Need feedback please

Started by AUhopeful
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AUhopeful

AUhopeful

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Hi everyone! I decided to sit down last night and crank out my personal statement. I was hoping to get some input if anyone is interested in reading it. PM me and I will be happy to send it over. This is the first draft and I know there are plenty of punctuation errors and other sentence hiccups so if you catch them let me know. I plan on taking it to school tomorrow to get the reading lab to go over it with a fine tooth comb. Thanks!! 🙂
 
I'm also up for swapping statements. an extra set of eyes is always helpful. pm me and we can swap (both twelvetigers and AU).
 
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I'd be up for some PS swapping. 🙂 I'm going to PM the three of you. If you're too busy, no sweat! Would love some advice, though!
 
I'm around as well if anyone wants an extra set of eyes. I'm also a bit of a 'late' starter in terms of the PS, this weekend is crunch time :meanie:
 
I finished a (rough, terrible) draft under duress this morning at 4:30 am. We'll put it this way - I'm a bad writer who takes a very long time to write things, but if someone wants to swap with me I'm game. Just know that one thing. 😉

edit: no offense to lurkers, but I will probably only do this with someone who's been posting here for a little while or that I've seen post good solid advice and posts.
 
If people PM their statement to me I'll read it it would be a good (or bad) distraction from studying for my first exam!
 
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Nyanko and twelvetigers, I'd be interested in giving your PS's a read.
 
I would also love to exchange drafts. I'm reaching that special point where you start wanting to rip out your hair.
 
Can I join too? I was hoping to have mine done tonight, but I got bit by a cat at work yesterday and my finger is still three times its normal size. So, I am hoping to crank mine out tomorrow. But, in the meantime if anyone wants me to read theirs just send me a PM. Good luck to everyone on writing really awesome PS's. 😀
 
Okay! My email is my username at yahoo, so if you send me yours, I'll comment on it and return it with a copy of mine. I'm still missing one tie-in from paragraph to paragraph and a conclusion. I also have two different starts, but I think I like one better already, so I'll just stick with it for now.

David (or anyone else who doesn't have a PS to send) can just send me an email saying, "Hey, this is such-and-such, send me yo shiz," or whatever.

I have to go have some pie, right now, but I trust my inbox will be full when I return? Since no one else has anything better to do on a Saturday night? 😉

ETA: Include your username if you want me to know who you are... not that it makes a difference to me.
 
Last edited:
Hey, all! Just got back from a weekend trip and found several awesome messages waiting for me. You guys rock! Wanted to let you know I'll be looking at your statements tonight and will be sending mine out as well. Thanks bunches!!! 😀
 
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Sorta along the same lines, would any of you be willing to give me your opinion regarding the first paragraph or two of my personal statement??

I have written the majority of it but am beginning to question whether I should head down a different road with it. Basically my PS is about growing up competing horses on the national circuit. As it stands right now, I start out describing the bond I had with my horses and the indescribable feeling I felt when competing. I then go on and tie this in with the other side of showing- the career threatening injuries and illnesses I experienced with my horses and how this influenced my decision to become a veterinarian. The only problem with this approach is that I do not include any specific examples (due to the word limit) and I feel this weakens my point.

My question is, for any of you that are willing to give me your 2 cents, do you think it would be better to begin with a narrative detailing one of these specific incidents... for example, training all year for one of the biggest shows in the country, only to find out my horse was off (it ended up she had torn her suspensory ligament) when we arrived? ...basically talk about the heartbreak/disappointment/etc, the rehabilitation process, and how incidents such as ^^ influenced my decision?

I know what I wrote above is kinda vague. especially without reading my actual PS. If anyone would be willing to read my current introduction as well as the other one I have in mind I would be more than grateful to send it to you.
 
So here is my schedule this afternoon:

1. Nap
2. Orgo online HW
3. Tweak/rewrite PS based on recommendations
4. Review the PSs that have been sent to me
5. Send out my PS and the ones that were sent to me

I might eat at some point... haha. In other words, if you're waiting on me to look at your PS, tonight's the night.
 
If you sent me your PS and I have yet to get back to you, I apologize. I have been quite busy with school starting back up and trying to get back into the swing of things. I promise this weekend I will send back PS and I will get mine out as well. Good luck to everyone writing PS's and good luck to everyone applying as the deadline is getting closer and closer. :scared:
 
Along the same vein, if you've PMed me or sent me your PS and I haven't read yet, hang tight. I'm actually at my mom's house in Pittsburgh until Wednesday, and am really busy with stuff this weekend but possibly Tuesday/Wednesday will have some time.
 
I'm done with those that sent me theirs... if I forgot someone, let me know, but I don't think I did.

Anyone else want to trade?

Anyone just want to read mine? C'mon, you know you don't want to listen to me bitch again next year... so let's make sure this one is really good. 😉
 
twelvetigers said:
I would be happy to read it! My email address is in a message above so just shoot it my way. My main concern would be making sure you sell yourself as a potential vet and don't just tell a story.
Click to expand...

I've been gone for the past week but thank you! I will send it to you asap... Also, in a day or so (or maybe a couple haha) I'll be ready to swap with anyone who is willing/wants to swap with me!!
 
I'll read some statements if anyone wants to send some my way. I'm 98% done with mine so I can send it out your way too!
 
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