My personal statement--Too personal?

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emericana

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Hey guys... I am not sure if this is the correct forum to post this so if it is not please move it to the correct one.

So my deal is this. The following is my "real reason" to be a doctor.

It is very personal but hey, god bless internet anonyminity.

I came into college as a molecular bio major soley because I was interested in science. I did not plan on going to medical school at first, and like some people was not mature really when I came to school... my gpa my first year and a half really shows for that. (I graduated a year and a half ago with a 3.1cum and 3.1 science).

Now, I was originally planning on going for a PhD. However, I had a very tragic event happen to me halfway through my college career which forever changed the course of my life. I watched my girlfriend who I loved very much die inches away from me in a tragic car accident.

As one can imagine this was very tragic and life changing for me, at the time a 21 year old.

Right when this happened I vowed to be a doctor so I could do my best to make it so no one else experienced the pain that I did, which took me so long to get over.

So that is it in a nutshell. That is the reason why I want to be a doctor. I do not know if I should write about this or "make up" some type of bs for my personal statement. In the opinion of this message board, do you guys think this is too personal or do you think it is ok? Regardless it is the truth and the real reason why i want to be a doctor and what has driven me to do so over a purely research career.

I know my gpa is not that great, and I have been out of school a while shadowing and doing some other stuff (and am currently in the process of studying my butt off for MCAT in january)... If I cannot get in this round I will do a SMP and then go for it again.

Thoughts?

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Do not make up some bs. It is best if you are honest in your ps. I wouldn't restrict your ps to just this event though. Maybe bring up something about how your experiences since (such as shadowing, volunteering, etc) have helped to strengthen your desire to become a physician.
 
Hi there!

I think that is a very valid reason for wanting to be a doctor. A tragic event can be life-affirming and bring about many personal changes. However, I would not start out with addressing previous academic issues. Your personal statement is your chance to give the adcom a glimpse of who you are. Tell them your story about the car accident, and be sure to show how it relates to your motivations for more medicine. Tell it in lots of "I" statements, telling them about how you felt and show them how that experience become formative for you. Do not BS them. These people have finely honed BS detectors that can sink you as an applicant. Write about this experience in a passionate way that draws people in and shows them that you are more than your numbers, that your life experiences will make you a great physician someday, and that you have the compassion and drive to get there. Tell them about how you suffered and how this suffering became the fire in your belly.

I wrote my personal statement about a very personal experience, and how it affected the way I viewed the world. In all of my interviews except 1, my personal statement and the event I talked about came up. So if you write about it, be prepared to talk about this event. Don't be afraid to show them that you are human.
 
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Hey guys... I am not sure if this is the correct forum to post this so if it is not please move it to the correct one.

So my deal is this. The following is my "real reason" to be a doctor.

It is very personal but hey, god bless internet anonyminity.

I came into college as a molecular bio major soley because I was interested in science. I did not plan on going to medical school at first, and like some people was not mature really when I came to school... my gpa my first year and a half really shows for that. (I graduated a year and a half ago with a 3.1cum and 3.1 science).

Now, I was originally planning on going for a PhD. However, I had a very tragic event happen to me halfway through my college career which forever changed the course of my life. I watched my girlfriend who I loved very much die inches away from me in a tragic car accident.

As one can imagine this was very tragic and life changing for me, at the time a 21 year old.

Right when this happened I vowed to be a doctor so I could do my best to make it so no one else experienced the pain that I did, which took me so long to get over.

So that is it in a nutshell. That is the reason why I want to be a doctor. I do not know if I should write about this or "make up" some type of bs for my personal statement. In the opinion of this message board, do you guys think this is too personal or do you think it is ok? Regardless it is the truth and the real reason why i want to be a doctor and what has driven me to do so over a purely research career.

I know my gpa is not that great, and I have been out of school a while shadowing and doing some other stuff (and am currently in the process of studying my butt off for MCAT in january)... If I cannot get in this round I will do a SMP and then go for it again.

Thoughts?

You are exactly the type of person I wouldnt be mad about getting beaten by in admissions. Its nice to see a personal touch, not just someone being forced into medicine for money, prestige, or to make their parents happy like I have found with 70% of pre-meds I have met

Its all about how you word your PS and how you paint a picture. I would suggest talking about your beliefs about life (but dont preach) and human relationships etc. Tie this in with your personal experiences.

We are actually very similar applicants. I had a personal experience as well when I lost my father, I have same GPA, and I will also do an SMP next year if I dont get in.

Good luck to u!
 
