Need advice on this situation!!! (from a guys perspective)

[Telemachus]

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Anyways, I wonder why a young smart guy will be a janitor in the first place.

One could imagine myriad reasons, elitist a-hole.

 

[mjl1717]

So what's the big deal. People get attracted to the one person they can't have every now and then. We're all human ya know. Hey, at least she doesn't have a thing for a classmate. Trust me, I know from experience.

Becoming attracted to a classmate in med school = BAD NEWS 😱

Plus, guys claim they like it when girls ask them out and are the aggressor; in actuality they don't like easy prey. I'm not one for the rules, but I can say be yourself and have high standards. If you're gonna bang a janitor, he'd better be hot 😀

This is a reasonable reply! If you go out with the janitor just make sure he's dressed well and has at least average verbal ability.
AND just FORGET anyone who attempts to jib or jab at the janitors social status cause your bells are being rung (your happy!)

 

[PiccoloPlaya]

Especially if he's a hot sexxxy little beeotch 😀

 

[mjl1717]

One could imagine myriad reasons, elitist a-hole.

Well said!!-Could be his compasssion or conscientiousness or his feet, the fact of how he looks when he's shy, who knows?

 

[Shangal]

Come on, are we supposed to be politically correct about janitors too. Seriously, wouldn't you think it'll be wierd if your brother or sister decided on becoming a janitor. I mean maybe a garbage man because they have a cool truck, but cleaning floors, I'd rather join the army.
by the way, I am not an elitist. It was just an observation I guess I shouldn't have typed what I was thinking at that moment.
And I respect older janitors, the ones older then 40, because it's harder for them to get jobs, I just don't get why younger people will do it.

 

[Tiki]

Come on, are we supposed to be politically correct about janitors too. Seriously, wouldn't you think it'll be wierd if your brother or sister decided on becoming a janitor. I mean maybe a garbage man because they have a cool truck, but cleaning floors, I'd rather join the army.
by the way, I am not an elitist. It was just an observation I guess I shouldn't have typed what I was thinking at that moment.
And I respect older janitors, the ones older then 40, because it's harder for them to get jobs, I just don't get why younger people will do it.

You should be thankful they do. If they didn't, the world would be a pretty messy place.

 

[mjl1717]

Come on, are we supposed to be politically correct about janitors too. Seriously, wouldn't you think it'll be wierd if your brother or sister decided on becoming a janitor. I mean maybe a garbage man because they have a cool truck, but cleaning floors, I'd rather join the army.
by the way, I am not an elitist. It was just an observation I guess I shouldn't have typed what I was thinking at that moment.
And I respect older janitors, the ones older then 40, because it's harder for them to get jobs, I just don't get why younger people will do it.

In defense of janitors Id say:
1) You're not politically correct.(Everyone has their niche)Also you dont know the case!
2)There is a Jack for every Jill regardles of socioeconomic status!
3)Making statements like that about janitors, makes me think that you may be socially immature or had a very sheltered middle or high class life.
4)Even without the above it was a very unconscientious thing to say, get off the high horse and attempt to walk with common people.
5)This is hard for humans , but try NOT to judge people.

 

[robotsonic]

Come on, are we supposed to be politically correct about janitors too. Seriously, wouldn't you think it'll be wierd if your brother or sister decided on becoming a janitor. I mean maybe a garbage man because they have a cool truck, but cleaning floors, I'd rather join the army.
by the way, I am not an elitist. It was just an observation I guess I shouldn't have typed what I was thinking at that moment.
And I respect older janitors, the ones older then 40, because it's harder for them to get jobs, I just don't get why younger people will do it.

You really don't get it. I'm sure the guy wasn't sitting around one day, thinking, "Hmm, should I go to law school, med school, or become a janitor?" Not everyone has the opportunities that come with being upper middle class. Some people (get ready for a shock) are born poor, have few educational opportunities, and end up doing whatever work they can find to pay the bills. Social mobility in the U.S. is largely a myth - it has become more and more unusual in past decades for a poor person to move into the upper middle class. It's not impossible (I will be one of the few lucky ones), but very difficult. Try to remember that not everyone grew up with the opportunities that you had.

