Name change - married AFTER graduation

[gyndoc]

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I am a fourth year med student and getting married a few months into residency (to another doc). Ideally, I want to keep my maiden name as my professional name, but change my name legally to my husband's. I want to keep my maiden name as my middle name (no hyphenating though). Is that possible? I would appreciate any advice from any of you who have gotten married during residency. How have you handled name changes?

 

[GeneGoddess]

And this hassle is one of the reasons I kept my name... 🙂

My suggestion? If you want to use your maiden professionally, do NOT change anything! I think that you might have to use your legal name when it comes to practicing medicine (and may be required to change the name on your license, etc). Someone may be able to correct me or back me up on that. Can you just socially go by your husband's name? Believe me, the IRS does not care if you have two different names.

 

[typeB-md]

this issue has been beaten to death on this forum. so here is the summary.

1. Do not hyphenate your name. It is a sad attempt at holding on to tradition and just makes it a pain in the ass for your patients and others. One last name is enough.

2. Most women (on this board) declined to change their last name after they had already graduated but admitted, however, that they may have changed it if it was prior to graduating.

3. You cannot go professionally by a name other than your legal name.

4. Most women who kept their name used their husband's name for their children.

5. Most women who keep their maiden name do so because they are insecure about having worked so hard for so many years and feel that giving up their last name is giving up a large part of their identity/history (maybe not, but i figured i'd go ahead and add my take on the situation).

hope this helps

 

[doc05]

sounds like a major hassle. if you're going to use your husband's name anyway, why not just use it professionally too? after all, you'll just be starting residency (and therefore won't have established a "name" for yourself yet).

 

[drgirl]

My sister and sister-in-law both changed their names to include their maiden name as their middle name and their husbands name as their last name. seems like a good middle ground solution. professionally, they use their husband's name, but at least they haven't had to completely let go of their maiden names. They both had gotten married after they graduated.

 

[LADoc00]

LOL, Funny thread. Just to point out, NO ONE KNOWS OR GIVES A SIV-INFECTED MONKEY'S A$$ who you are coming out of med school. You arent famous, for Christ's sake you arent even important to the system. No, you arent Cher or Prince or whatever, so even the concept of a "professional name" is completely ludicrious! I can only imagine some Kaiser Permanante internist wondering if her name change will confuse people...no, no one cares! you are 1 in 100000, a faceless blob with a white coat. Get over yourself. Count yourself luckily some poor slob was momentarily dumb enough to marry you.

Sheesh. Was a funny read though.

 

[GeneGoddess]

LOL, Funny thread. Just to point out, NO ONE KNOWS OR GIVES A SIV-INFECTED MONKEY'S A$$ who you are coming out of med school. You arent famous, for Christ's sake you arent even important to the system. No, you arent Cher or Prince or whatever, so even the concept of a "professional name" is completely ludicrious! I can only imagine some Kaiser Permanante internist wondering if her name change will confuse people...no, no one cares! you are 1 in 100000, a faceless blob with a white coat. Get over yourself. Count yourself luckily some poor slob was momentarily dumb enough to marry you.

Sheesh. Was a funny read though.

I'm published. So if I changed my name, someone looking up my "married" name would miss the papers I published under my "maiden" name and vice versa. So, coming out of med school, I DO have a professional identity.

 

[LADoc00]

I'm published. So if I changed my name, someone looking up my "married" name would miss the papers I published under my "maiden" name and vice versa. So, coming out of med school, I DO have a professional identity.

OMG are you serious?? Hahahah. Im SURE your professional rep is riding on that drosophilia paper you co-authored with ten other people as an undergrad and some case report in Acta Otolaryngolica on cholesteatomas in African green monkeys! You totally proved my point.

 

[b&ierstiefel]

OMG are you serious?? Hahahah. Im SURE your professional rep is riding on that drosophilia paper you co-authored with ten other people as an undergrad and some case report in Acta Otolaryngolica on cholesteatomas in African green monkeys! You totally proved my point.

Oh god there he goes again. LADoc00, I told you to stay in the cage!

