need advice abour personal statement

[Manou]

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my earlier version of my PS was the standard i want to be a doctor, i will make a great doctor, here are my activities that show i am compassionate, here is evidence that i will make a good doctor.

and then i read somewhere that you want to be as unique as possible. they say you should stand out. so I wrote about how this one time i did NOT help someone in need, and i started to do soul-searching and questioning whether i was fit to be a doctor.
here is a summary of my PS: homeless man was hit by car, I did not help him. everybody was minding their own business, nobody helped him.
next I began to question why did i not help him? i had shadowed surgeons and i was motivated to save lives. why did i not help him? i had worked at a private doctors office and enjoyed seeing people feel better. why did i not help him? is it because i was discriminating against him? no, i was also discriminated against as a child.
concluding paragraph: i realized i did not help him because i had never faced an emergency, thats why i froze. i learned that medicine is unpredictable and i hope medical training will help me help others.

I thought this was creative and it would definitely get me in, but some people that i showed it to said they dont like this angle at all and i should just go back to my boring PS.

what do you think?

 

[addo]

Maybe you concentrated too much on that one incident. One experience should not take up your whole personal statement. Try to work some of your "boring" personal statement into your exciting personal statement. Although PSs should be original and stand out you dont want to come across as over dramatic or gimmicky.
There is a thread around here on personal statements that I found very useful, check it out.
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=683792 at about 3 posts down.

 

[Midwestern Blot]

I would think that would be a terrible idea for a PS. Original? Yes, but it probably shows why you shouldn't become a doctor. Try to emphasize your attributes.

 

[Manou]

Ok, i guess time to start over.
they say write about something that you are passionate about and this is one of my passions: I work as a repair man in a repair shop and I enjoy making repairs on computers and video games. i can go without eating when i am repairing. a lot of times i am so focused that i forget that i havent had lunch. I feel that a lot of the skills are the same: i have to explain to people what i am going to do to repair their machines, and i have to understand how something works to successfully repair. but when i think about it more, this is really stupid and it wont go over.
one of the reasons is i am afraid they will think since i like working with machines, i must not like people.
should i include this hobby or not?

 

[ownage]

you can certainly spin that homless dude one. Say you saw homeless dude get hit. Noone moved. You froze. You wanted to help but couldn't do anything besides call 911. He died right there. And you watched a man die. You wanted to fight for him but couldn't and as a doctor you would be able to fight for peoples lives.

Then in the next paragraph talk about how you love to repair stuff. And how you get lost when your doing it. You give yourt 100 % and then go like although you love to repair stuff, you were not able to repair that homeless dude. And you realized if you repairing stuff kept you have from interaction with people and making real difference.


And so on.........

 

[rockaction]

this is a joke right

 

[sciencebooks]

you can certainly spin that homless dude one. Say you saw homeless dude get hit. Noone moved. You froze. You wanted to help but couldn't do anything besides call 911. He died right there. And you watched a man die. You wanted to fight for him but couldn't and as a doctor you would be able to fight for peoples lives.

Then in the next paragraph talk about how you love to repair stuff. And how you get lost when your doing it. You give yourt 100 % and then go like although you love to repair stuff, you were not able to repair that homeless dude. And you realized if you repairing stuff kept you have from interaction with people and making real difference.


And so on.........

Oh the spins.

 

[Bunny Fru Fru]

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