 

[mjl1717]

You really don't get it. I'm sure the guy wasn't sitting around one day, thinking, "Hmm, should I go to law school, med school, or become a janitor?" Not everyone has the opportunities that come with being upper middle class. Some people (get ready for a shock) are born poor, have few educational opportunities, and end up doing whatever work they can find to pay the bills. Social mobility in the U.S. is largely a myth - it has become more and more unusual in past decades for a poor person to move into the upper middle class. It's not impossible (I will be one of the few lucky ones), but very difficult. Try to remember that not everyone grew up with the opportunities that you had.

Excellent, Excellent.Well said
Shangal just doesnt know nor is he alone. Ill say it again many live a very sheltered middle and upper class life. And are unable to fathom "But there for the grace of God go I"
Excellent example of how "Igorance is bliss" or as some say an "Educated Fool"
Even with good grades certain people in lower socioeconomic levels are not given the opportunities to succeed. If nothing else Shangal put pride aside and try to get the Big picture!

 

[little_late_MD]

Do you people sit around just waiting for someone to say something you find remotely offensive, so that you can jump down their throats, and show the world how empathetic and humble you are?

 

[mjl1717]

Do you people sit around just waiting for someone to say something you find remotely offensive, so that you can jump down their throats, and show the world how empathetic and humble you are?

This medical arena is just not the place for people without compassion. That gives bad karma. If you want a compassionless carreer become a lier I mean lawyer, or a buisness person or a very selfish accountant or do the ultimate misnomer sell junk bonds. Basically these areas are without compassion and disregard for other socioeconmic levels!

 

[robotsonic]

Do you people sit around just waiting for someone to say something you find remotely offensive, so that you can jump down their throats, and show the world how empathetic and humble you are?

No. I don't know if you are referring to me, but I don't think that I was jumping down anyone's throat, or trying to prove that I am empathetic or humble. My post says nothing about my empathy or humility.

If someone can't possibly understand why a young person would work as a janitor, then they should at least be willing to listen to a different viewpoint.

 

[Telemachus]

Do you people sit around just waiting for someone to say something you find remotely offensive, so that you can jump down their throats, and show the world how empathetic and humble you are?

It isn't an issue of empathy or humility. I don't care about that. It is an issue of socioeconomic ignorance.

 

[mjl1717]

Do you people sit around just waiting for someone to say something you find remotely offensive, so that you can jump down their throats, and show the world how empathetic and humble you are?

Dont get me wrong either Im not trying to come off as empathetic or humble or even allowing pride or ego to take over. It just freaks me out that a so called "educated" person asks a q like "why does one become a janitor."
But I also know he is not alone!

 

[synapse lapse]

You really don't get it. I'm sure the guy wasn't sitting around one day, thinking, "Hmm, should I go to law school, med school, or become a janitor?" Not everyone has the opportunities that come with being upper middle class. Some people (get ready for a shock) are born poor, have few educational opportunities, and end up doing whatever work they can find to pay the bills. Social mobility in the U.S. is largely a myth - it has become more and more unusual in past decades for a poor person to move into the upper middle class. It's not impossible (I will be one of the few lucky ones), but very difficult. Try to remember that not everyone grew up with the opportunities that you had.

Bull$hit, social mobility is not a myth at all, american capitalism allows it now more than ever. I came from a poor family and did just fine, anyone who is willing to work hard and is self motivated can achieve financial success. You guys need to calm down, med students have no place dating janitors, end of story. I am driven, intelligent, and motivated and expect the same in a mate.

 

[Shangal]

didn't mean to upset so many people,
just ignore what I typed. I didn't mean at all that janitors are worth less then anyone else out there. I just meant that there are jobs out there that are more sanitary and fun that don't need a high school degree. I just don't get why someone will choose to be a janitor, that's all.
And I definetly wasn't trying to defend capitalism and look down on people who are poor. So if someone got offended by comments just ignore this ignorant guy.
I don't know why, but this kind of reminds me of that seinfield episode when jerry was making fun of dentists and people then started calling him an anti-dentite.

 

[Paws]

oh, you mean like an 'anti-janitorite'? janitor-ite? I can't believe I just made that word up. I need to get back to my heme books ...

 

[mjl1717]

Bull$hit, social mobility is not a myth at all, american capitalism allows it now more than ever. I came from a poor family and did just fine, anyone who is willing to work hard and is self motivated can achieve financial success. You guys need to calm down, med students have no place dating janitors, end of story. I am driven, intelligent, and motivated and expect the same in a mate.

