need help, carribean student wanting to leave

[labrat9]

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Hi SDN,

I don't know who to turn to. I am embarrassed and ashamed over my predicament. "dont apply to a school you wouldn't want to go to!" well I thought i would be fine here, but I am not, and I'm worried about it impacting my performance.

I applied this cycle and got into a Caribbean school. A series of decisions and a lot of work has gotten me here, so it isn't something that happened 'by accident'.

I'm absolutely miserable. I just want to go back home. I'm in orientation and I'm already thinking about applying as a transfer. I was nervous to come here but excited for the possibilities open to me after school, but i didnt think about the two and a half years where i'd rarely see my family. I brushed it off like I could handle it, but I'm struggling with the idea of spending 90% of the two years here. the concept of living here and visiting home for short periods instead of the other way around is messing with me. even just having a summer off would make this move a lot easier for me mentally. I applied off of VMCAS with the other applications, was not interviewed or accepted elsewhere.

I want to apply as a transfer but am missing physics II and orgo II for some places, and I know how risky it is to transfer.

Should I go home while I can before classes start, defer here, and take more prereqs and try again? or tough it out here?

I've asked my family and boyfriend for help and they dont think im giving it enough of a chance. I am worried that if i wait longer i will not get my money back, or I will have a record and just have to fail my classes if i leave.

everyone i've talked to here has fallen in love with the island and I just cant wait to leave. I've always thought of myself as a tough girl that can handle anything, but I am worried I have bit off more than I can chew. please help.

 

[Frozenshades]

Unfortunately no easy decision there. I agree with your family though, you should give it a chance. You've already come this far and there's zero guarantee you'll be accepted anywhere again. Or what if you have to apply multiple times? You might be kicking yourself two years down the road if you're stuck with no admission offer and thinking about how you could be close to graduating with a DVM if you hadn't bailed. And if anything I think it might be a detriment to a future application having already enrolled and then immediately withdrew from a DVM program; at the very least you'll likely have to explain that.

Also, unless I'm wrong, won't you have 2-3 weeks between semesters at Ross? Yeah, it's less time but still enough to go home for a bit, see your family, and decompress.

And if you can make the best of it you can always try to transfer. Yeah there's no guarantee you'll get a seat anywhere, but at least you'll be working towards a DVM still. During years 1 and 2 my class had 7 or 8 transfers from Caribbean schools join, so people do it.

Just think very carefully before you make a big decision like that.

 

[Madison2017]

Unfortunately no easy decision there. I agree with your family though, you should give it a chance. You've already come this far and there's zero guarantee you'll be accepted anywhere again. Or what if you have to apply multiple times? You might be kicking yourself two years down the road if you're stuck with no admission offer and thinking about how you could be close to graduating with a DVM if you hadn't bailed. And if anything I think it might be a detriment to a future application having already enrolled and then immediately withdrew from a DVM program; at the very least you'll likely have to explain that.

Also, unless I'm wrong, won't you have 2-3 weeks between semesters at Ross? Yeah, it's less time but still enough to go home for a bit, see your family, and decompress.

And if you can make the best of it you can always try to transfer. Yeah there's no guarantee you'll get a seat anywhere, but at least you'll be working towards a DVM still. During years 1 and 2 my class had 7 or 8 transfers from Caribbean schools join, so people do it.

Just think very carefully before you make a big decision like that.

I agree with everything stated above ^^^. It’s definetly a hard decision but also a risky one.

I’d say it’s all about attitude looking forward. I’ve always lived super close to home but will most likely be going out of state & out of country is even further so I feel for you. But mentality is everything so if you convince yourself you’re miserable, then you will be. Try to stay positive. Lots of people are here for you!

 

[LabLuv004]

Hi SDN,

I don't know who to turn to. I am embarrassed and ashamed over my predicament. "dont apply to a school you wouldn't want to go to!" well I thought i would be fine here, but I am not, and I'm worried about it impacting my performance.

