Need Some Encouragement

[Dr.sleepykitty]

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Alright,
My whole life I've want to work in the hospital as a doctor. Now i'm a biology major. I'm too smart for my own good, really I do minimal studying, and I'm pulling off A's and B's which is good, because I have to work at In n out 25-30 hours a week. I'm in my 5th year of school, because I transfered and changed mymajor (from prenursingto biology (premed)). I don't have ANY volunteer since high school, nor experience in hospital. I come from a family doctors and my mother is a nurse, so i know from "lounging" in the hospital and observing that this is something I'm passionate abut. I'm going for my EMT to get away from IN N OUT and do something that will be beneficial, for medical school. But these last two semesters have been my worst, I've been late for everything, waiting until the very last second to study, and just over all lacking in the motivational department. Oh, and i'm 6,000 in debt and working my ass off to get out in 6 month time, by my birthday. My grandmother and my uncle believe it's not the right decision. My grandmother is very old school thinking and believes and women should be a doctor, while my uncle probably thinks I'm as crazy as the rest of my family. I justify myself, to those who have graduated and landed a job. I want nothing more than to accomplish my goals of becoming a doctor, but my laziness and semi-depressed self are killing that dream.

Thanks,
Carly
🙁

 

[spicedmanna]

Hi, Carly,

I appreciate you for choosing to manifest your childhood dream to be a physician. Keep it up. If this is truly your dream, don't let go.

I'm not sure about the best way to support you, since I basically don't know you, but here are some observations I made from your post, which may or may not apply to you:

After reading your post and family history, the results of your actions seem to indicate that you are resisting your own attempt to go forward (aka, self-sabotaging), as evidenced by your self-reported "laziness" and "semi-depression". My sense is that there is a part of you, perhaps unconscious, that is not along for the ride, so to speak. This part of you might be taking on the predominate family attitude (a la family drama) and believes that you don't deserve to be, or shouldn't become a physician. There are perhaps some deep feelings that you have about this that you have managed to push "underground", thus the experience of depression and the non-motivation syndrome you are reporting. Furthermore, it seems to me that you have a belief that you are "too smart for your own good." This sounds like a belief that you are fundamentally "too much." If you find yourself often thinking, "I'm too [fill in the blank]", then you probably fit into the clan of "I'm too much" thinkers.

It would be beneficial for you to get into contact with these parts of you, face them, and completely embrace them and yourself. You are absolutely perfect just the way that you are right now, and you don't need to justify yourself to anyone. That's a great place to start. It's okay to be very smart and for things to be easy for you. It's okay to be a smart woman and want to be a doctor. You are you and your family are your family; you are not them. Give back to them what belongs to them; you don't have to take those gift-horses. This is about YOUR dreams and what you've always wanted since early childhood. Don't forget to feel your feelings.

You can appreciate how these old beliefs have brought you to where you are now; they have been somewhat successful for you and for generations of your family. But you want more than just survival; you want to thrive, and those old beliefs probably aren't too suitable for thriving. Therefore, it's time to let go of these old beliefs and to create new ones for yourself; new beliefs that will get beyond survival thinking. Create some new myths for yourself that will take you in the direction of becoming a doctor.

Okay, enough of that. I suggest that you surround yourself with people who are willing to support you through this process, people who you can be completely honest with about what is going on, who won't judge you, and are willing to give you honest feedback. Do lots of fun, creative things that make you feel happy, avoid activies that stiffle your creativity (I'm guessing working at IN and OUT is one of those). Contemplation is good, but make sure you don't leave your body behind; honor the wisdom of your body. Take time to get out of your head. Find out where your energetic leakages are and plug them up. Feel all your feelings. Learn how you are actively involved in generating the experience you are having right now; actively create a different experience, if you are not enjoying yourself at the level you want. Instead of criticizing yourself, make a practice of giving yourself at least five appreciations a day. You are not a victim of your life; there lots of things you can do to make your experience more friendly. Above all: DON'T GIVE UP.

🙂

 

[FieldDoc]

I'm writing this during what may be the most boring pharmacology lecture the world has ever heard. I mention this because it hits on a point that I am going to attempt to make, so stick with me. I read your post and it reminded me of me. I am a self-labeled slacker. Other people hate that I get good grades with no to minimal effort.

The problem with this is that I have poor study skills because I have never really had to study. This is where the excuses stop. Prepare for a climb up onto a soap box. Don't feel sorry for yourself, don't make excuses. Look around and realize how very hard people work and how hard others may have to study to achieve the same grade that you may be capable of with minimal effort. You need to learn how to be like them, because in medical school you are going to have to study. Ask people if you can study with them, learn how long they study, what they do to study, and whatever you can from these study-happy folks.