 

[gvmatt]

I will add my two cents here - I married another student and we will both interns next year but in different fields. I have had this great dilemna since we got married. I have not officially changed anything. But on my id I have a hyphenated name and kind of have picked which name to go by on different rotations to see if i could get used to being called by my married name. as i just had to register for my diploma, i decided to put down a hyphenated name. i decided on this after a year of asking every married resident or attending how they did it. i did come across a resident who legally has a hyphenated name, but uses just the maiden part for work. there is nothing egotiscal about doing this. especially when you are married to another dr in the same hospital. and as far as the publishing stuff goes - i too have several publications under my maiden name. and no they weren't some dumb no name thing as an undergrad. so i can totally relate to gg about that. i was told to keep using that name whenever i publish, so that is what i am trying to do. as far as working out the details - little things get tough - like your name on your insurance card, bank account, and names not matching to what is on your driver's licence. i wanted to use my married name socially - but it has proven to be somewhat difficult with it hyphenated or just my maiden name being my legal name. at places where you don't have to have an official id out, then it is not difficult to be known just by your married name.

i know that was long winded, but hope it helps some🙂

 

[LADoc00]

I will add my two cents here - I married another student and we will both interns next year but in different fields. I have had this great dilemna since we got married. I have not officially changed anything. But on my id I have a hyphenated name and kind of have picked which name to go by on different rotations to see if i could get used to being called by my married name. as i just had to register for my diploma, i decided to put down a hyphenated name. i decided on this after a year of asking every married resident or attending how they did it. i did come across a resident who legally has a hyphenated name, but uses just the maiden part for work. there is nothing egotiscal about doing this. especially when you are married to another dr in the same hospital. and as far as the publishing stuff goes - i too have several publications under my maiden name. and no they weren't some dumb no name thing as an undergrad. so i can totally relate to gg about that. i was told to keep using that name whenever i publish, so that is what i am trying to do. as far as working out the details - little things get tough - like your name on your insurance card, bank account, and names not matching to what is on your driver's licence. i wanted to use my married name socially - but it has proven to be somewhat difficult with it hyphenated or just my maiden name being my legal name. at places where you don't have to have an official id out, then it is not difficult to be known just by your married name.

i know that was long winded, but hope it helps some🙂

Yes Im sure that the incredible disappointment your loyal readers will experience when waiting for the next installment of "Making worms with glowing peepees and monkeys with 2 butts using fancy molecular biology" find that when daily mashing the refresh button on Pubmed using your only your maiden name, lo and behold they cant find your new sage words!! The mass hysteria that would ensue would spell total calamity for the western world, sooo Im glad you choose wisely. Thanks for relating a reference to "several publications" but remember handing reprints out to relatives doesnt increase your impact factor.

 

[doc05]

Yes Im sure that the incredible disappointment your loyal readers will experience when waiting for the next installment of "Making worms with glowing peepees and monkeys with 2 butts using fancy molecular biology" find that when daily mashing the refresh button on Pubmed using your only your maiden name, lo and behold they cant find your new sage words!! The mass hysteria that would ensue would spell total calamity for the western world, sooo Im glad you choose wisely. Thanks for relating a reference to "several publications" but remember handing reprints out to relatives doesnt increase your impact factor.

dude, you're being awfully harsh here all things considered. You're right though -- a few publications early on in your career aren't too important. If you become an academic, you'll have dozens of papers with your new name; if you go into private practice, you'll probably never publish again anyway.

I suggest the name change for everything. otherwise you'll have kids with multiple hypenated last names and that is just freaking confusing.

 

[GeneGoddess]

Well, the publications are the least of the reasons I didn't change my name. I mainly did it because I'm a raving feminazi with a cowtowing little husband and I wanted to piss off my inlaws. I'm sure that he'll eventually change his name to mine...as it should be.

 

[LADoc00]

Well, the publications are the least of the reasons I didn't change my name. I mainly did it because I'm a raving feminazi with a cowtowing little husband and I wanted to piss off my inlaws. I'm sure that he'll eventually change his name to mine...as it should be.

I basically knew that but thanks for volunteering it. I think your next publication should be: "Children with Feminazi Moms and emasculated Fathers who grow up to be ambigiously gay: A modern crisis of gender confusion."

Please do your family a favor and give your husband a copy of 'The Story of O' that should set things right.

 

[typeB-md]

I basically knew that but thanks for volunteering it. I think your next publication should be: "Children with Feminazi Moms and emasculated Fathers who grow up to be ambigiously gay: A modern crisis of gender confusion."

Please do your family a favor and give your husband a copy of 'The Story of O' that should set things right.

hay there sessy!!!! haha... you guys are too much

and i'd rather see someone keep their maiden name instead of hyphenating it. a hyphenated last name is for celebrities and is the most nonfunctional thing ever. i would beat my mom if she pulled that crap.