I applied this cycle and got into a Caribbean school. A series of decisions and a lot of work has gotten me here, so it isn't something that happened 'by accident'.

I'm absolutely miserable. I just want to go back home. I'm in orientation and I'm already thinking about applying as a transfer. I was nervous to come here but excited for the possibilities open to me after school, but i didnt think about the two and a half years where i'd rarely see my family. I brushed it off like I could handle it, but I'm struggling with the idea of spending 90% of the two years here. the concept of living here and visiting home for short periods instead of the other way around is messing with me. even just having a summer off would make this move a lot easier for me mentally. I applied off of VMCAS with the other applications, was not interviewed or accepted elsewhere.

I want to apply as a transfer but am missing physics II and orgo II for some places, and I know how risky it is to transfer.

Should I go home while I can before classes start, defer here, and take more prereqs and try again? or tough it out here?

I've asked my family and boyfriend for help and they dont think im giving it enough of a chance. I am worried that if i wait longer i will not get my money back, or I will have a record and just have to fail my classes if i leave.

everyone i've talked to here has fallen in love with the island and I just cant wait to leave. I've always thought of myself as a tough girl that can handle anything, but I am worried I have bit off more than I can chew. please help.

I was in a similar situation in October. I hated the UK and I wanted to leave pronto. I missed my family and my life and I had even started transfer applications. I considered just going home.

But I’m so happy I stuck it out. I am very close to my extended family, but I get to talk to them and message them whenever I want. You will find your stride and make friends that feel like you do so you’ll know you aren’t alone. I found the hardest time to be before classes started. We had 3 weeks of orientation and other stuff before classes really began and I was more homesick then than I was at any point.

Once classes start you’ll remember why you’re there, and you’ll also be too busy to really be homesick. For me making plans helped so I knew when i could go home next. If you want to look into transferring I know it helped me to know I had options. But I think you’ll find your fit there. Try keeping busy and making your room feel like home. Really put effort into making it the way you like it so you’re more comfortable. And hold out for classes. If you’re experience is like mine, this will be the worst part and it gets better. You’ll be too busy to be homesick very soon.

Just keep telling yourself that things would have changed no matter what. You’re moving towards your goal (even though when they give you weird breaks before classes it doesn’t feel like it). Don’t feel like you have to love it yet, living in a foreign country sucks sometimes, but give it 3 months. I was told it takes 3 months to get over culture shock and really start to “live” in a new country— and for me it was 100% true. By the time I was heading home for break in December I didn’t feel out of place in London, it was just a second home. Some people adjust to change quickly, but don’t let that discourage you from giving it a chance because chances are you just need more time.

 

[DVMdreamcometrue]

May be things will get better when you start making friends and kept busy with school work and you won't have much time to miss home 🙂

 

[DVMDream]

Hi SDN,

I don't know who to turn to. I am embarrassed and ashamed over my predicament. "dont apply to a school you wouldn't want to go to!" well I thought i would be fine here, but I am not, and I'm worried about it impacting my performance.

I applied this cycle and got into a Caribbean school. A series of decisions and a lot of work has gotten me here, so it isn't something that happened 'by accident'.

I'm absolutely miserable. I just want to go back home. I'm in orientation and I'm already thinking about applying as a transfer. I was nervous to come here but excited for the possibilities open to me after school, but i didnt think about the two and a half years where i'd rarely see my family. I brushed it off like I could handle it, but I'm struggling with the idea of spending 90% of the two years here. the concept of living here and visiting home for short periods instead of the other way around is messing with me. even just having a summer off would make this move a lot easier for me mentally. I applied off of VMCAS with the other applications, was not interviewed or accepted elsewhere.

I want to apply as a transfer but am missing physics II and orgo II for some places, and I know how risky it is to transfer.

Should I go home while I can before classes start, defer here, and take more prereqs and try again? or tough it out here?

I've asked my family and boyfriend for help and they dont think im giving it enough of a chance. I am worried that if i wait longer i will not get my money back, or I will have a record and just have to fail my classes if i leave.

everyone i've talked to here has fallen in love with the island and I just cant wait to leave. I've always thought of myself as a tough girl that can handle anything, but I am worried I have bit off more than I can chew. please help.