I have mixed feelings on this matter. You've gone through a horrible, traumatic experience and it has clearly shaped your life goals. This is good for the personal statement, because it shows a sentinel event and a life-guiding experience.

However, many admissions people report that they just don't want to hear about a negative experience. Everyone has them. Why is your event different? What specifically made you want to become a doctor from the accident? I think this mainly applies to people to write, "My grandmother was ignored by four different physicians and died of a stroke," rather than stories such as yours.

If you can convey to the reader why this specific event made you choose medicine, then you'll win with the essay. If you simply use it and don't give a real motivating force behind it, then it might get lost in the pile.

Your personal statement is your opportunity to tell the admissions committee, "Why this guy?" If you can adequately relate this horrific experience to your drive to get into and through medical school and beyond, then do it.

Is it personal? Yes. Too personal? Probably not.

Disclaimer: I did not write about a negative health care experience in my PS. During my most recent interview, one of the first questions I was asked was, "Do you have any bad experiences from the care of a relative or friend?" :shrug:
 
Hey guys... I am not sure if this is the correct forum to post this so if it is not please move it to the correct one.

So my deal is this. The following is my "real reason" to be a doctor.

It is very personal but hey, god bless internet anonyminity.

I came into college as a molecular bio major soley because I was interested in science. I did not plan on going to medical school at first, and like some people was not mature really when I came to school... my gpa my first year and a half really shows for that. (I graduated a year and a half ago with a 3.1cum and 3.1 science).

Now, I was originally planning on going for a PhD. However, I had a very tragic event happen to me halfway through my college career which forever changed the course of my life. I watched my girlfriend who I loved very much die inches away from me in a tragic car accident.

As one can imagine this was very tragic and life changing for me, at the time a 21 year old.

Right when this happened I vowed to be a doctor so I could do my best to make it so no one else experienced the pain that I did, which took me so long to get over.

So that is it in a nutshell. That is the reason why I want to be a doctor. I do not know if I should write about this or "make up" some type of bs for my personal statement. In the opinion of this message board, do you guys think this is too personal or do you think it is ok? Regardless it is the truth and the real reason why i want to be a doctor and what has driven me to do so over a purely research career.

I know my gpa is not that great, and I have been out of school a while shadowing and doing some other stuff (and am currently in the process of studying my butt off for MCAT in january)... If I cannot get in this round I will do a SMP and then go for it again.

Thoughts?

My unprofessional opinion is that this would be a great personal statement. I feel like if it is well integrated with how your life changed and how you started on a path towards medicine after this terrible event then it will be a valid thing to write about. I would much rather read about someone having something real, raw and emotional happen to them then how their "leadership" in (Insert club, sport, etc) will make them a great doctor.
 
I think we all have life changing events that lead us to the dreams we have. I'm sorry that yours had to be so painful. However, for a personal statement to be effective, I think you need to speak about your journey since then. You've taken the sciences, shadowed, volunteered, etc. Speak about how medicine has grown into you and you've grown into it. Basically, explain why a doctor from that and not an engineer making safer cars or something.
 
I agree with the other posts; take heed of what they're saying. A traumatic experience such as yours can be a launching pad to the "why medicine" question. Imo, it would behoove you to then talk about what you have done since that experience (i.e. healthcare experience, volunteering, shadowing, extracurriculars, etc.) and talk meaningfully about what you learned, how you changed, and why you should be a physician.

Hope this helps.
 
I think we all have life changing events that lead us to the dreams we have. I'm sorry that yours had to be so painful. However, for a personal statement to be effective, I think you need to speak about your journey since then. You've taken the sciences, shadowed, volunteered, etc. Speak about how medicine has grown into you and you've grown into it. Basically, explain why a doctor from that and not an engineer making safer cars or something.

I agree. I'm sorry for your experience and I have no doubt that it profoundly shaped you. But I wouldn't make it your whole personal statement. Do mention it as a reason for medicine, but not your sole reason. Maybe say that this is what made you look into a career in medicine instead of research, and the more you found out about it, the more you couldn't see yourself doing anything else. You have to remember that at the end of the day, being a physician is a job...Why do you want to do this job instead of an engineering job like TriagePreMed said? Why will this job make you feel fulfilled and why will you be good at this job? What have you done to prove to yourself that this job is the only job that you'll be happy with?

With a strong upward trend in grades and a good MCAT mixed with shadowing, volunteering, etc., you'll get in. Read around the forum and you'll find a lot of low GPA success stories...Try the Underdog thread.
 
Great guys. Thanks so much for the encouragement.