Alexander, Robosonic said it correctly concerning social mobility(notice his wording).
Ideally one should be able to pull oneself up by his boot straps. But reallistically its very hard or impossible for most. Especially with todays very shaky economy and when Bush says unemployment has decreased -he is means that there are more jobs at Kmart and McDonalds!! Also with the war we are past the bleeding stage the economy is hemmorging. (Dont think I spelled that right) Secondly-This is an age old q that has plagued me in Med School.
Can a doc have a happy life with a woman or man who has not gone to college or vice versa. [This what this thread is about] I think the concensus is probably about 50/50. A fling is one thing but marraige is probably a heavier issue if the other half also lacks common sense! Just my humble opinion.

 

[Hausdaddy24]

Alexander, Robosonic said it correctly concerning social mobility(notice his wording).
Ideally one should be able to pull oneself up by his boot straps. But reallistically its very hard or impossible for most. Especially with todays very shaky economy and when Bush says unemployment has decreased -he is means that there are more jobs at Kmart and McDonalds!! Also with the war we are past the bleeding stage the economy is hemmorging. (Dont think I spelled that right) Secondly-This is an age old q that has plagued me in Med School.
Can a doc have a happy life with a woman or man who has not gone to college or vice versa. [This what this thread is about] I think the concensus is probably about 50/50. A fling is one thing but marraige is probably a heavier issue if the other half also lacks common sense! Just my humble opinion.

People aren't defined by whether they have a college degree or not. I don't think that would be a very effective way of choosing your spouse. There are plenty of people who never went to college because they CHOSE not to, not bc they couldn't cut it. I think it helps if each a couple has attributes that complement each other. My girlfriend never went to college, that doesn't mean shes intellectually inferior to me she just has different strengths. I'm extremely scatterbrained and shes super organized, in that way we complement each other very well. So basically, to answer your "age old question" yes I think a doc can live a perfectly happy life with someone who has not gone to college.

 

[Tiki]

People aren't defined by whether they have a college degree or not. I don't think that would be a very effective way of choosing your spouse. There are plenty of people who never went to college because they CHOSE not to, not bc they couldn't cut it. I think it helps if each a couple has attributes that complement each other. My girlfriend never went to college, that doesn't mean shes intellectually inferior to me she just has different strengths. I'm extremely scatterbrained and shes super organized, in that way we complement each other very well. So basically, to answer your "age old question" yes I think a doc can live a perfectly happy life with someone who has not gone to college.

I think its easier for a male doctor to end up with a non-college educated woman than for a female doctor to end up with a non-college educated male. At least it has been from my perspective. I've dated a few guys who didn't have college degrees, and they tend to freak about dating a woman in medical school. One guy (that I really liked, it was a shame he couldn't deal) kept telling me how "he's not smart enough to be with me." It really aggravated the crap out of me since A) I'm really not that smart, I've just been blessed with a memory, and B) This guy was brilliant in other stuff that I knew nothing about (music). No offense to men in general, but alot of them still tend to hold onto the sterotype that a man must be the breadwinner in the house. It's a shame, because I grew up in lower middle class family, and I have tons of respect for people who work hard no matter what they do for a living. I would never think to discriminate based on education level, but I'm starting to think I should.

 

[mjl1717]

I think its easier for a male doctor to end up with a non-college educated woman than for a female doctor to end up with a non-college educated male. At least it has been from my perspective. I've dated a few guys who didn't have college degrees, and they tend to freak about dating a woman in medical school. One guy (that I really liked, it was a shame he couldn't deal) kept telling me how "he's not smart enough to be with me." It really aggravated the crap out of me since A) I'm really not that smart, I've just been blessed with a memory, and B) This guy was brilliant in other stuff that I knew nothing about (music). No offense to men in general, but alot of them still tend to hold onto the sterotype that a man must be the breadwinner in the house. It's a shame, because I grew up in lower middle class family, and I have tons of respect for people who work hard no matter what they do for a living. I would never think to discriminate based on education level, but I'm starting to think I should.