This is homesickness. It sucks, it does, but it eases up with time. You'll feel this way regardless of if you're 5 hours away or a few countries away. Heck, you can feel this way being 45 minutes from "home". It takes time to get used to a new place, routine, etc and it is human nature to resist change a little.

Some things that can help... have a dedicated skype time with family. Download to your cell phone and have any family that can, whtsapp and viber. If you have Internet connection, you can use these apps to make direct phone calls and to text with people via the apps, they were awesome for when I was in Scotland.

Take some time to meet classmates and see how things change with time. Right now, you're probably consumed and overwhelmed with "different". Different lifestyle, food, transportation, people, etc. No one can plop into a new country and not miss home. Talk with other classmates as you get to know them, they are feeling the same in some degree.

I did end up transferring out of the UK but it was a massive task and I still wasn't "home". I transferred back to the US but was still a 5ish hour flight away.

I think you should give it some time still and as hard as it is, don't dwell on "home" and how much you miss it, you will catch yourself up in a hopeless cycle of neverending homesickness.

 

[deleted867257]

I'm a future Rossie and am terrified of experiencing this feeling.
However, DVMDream makes an excellent point. Last August I moved a simple 3 hours from my family and it started out as an extremely rough ride. I had my ESAs, which definitely lessened the "blow" but they were adjusting too and also having a hard time (which just stressed me out even more). I spent free-time crying and frustrated, now I'm in my routine, I'm used to things. I see a family member once every few months or so.
I've taken the time to make friends here, experience new things and it's helped the overall moving aspect. And I'm really hoping this helps me when I move.
I would advise sticking it out, I was so close to moving back to be closer to family/friends last year, but I'm really glad I didn't. I'm just hoping for the same result when I go to Ross.

 

[WeimMama]

Hi SDN,

I don't know who to turn to. I am embarrassed and ashamed over my predicament. "dont apply to a school you wouldn't want to go to!" well I thought i would be fine here, but I am not, and I'm worried about it impacting my performance.

I applied this cycle and got into a Caribbean school. A series of decisions and a lot of work has gotten me here, so it isn't something that happened 'by accident'.

I'm absolutely miserable. I just want to go back home. I'm in orientation and I'm already thinking about applying as a transfer. I was nervous to come here but excited for the possibilities open to me after school, but i didnt think about the two and a half years where i'd rarely see my family. I brushed it off like I could handle it, but I'm struggling with the idea of spending 90% of the two years here. the concept of living here and visiting home for short periods instead of the other way around is messing with me. even just having a summer off would make this move a lot easier for me mentally. I applied off of VMCAS with the other applications, was not interviewed or accepted elsewhere.

I want to apply as a transfer but am missing physics II and orgo II for some places, and I know how risky it is to transfer.

Should I go home while I can before classes start, defer here, and take more prereqs and try again? or tough it out here?

I've asked my family and boyfriend for help and they dont think im giving it enough of a chance. I am worried that if i wait longer i will not get my money back, or I will have a record and just have to fail my classes if i leave.

everyone i've talked to here has fallen in love with the island and I just cant wait to leave. I've always thought of myself as a tough girl that can handle anything, but I am worried I have bit off more than I can chew. please help.

Where are you? If its RUSVM I am happy to talk to you and maybe calm you down a bit. I know its an insanely different world but living on St. Kitts changed me as a person SO MUCH and I couldn't imagine my life story without it now.

Honestly if after classes start you are hating it that much but do really want to be a vet transferring is an option and having a semester of vet school under your belt, especially with good grades, will make you and excellent transfer applicant.

 

[Hawky22]

I'm kinda of in the same boat as you. Like the orientation is good at trying to get us accustomed to the island but it's a completely different lifestyle to back home. I'm also a really shy and family oriented person and is having a hard time making new friends and being away from the states. The sea is also making me claustrophobic, like I'm trapped somewhere. I don't hate it by any mean but I have been tense. Transferring is something I'm considering too.

