Absolutely I don't mind clarifying. And thank you for the "career superstardom" complement. It actually means a lot coming from you.
As far as my financial situation, as soon as I graduated residency I took the biggest sign on bonus I could find with a very high $/hour, and moved to BFE. I went to medical school with a partial scholarship, lived very much within my means, and attribute a lot of hard work and sacrifice to getting where I am financially.
I do love the actual practice of EM, as I suspect many of you all do as well. I practice in a very high acuity hospital and love seeing this rare disease or doing that crazy cool resuscitation. It's the BS that comes with it like sepsis measures, patient satisfaction, MIPS, justifying everything, going from covid heroes to zeros etc. Maybe I am burnt out. Maybe I need more resilience training. Maybe I need to see a therapist.
When our new CMG took over not too long ago, they ramped everything up to the max. They hound us, cut our pay, and honestly treat us like garbage. Several of the doctors who were my friends are quitting, or have been fired. I guess I hate the CMG and the hospital an incredible amount for letting us suffer. I also hate the admin work, but am worried if I resign I will have a big target on my back. If I didn't have a permanent home here with an established network of friends locally, I would possibly consider leaving although the local market is saturated.
I am already starting to cut back from work. I used to work 180 hrs per month of average without blinking an eye and feeling great. With these new changes, I dread every shift. I just hate the thought of the opportunity cost, especially while our pay is still relatively high. I suspect within 3 years the market will tank. I look at these owners of FSEDs and UCs with envy for having the balls to take a risk and control their own destiny. As I was reflecting on my situation this morning, I realize I can now also take a risk from a position of financial strength. So I wanted to branch out so I have "something else" so that if something happens to my job, I can fall back on something else. I see that people with ownership at least have that sense of satisfaction and that control.
I'm sorry for my rant. It was somewhat therapeutic to type that out and I appreciate you reading this. Either way, I'm looking for an opportunity to branch out and try something new.