy. A lot of people "study" all day by spending all day in the library messing around on SDN, Facebook, talking to classmates, doing snack runs, and then actually doing a little work and then saying they put in a 16 hour day. There are a few obsessive people who actually do seem to study every waking moment but they are a small minority who need therapy IMHO. The people who say they don't have time to date and no energy to give to another person are also the people who have been finding excuses to not put themselves out there their whole lives.
    If you have a lot to do you just have to focus when you sit down to work. And it is easier to focus when you have a set amount of time to work on something and set (realistic) goals. I am a third year and met my live-in-boyfriend during medical school. We have time for eachother. Not all the time we want sometimes but then spend WAY too much time together at other times! :scared: (me) :rolleyes: (him)
    Good luck!
  5. ut2010

    ut2010 Medical Student 2+ Year Member

    Apr 11, 2007
    I also heard horror stories but I realized that alot of that depends on a person's background.

    I had several difficulties and challenges to overcome in my life so I know medical school could not be worse than some of the things I had already faced.

    Med school is good, bad, frustrating, exciting and everything in between but I am loving it :love:

    It is a great feeling to push yourself to your limits and see how you do. And will be able to make a difference in people's lives in the end. How cool is that? :thumbup:
  6. jdh71

    jdh71 epiphany at nine thousand six hundred feet Physician 10+ Year Member

    Dec 14, 2006
    FEMA Camp, USA
    You'll have lots of time first two years. Those spending all day every day on medical school are gunning for tops grades or really, really struggling. I honestly didn't study much until around test time, then I would probably actually put in real full days. Think about it like this, before, you had to go to school and you had a job, but now going to school is your job. Put in 8 hours a day between classes and studying and you've done a full day's work and there is still plenty of time to enjoy your family. Third year has days where you wake up very early, and basically work until you sleep that night and then do it all over again, but that is not all year, in fact, ironically you may have VERY short days on some inpatient services especially on the weekends. Clinic mostly (some attending are nuts and or inefficient and you'll be in clinic late every day) is 8-5 with lunch break. Please relax. I promise you will be fine.
  7. SeventhSon

    SeventhSon SIMMER DOWN 7+ Year Member

    Aug 23, 2005
    San Diego
    some of the students at the top of my class are the married ones.

    I hold that it is not difficult to pass med school, but it is difficult to learn "all" the material that is presented to you.
  8. Sartre79

    Sartre79 10+ Year Member

    Mar 29, 2003
    Read some Nietzsche, suck it up, rub some dirt on it and get back in the game. ;)

    On a serious note: don't worry about something that may not be a reality. I'm married as well, and I know that I will have to make marriage a priority as long as you keep your cool and just keep swimming I think you'll find out that things will be just fine. A lot of it will be time management and the discipline of sticking to that schedule.
  9. Rogue Synapse

    Rogue Synapse The Dude Has Got No Mercy 7+ Year Member

    Apr 11, 2006
    I love med school. I've made great friends here, and my social life is still pretty good. I'm not at the very top of my class, but I'm definitely doing well, and I basically don't touch a book at all until the week before exam week. Which means that, if you round up, my typical term in school is completely relaxing and free 100% of the time. You can be this way too. Just don't let the stress of all your classmates get to you.
  10. 45408

    45408 aw buddy 7+ Year Member

    Jun 13, 2004
    I'm just about to wrap up my first year, and I had no trouble making plenty of time for my wife and some video games on the side. :D I would go to some classes, study for 3-6 hours (or as many as 17 close to exams, with lunch, SDN, etc mixed in, because there's no way I could learn for that much time), and usually make it home with a fair amount of time to burn. If your spouse gets home at 4pm every day, they might notice that you're not around as much, but my wife won't be home until 8pm tonight, so it was just as often her work schedule, not my school schedule, keeping us apart.
  11. geogil

    geogil Still training. 7+ Year Member

    May 1, 2006
    I'm glad I'm not the only one in the OP's shoes. Thanks for the reassuring posts guys.
    OP- pourquoi cet choix de nom d'ecran?
  12. psipsina

    psipsina Senior Member 5+ Year Member

    Jun 24, 2005
    I'm almost thru my first year and have been able to spend time with my husband. If nothing else we hang out for a dinner break, make dinner and watch a tv show together. On non-test weeks we go out on a date night every week. The only thing he's struggled with is he feels like he has no one to lean on, if he gets sick or is working a ton of hours and its during a pre-exam week there's not much support I have to give. He also says that he has no one to complain to because I've always had a crappier day, lol. Its not a walk in the park or anything but we've made it through just fine.
  13. Critical Mass

    Critical Mass Guest

    Feb 23, 2007
    Damn it. How am I going to pry you two apart if you keep spending time together?
  14. MarzMD

    MarzMD 5+ Year Member

    Jul 7, 2005
    You can have some free time if you are able to keep up and study pretty much every day. Otherwise, if you think you are not on top of the information you will be stressed out even during your breaks.....which is not good. The no free time usually comes from being inefficient during the weekdays, then having to sacrifice your weekends to catch up. A little stress is good if you use it to motivate yourself to stay on top of things, just dont let it overcome you.
  15. Doctor Bagel

    Doctor Bagel so cheap and juicy Moderator Emeritus 10+ Year Member

    Oh, so true. Listen to her! :)

    Now to add my piece of advice, you need to take med school one step at time. If you're worried at boards or third year going in, then you're going to be way more stressed out than you need to be. I got a little miserable starting to worry about those things, too, and had to just step back. Not saying that you are worrying about those things, but anxiety about the fairly distant future seems to be a pretty common cause of unneeded stress on SDN. So if you're going to worry about anything now, just worry about first year. Next year, worry about second year, etc.. If you approach everything as one smallish step, it seems more doable.

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