Really means a lot.

I guess the reason why I wasnt sure if I should write about it is because it is obviously increadibly personal and really envokes a ton of feelings in me which I do not like to revisit too often. However it is my true desire to do medicine.

Now let me ask you another thing. I am not sure if I should bring this up as well (because it might make me sound crazy? lol).

Now after this event happened to me, I was in therapy for around a year and a half.

I visited both Psychotherapists (PhD/PsyD) and Psychiatrists (MD).

I had some very bad personal experiences with the healthcare system during this time.

Insurance would not cover my meds and as I am not from a very wealthy family or anything, I supported myself throughout college (I worked 2 jobs while going to class. One of these jobs was a bartending one and the other was science research). The meds I needed were name brand stuff and were very expensive.. I was spending ~100/month just on prescriptions.

In addition, to tremendous doctor bills etc there was one time when the ****ing Psychiatrist wrote down the wrong dose for the meds and overdosed me (wellbutrin... which made me get manic).

So... essentially I have a lot of experience which I would rather not remember from the healthcare system.

Do you think I should write about this stuff or just stick to the tragedy and how it has shaped my desire to be a physician? I do not want to come across as a mental head case when obviously I was in the health care system to overcome my loss etc etc
 
I wouldn't write anything about your negative experiences with health care. If they ask in an interview (which they have in all 4 that I've had), "what do you think is wrong with health care right now" or "how would you fix health care" that would be the place to talk about something like that in my humble opinion. I've had a lot of similar experiences recently...my husband was just diagnosed with type I diabetes (at 26, whodathunkit?) and our insurance isn't covering his insulin or anything until we meet our deductible. So there goes $400 a month...then guess what, right when we're starting to make headway on the deductible, Jan 1, the deductible starts over. I'm not going to be able to go to school next semester since I need to work for the money. Either way...the point...when I brought this up in interviews, I had a positive response from the interviewers using it as an example of what's wrong with health care insurers today. Because even though I pay $200/month for health insurance, they don't help us out at all.

I might of rambled there...sorry LOL
 
Nah thanks a lot! I really appreciate it! Looking forward to applying.

Now I gotta just tackle these MCATS! They be the death of me!
 
Yes, you should write about the health system and your experience being a patient. It shows that you will be able to sympathize with patients and that you have developed an image of yourself as a physician and your practice as being something different than what is currently practiced.
My personal statement was about how my mother's diagnosis with Huntingtons disease and its affected on my decision to become a doctor; I included my experiences with the terrible (and uninformed) doctors we dealt with.

As a general suggestion about personal/emotional personal statements is that you must invoke emotion in the reader without making them feel sorry for you. It is key to state how your experience has changed you and how it will affect you as a physician. And yes, be prepared to talk about your experience in the interview.

Good luck!
 
I wouldn't write anything about your negative experiences with health care. If they ask in an interview (which they have in all 4 that I've had), "what do you think is wrong with health care right now" or "how would you fix health care" that would be the place to talk about something like that in my humble opinion. I've had a lot of similar experiences recently...my husband was just diagnosed with type I diabetes (at 26, whodathunkit?) and our insurance isn't covering his insulin or anything until we meet our deductible. So there goes $400 a month...then guess what, right when we're starting to make headway on the deductible, Jan 1, the deductible starts over. I'm not going to be able to go to school next semester since I need to work for the money. Either way...the point...when I brought this up in interviews, I had a positive response from the interviewers using it as an example of what's wrong with health care insurers today. Because even though I pay $200/month for health insurance, they don't help us out at all.

I might of rambled there...sorry LOL
I somewhat agree and somewhat disagree. I think doctors know that the health care system is broken, but I think the chat about it being broken goes into the direction of an MPH. A doctor is focused on the day to day physical ailments of patients, so while I do believe it could be "okay" to write about it, I think a broken health care system doesn't address really well about becoming a doctor (in comparison to writing about something else).
 
I disagree with most of these posts. You dont need to write about your healthcare experience or the health related things you have done since the accident at all. I wrote my PS about a horrible event in my life and did not talk about any health related experiences. I was very honest and used my PS to show how it has shaped and changed me as a person and how I look at life. I did exactly what you seemed to want to do on your original post and was thanked at multiple interviews for my honesty and lack of BS. My interviewers seemed to like that I wasn't like everyone else and didnt do a "why medicine" essay where I talked about shadowing a doc and how it changed my career path. Just write about what you truly feel and if you are good at writing and you aren't giving bs then it will do you much better than if you aren't really honest.
 
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