I always heard the stories of how much people studied in medical school and thought, "that won't be me", but I can tell you that it is me now. Medical school will be a rude awakening of sorts because you have to study, you have to study a lot. Its not that the material is hard, its not that its all new, its just that there is a lot of it and you have exams frequently. One exam over, next about to begin. I didn't study in undergrad, didn't study in grad school, and now find myself planning my studying for every day of the week. Pathetic.

I still don't study as much as my classmates. I still slack off and still have to find a way to turn off the TV and study every night. Its hard, but that's what med school is all about and the sooner you realize this the better. Medical school is easy, its not difficult material. The difficult part is realizing that you will be giving up most of your freedoms for the next 4+ years. You no longer have a life you can call your own, you go to school every day, almost all day. You wake up early on the weekends to hit up the anatomy lab before it gets crowded. You find that you have a top five favorite study spots list. You have more than one group that you like to study with.

Its EASY to wake up and say that you want to be a doctor, but, its HARD to wake up every morning for two straight years prepared to spend another day with your face in a book or your butt stuck in a seat in a classroom all day. Its EASY to make excuses for your slacking ways, but its HARD to make yourself study something that you don't find interesting because you may need those extra points on an exam. Its EASY to cruise through undergrad and maybe even grad school without a care in the world, but its HARD to explain this to an ADCOM board who knows what you will have to go through and give up for the next better part of a decade of your life. Descending from the soapbox.

If you are in debt you will have to fix it before starting school, because you need a pretty good credit score to be able get all the loans needed for school. Minor detail that some people don't realize until they have to scramble for co-signers on thier loans.

Become an EMT, it was the best thing that I ever did, but it also contributed to my slacking as I found myself working overnights while attending school and putting work before school.

Wake up every day and make sure that you are doing exactly what you want to do. You only get one shot at life, so make sure that you are finding happiness in everyday. Sometimes you have to suffer through some bad (mine is staying awake through lecture everyday) to achieve good (being a doc) while remembering how hard (undergrad, grad school, 6 years as a paramedic) you worked to get there. If you can't find happiness in your eevryday life, then re-evaluate what you are doing and why until you can really find what will make you happy.

Now, back to explaining why my opening was important. I'm going to say do as I say, and not as I do. I'm also going to take a bit of my own advice and pay attention for the rest of this oh-my-goodness-is-he-ever-going-to-stop lecture. Why, because I want to be a doctor, and at this point in my life that means that I have to sit through not so appetizing lectures in order to further my education. Its important. I have to do well in my classes, pass my boards, get a residency, and may have to remember details that the prof is spouting right now thirty years down the road to help somebody.

I hope I made some sense. If not, blame the droning voice of my currently babbling prof.

 

[mitawa]

I'm writing this during what may be the most boring pharmacology lecture the world has ever heard. I mention this because it hits on a point that I am going to attempt to make, so stick with me. I read your post and it reminded me of me. I am a self-labeled slacker. Other people hate that I get good grades with no to minimal effort.

The problem with this is that I have poor study skills because I have never really had to study. This is where the excuses stop. Prepare for a climb up onto a soap box. Don't feel sorry for yourself, don't make excuses. Look around and realize how very hard people work and how hard others may have to study to achieve the same grade that you may be capable of with minimal effort. You need to learn how to be like them, because in medical school you are going to have to study. Ask people if you can study with them, learn how long they study, what they do to study, and whatever you can from these study-happy folks.

I always heard the stories of how much people studied in medical school and thought, "that won't be me", but I can tell you that it is me now. Medical school will be a rude awakening of sorts because you have to study, you have to study a lot. Its not that the material is hard, its not that its all new, its just that there is a lot of it and you have exams frequently. One exam over, next about to begin. I didn't study in undergrad, didn't study in grad school, and now find myself planning my studying for every day of the week. Pathetic.

I still don't study as much as my classmates. I still slack off and still have to find a way to turn off the TV and study every night. Its hard, but that's what med school is all about and the sooner you realize this the better. Medical school is easy, its not difficult material. The difficult part is realizing that you will be giving up most of your freedoms for the next 4+ years. You no longer have a life you can call your own, you go to school every day, almost all day. You wake up early on the weekends to hit up the anatomy lab before it gets crowded. You find that you have a top five favorite study spots list. You have more than one group that you like to study with.

Its EASY to wake up and say that you want to be a doctor, but, its HARD to wake up every morning for two straight years prepared to spend another day with your face in a book or your butt stuck in a seat in a classroom all day. Its EASY to make excuses for your slacking ways, but its HARD to make yourself study something that you don't find interesting because you may need those extra points on an exam. Its EASY to cruise through undergrad and maybe even grad school without a care in the world, but its HARD to explain this to an ADCOM board who knows what you will have to go through and give up for the next better part of a decade of your life. Descending from the soapbox.