 

[Museless]

You can use two names, but not the way you've described. The name you use professionally has to be your legal name. But, you can ask people to call you whatever you like socially.

 

[openyoureyes]

I was married the summer between 3rd and 4th years. I changed my name legally but waited until December to change my name with the school and NBME. Since I had paid for Step 2 under my maiden name and I still had my old driver's license for ID at the test center, I waited to take the exams before changing my name professionally/academically. I went on interviews with my maiden name and will match with that, too. I plan on informing my residency program of my new name after the match and I imagine it will be a smooth transition from there.

My father wanted me to keep my maiden name "professionally" and said it would give me more privacy. But I'm going into anesthesia and won't need to hide from my patients anyway! 🙂

The dean at my school goes by her maiden name (her husband is a prominent faculty member as well) but I wanted to go the traditional route. Besides I'm not particularly attached to my old name, and it is a pain in the ass to pronounce and spell. 😳

 

[gvmatt]

gyndoc-
let me try to add some light to your originial question. i have asked numerous attendings, legal professionals, etc re this topic. from what everyone has told me they personally have done and what is legal- you can hyphenate your name legally and ask to use only one of the names on your license, etc. this is how the resident i referred to do did it. she specifically had all of her rx pads, etc only have the one name on it so she only signed one name. there may be some fine details i am missing, but i do know for certain that this person legally has a hyphenated name and only has her maiden name for professional work. it may vary by state, but at least where i am currently this was legal to do. as for outside stuff like bank accounts etc, i have been able to have just my married name on the account (just had to show our marriage license to do that) so that again i only sign one name. simplistically - yes it is easiest just to keep your maiden name and be known by your married name socially. but it has been possible to hyphenate and not use both names at all times, which is what i was hoping for. if you have any other q's, you can pm me and not deal with all of this other stuff on this thread.

 

[typeB-md]

gyndoc-
let me try to add some light to your originial question. i have asked numerous attendings, legal professionals, etc re this topic. from what everyone has told me they personally have done and what is legal- you can hyphenate your name legally and ask to use only one of the names on your license, etc. this is how the resident i referred to do did it. she specifically had all of her rx pads, etc only have the one name on it so she only signed one name. there may be some fine details i am missing, but i do know for certain that this person legally has a hyphenated name and only has her maiden name for professional work. it may vary by state, but at least where i am currently this was legal to do. as for outside stuff like bank accounts etc, i have been able to have just my married name on the account (just had to show our marriage license to do that) so that again i only sign one name. simplistically - yes it is easiest just to keep your maiden name and be known by your married name socially. but it has been possible to hyphenate and not use both names at all times, which is what i was hoping for. if you have any other q's, you can pm me and not deal with all of this other stuff on this thread.

this just doesn't seem to make any sense.

what's the point of ever going by your husband's last name if you'd prefer your own?

what you have just described is like a fading attempt to remain traditional. a case of denial almost. it is quite obvious that you don't care to be referred to by your husband's surname which i disagree with but it's your life and your decision. why not just keep your maiden name and not even have to worry about all the politics behind a hyphenated name?

 

[rpkall]

I personally agree with the above.

I think if I were in your position, I would have a much firmer, grounded professional and personal identity if I realized that I prefer my own name to stand out and make the statement of the sacrifice/dedication I possess to go through med school, publish, be a professional, etc...

Trying to reconcile that belief, which is a sort-of justified self-zionism, with the feelings and thoughts of your husband, who might be more traditional and not as understanding, would be hard... But in the long run, it might be worth it. If you decide that being traditional is really what you want, just take the new name, and stick with it all the way.

Unless it's something wonky, like Jibbleblugenfukk.

 

[fourthyearmed]

As a female who is not yet sure what I will do with my name if I get married, I really do not understand the idea of having one name socially and one name professionally. I am the same person whether I am at work or at a party. Am I not a person who's socially acceptable by my own name? Are only old fashioned women welcome in "society"? Will some of my patients not also see me at parties, at the mall, at the grocery store? What do they call me then? Most likely I will make my last name my middle name and my husband's my last name (no hyphen) but will always use both when signing my name. I don't want to be "two people", I just want to be me.

 

[gyndoc]

wow ... well, thanks to those of you who have been helpful... I think I am going to keep my maiden name as my middle name and change my name legally.

LADoc00 - you obviously have some anger issues, or something, and it scares me that you are physician.

 

[CameronFrye]

Don't be scared by LADoc00. He's a pathologist, so he's not actually alllowed to be near other people.