 

[labrat9]

HI everyone, thank you for your thoughtful replies.

to address the issues brought up by DVMD: I think my issues with being so far is that i'm having trouble breaking apart the year round program. I heard how great it will be to just have it done, and that you dont forget anything over the break, but I didn't take this into consideration. It sounds stupid, because I knew about this going in to the program, but it hit me once I'm here that I will be away from my family for 80% of the year. Having a summer off makes moving into manageable semesters. I have tried applying that mentality just onto three semesters, but having such a fast turn around time at home doesn't ease this for me. It is so different here that all the other factors including "being far away" are piling up.

everyone else here loves it so much already. My boyfriend says that neither of us (those who are in love with it, those like me who are miserable), don't have enough information to go off of and its too early to tell either way. I felt pressure to bail immediately due to financial costs.

Weimama and Hawky, i'll PM both of you.

I appreciate everyone's support. I am going to immerse myself as best as I can, hopefully classes will bring relief.

 

[allieh8607]

Feel free to PM me, too @labrat9

I went to RUSVM and am the most introverted person ever. I left behind my family that I was extremely close to as well as my boyfriend/fiance (status changed while I was there). I suck at making friends because I hate making small talk and developing relationships lol. I was forced to find a group of people though because I quickly realized group studying was my jam and I wasn't going to make it through vet school alone. Believe me, I spent a lot of time dwelling on the fact that I was only going to be home in the states with my favorite people for 8-9 weeks out of the year but at some point you will get so involved with your studies and activities that it will become an afterthought and not at the forefront of your brain. I know it's not the most responsible fix to the issue, but what really immensely helped me was adopting my kitty as soon as I moved out of the on-campus dorm. Having someone waiting for me at home every day after classes and being there to at least cuddle when I was missing physical contact from my fiance made a world of difference.

It's normal to not be in love with the island immediately. Heck even when I moved off the island for good, I joked that I had an "island hangover" and would def not be back to visit for at least 3-5 years because I just needed a break from it all...life there is slow and "easy" but at the same time it's exhausting. There are counselors on the island (through the school) that are there to help with transitioning and easing your fears/worries...I strongly recommend reaching out and setting up an appointment.

 

[labrat9]

Hey all,

thanks again for all of your help and encouragement. I took a bit of time away from the site and most of social media. Moving down here is a huge adjustment, and as much as I wish I could be home, I am enjoying the courses and the high amount of information is keeping me busy. I contemplated with going back and pursuing a masters, or a different career, but once classes started I realized that if I was doing anything else, I would be kicking myself for not going through and at least attempting vet school. I decided to set a deadline for myself (first round of exams) to see how I adjusted. the first exams are this upcoming week and the following, and we have currently just finished week 2. I was worried that if my slump from orientation week continued, I would struggle immensely with the material. I am petrified of falling behind, which really drove me to get my ass in gear and focus on school. You were all right, having classes and building a small network of other, like-minded students has helped immensely.

the orientation week was rough as there was a lot of free time to contemplate the huge decision that was made to pack up to a tiny island with very little possessions so far from home, without the affirmation as to why you did all that. but when the classes started, it was suddenly like "oh yeah, this is why I'm here". Sounds ridiculous, but when you're under stress your brain works in funny ways I suppose.

The school has great resources and the faculty is caring about students who may be struggling. I hope that posting this will help other international students feel that they are not alone during a difficult adjustment period and that sticking it out could help a lot.

thank you all again, i do appreciate it.

 

[Vannandy]

As a fellow Caribbean student I'm extremely happy to hear things are getting better. Adjustment to island life and distance from home is definitely one of the most difficult things to overcome. Although I'm in a different island than Ross students feel free to reach by direct message if you ever need someone to talk to (someone perhaps close by but not on the same island that understand the challenges we face.) I know I share a unique relationship as a SGU student with my friends at Ross. Strengthened especially during hurricane season =P