I understand and agree some will say this is chauvinistic. If its a male doc the woman may only have to look good, be a good partner and mother, and be a lady in the living room and of course not embarrass him if he takes her to special medical CME conferences or social events. And most female docs will whine and cry "Im not taking care of any man".{Even if they spend an entire life ALONE}- which I think is very stupid in this very short life. Thats just how it is guys end of story

 

[yellowcat322]

People aren't defined by whether they have a college degree or not. I don't think that would be a very effective way of choosing your spouse. There are plenty of people who never went to college because they CHOSE not to, not bc they couldn't cut it. I think it helps if each a couple has attributes that complement each other. My girlfriend never went to college, that doesn't mean shes intellectually inferior to me she just has different strengths. I'm extremely scatterbrained and shes super organized, in that way we complement each other very well. So basically, to answer your "age old question" yes I think a doc can live a perfectly happy life with someone who has not gone to college.

I really think that your case is an exception to the rule. I really feel that people with comparable levels of education tend to make better partners for each other. Please don't take this as an elitist attitude--it has nothing to do with that. Just people at similar levels of education tend to have similar goals, world views, interests, etc. Someone who never went to college because they decided to do something else (i.e. become a cop or a musician) are by no means less smart or interesting people but they are still on the average people with different interests and personalities than those who hold graduate degrees for example. Not to say that mixing can't produce a functioning relationship, but it's just much more rare -- it's a numbers game. The more similar you are to your partner, the more likely you are to make it work in the long term. Opposites attract is just an old wives tale, IMHO

 

[Paws]

I think its easier for a male doctor to end up with a non-college educated woman than for a female doctor to end up with a non-college educated male. At least it has been from my perspective. I've dated a few guys who didn't have college degrees, and they tend to freak about dating a woman in medical school. One guy (that I really liked, it was a shame he couldn't deal) kept telling me how "he's not smart enough to be with me." It really aggravated the crap out of me since A) I'm really not that smart, I've just been blessed with a memory, and B) This guy was brilliant in other stuff that I knew nothing about (music). No offense to men in general, but alot of them still tend to hold onto the sterotype that a man must be the breadwinner in the house. It's a shame, because I grew up in lower middle class family, and I have tons of respect for people who work hard no matter what they do for a living. I would never think to discriminate based on education level, but I'm starting to think I should.

Yep, I agree with Tiki. It's a gender thing. Alot of men would prefer a woman who hasn't gone to college versus a woman chosing a man who hasn't gone to college. Society, what can you do? Personally, I would be very happy to come home to a farmer/contractor/self-employed etc. kind of guy, just for the same reasons Tiki described. Some days I really like the idea of a nice guy who is out building houses all day and has a different perspective on life from the medicos I am dealing with all day. Maybe then our bs patterns wouldn't cross, and the stuff I would have to be dealing with would be different from the bs he would be dealing with.

It's hard, but maybe too a case by case situation. I try and keep an open mind ...

 

[funshine]

Yep, I agree with Tiki. It's a gender thing. Alot of men would prefer a woman who hasn't gone to college versus a woman chosing a man who hasn't gone to college. Society, what can you do? Personally, I would be very happy to come home to a farmer/contractor/self-employed etc. kind of guy, just for the same reasons Tiki described. Some days I really like the idea of a nice guy who is out building houses all day and has a different perspective on life from the medicos I am dealing with all day. Maybe then our bs patterns wouldn't cross, and the stuff I would have to be dealing with would be different from the bs he would be dealing with.

It's hard, but maybe too a case by case situation. I try and keep an open mind ...

Actually, I've heard that many women doctors end up having husbands who are not nearly as well-educated as they are. I wonder if its a demand and supply thing...female docs are less desirable and thus end up having to lower their standards. On the other hand, maybe they're NOT lowering their standards at all. A guy who has the time and interest to do a lot of practical stuff around the house is attractive, esp. if the wife can provide for their family. I know a female scientist who ended up marrying the "janitor" of her lab (I think his actual title sounded better, but he basically performed maintenance duties) and their relationship seems to have worked out really well. He is an excellent father and great handy-man to have around...he's fixed a ton of stuff in our house 🙂. Frankly, it's insulting to say that janitors and other blue-collar workers lack motivation, talent, or intelligence. Some people were never that interested in school and thus chose to turn to vocational careers early on...is that a "character flaw"? Of course not.