If you are in debt you will have to fix it before starting school, because you need a pretty good credit score to be able get all the loans needed for school. Minor detail that some people don't realize until they have to scramble for co-signers on thier loans.

Become an EMT, it was the best thing that I ever did, but it also contributed to my slacking as I found myself working overnights while attending school and putting work before school.

Wake up every day and make sure that you are doing exactly what you want to do. You only get one shot at life, so make sure that you are finding happiness in everyday. Sometimes you have to suffer through some bad (mine is staying awake through lecture everyday) to achieve good (being a doc) while remembering how hard (undergrad, grad school, 6 years as a paramedic) you worked to get there. If you can't find happiness in your eevryday life, then re-evaluate what you are doing and why until you can really find what will make you happy.

Now, back to explaining why my opening was important. I'm going to say do as I say, and not as I do. I'm also going to take a bit of my own advice and pay attention for the rest of this oh-my-goodness-is-he-ever-going-to-stop lecture. Why, because I want to be a doctor, and at this point in my life that means that I have to sit through not so appetizing lectures in order to further my education. Its important. I have to do well in my classes, pass my boards, get a residency, and may have to remember details that the prof is spouting right now thirty years down the road to help somebody.

I hope I made some sense. If not, blame the droning voice of my currently babbling prof.

I agree completely with the above statements, and I come from a similar background and study habits!

 

[Daughterofruth]

Its EASY to wake up and say that you want to be a doctor, but, its HARD to wake up every morning for two straight years prepared to spend another day with your face in a book or your butt stuck in a seat in a classroom all day. Its EASY to make excuses for your slacking ways, but its HARD to make yourself study something that you don't find interesting because you may need those extra points on an exam. Its EASY to cruise through undergrad and maybe even grad school without a care in the world, but its HARD to explain this to an ADCOM board who knows what you will have to go through and give up for the next better part of a decade of your life.

Thank you for this!! As a struggling freshman I'm so far behind all of you yet older than most at this stage as I stare down my 40th birthday later this month. Reality tells me that as my family's primary wage earner and being the age I am it is probably too much of a financial risk for me to ever make my dream of becoming a doctor happen, but dangit it won't be because I couldn't cut it academically. Today I REALLY needed a kick in the butt and there it came from your post, right on cue. 👍

 

[Anastasis]

Its EASY to wake up and say that you want to be a doctor, but, its HARD to wake up every morning for two straight years prepared to spend another day with your face in a book or your butt stuck in a seat in a classroom all day. Its EASY to make excuses for your slacking ways, but its HARD to make yourself study something that you don't find interesting because you may need those extra points on an exam. Its EASY to cruise through undergrad and maybe even grad school without a care in the world, but its HARD to explain this to an ADCOM board who knows what you will have to go through and give up for the next better part of a decade of your life. Descending from the soapbox.

This was a great post, thanks 🙂

 

[FieldDoc]

All I was really going for was to express my opinion and not be labeled a complete *female dog*, I guess I overshot my goal.

Adcom: What would you say is one of you weaknesses?
Me: Well, I've never heard anyone say, "Gee, I wonder what FieldDoc's opinion on this issue is."
**The Adcoms laughed.**
Me: No, I'm serious.

I've posted on the typical life of a med student multiple times, specifically at LECOM. I was a paramedic before this new med school life that I have found myself in. I went to undergrad, then grad, and now medical school. I'm not exactly non-traditional, but I had more than one full time job and was not fresh out of undergrad, so I can really relate. If anyone has any questions, you can always feel free to PM me. I had a bunch of people a year or two ahead of me in the process to guide me, I'd be more than happy to pass on any info I have obtained in my travels.

And yes, for those wondering minds...I am again in a pharmacology lecture, and its still boring. No new news on this front.

 

[Dr.sleepykitty]

So i sat down, and wrote a list of pros and cons... where i'm at... and all that jazz. i sat down with my both of advisors ( major and prehealth). They told me different things. So started took both of their opinions and suggestions into consideration and doing my own research. I want medical school, I will be a doctor. I promised myself that I will be dedicated and work through the debt, but most importatly through the education. I will sit down and study material that I already know, I will sit down and "learn to study." I need to face my "qoute inner demons" and face my future and dreams with my head held high. Thanks for all your feed back. I'm having a blast in my undergraduate classes, making myself a "competitive applicant"... i can't wait for med school!!!! It's only 2 1/2 years away! 🙂