Need to convince my girlfriend that Boston is right city...

[majahops]

Okay. Fellow SDN addicts, I need your whit in this crucial moment of my life.

I'm trying to convince my girlfriend that she can be as successful in the fashion industry (generally speaking, not sure which sector yet) if we go to Boston as she would be if we went to Philadelphia. I haven't been able to build a solid enough argument to this point, so I haven't wanted to formally discuss it with her. Yes, clearly, I use dirty tactics. This is how I roll. But seriously, I sincerely think she is mistaken to think that Philadelphia has a significantly more "booming" fashion industry than Boston... but "I can't back that up."

Please, any suggestions would be appreciated.

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[armybound]

If she's not a Red Sox fan you probably shouldn't be dating her anyway.

 

[majahops]

See, this is one of the reasons I love Boston 🙂

But seriously, somebody help me out here.

If she's not a Red Sox fan you probably shouldn't be dating her anyway.

 

[Tally]

Boston has a decent fashion scene...not New York or anything, but there are a lot of nice boutique stores on Newbury Street that are very fashionable...

 

[funkymunkytoes]

In terms of priority and importance:

Medicine>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>fashion.

Also, you're not dragging her to rural South Dakota, it's BOSTON.

 

[majahops]

My girlfriend's happiness and sense of professional/vocational identity >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> where I go to school to me. I just have a bunch of family in Boston...

However, I agree with your South Dakota point... I just need to have some info to back up my claim that things are going to be alright in Boston, is all.

Thanks Funkster

In terms of priority and importance:

Medicine>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>fashion.

Also, you're not dragging her to rural South Dakota, it's BOSTON.

 

[Pghboy18]

To be honest, I think Boston is a pretty poor city for fashion because of the climate and lack of racial diversity in the city, but I feel your pain on the gf issue.

This article might help. Or at least it might help you sound like you know what you're talking about when you try to convince her.

http://www.zimbio.com/Boston,+Ma/articles/12/A+History+of+Boston+Fashion

 

[SB100]

funky is partly right. Your priority is medicine and your career. If your gf is willing to move with you to Boston because she can find something here, more power to you. However, if she's determined to go to Philadelphia, don't let her decision affect your career. The sad truth is, when it comes to picking between medicine and her, most people are going to say pick medicine.

 

[majahops]

You = the best.

To be honest, I think Boston is a pretty poor city for fashion because of the climate and lack of racial diversity in the city, but I feel your pain on the gf issue.

This article might help. Or at least it might help you sound like you know what you're talking about when you try to convince her.

http://www.zimbio.com/Boston,+Ma/articles/12/A+History+of+Boston+Fashion

 

[scarletgirl777]

To be honest, I think Boston is a pretty poor city for fashion because of the climate and lack of racial diversity in the city, but I feel your pain on the gf issue.

This article might help. Or at least it might help you sound like you know what you're talking about when you try to convince her.

http://www.zimbio.com/Boston,+Ma/articles/12/A+History+of+Boston+Fashion

I have a friend who is very interested in fashion who says that Boston is not a great city for it. On the other hand, since when was Kiladelphia a fashion mecca?

 

[Pghboy18]

funky is partly right. Your priority is medicine and your career. If your gf is willing to move with you to Boston because she can find something here, more power to you. However, if she's determined to go to Philadelphia, don't let her decision affect your career. The sad truth is, when it comes to picking between medicine and her, most people are going to say pick medicine.

Don't pick medicine over your girlfriend if you really care about her, especially if you have multiple acceptances.

Over the next years, medicine is going to dominate your life in so many ways that you need to fight to maintain your personal life where you can. If you start with the attitude that medicine comes before everything, you're going to get trampled and end up disgruntled.

Ditch the girl if she's not that important to you, but if she is, then do your best to accommodate her. Forget the premed "medicine is life" bs.

 

[Pghboy18]

You = the best.

Thanks dude. I don't give a **** about fashion, but sometimes it pays to sound like you know about things girls are into if you know what I mean

 

[majahops]

I am 100% with this line of thinking. I am extremely lucky to have 5 acceptances and even luckier to have a girlfriend of 8 years who loved the hell out of me when I was a C student with no direction. There's no way I'm ditching this woman. Perhaps, PERHAPS if Boston were my only choice, I'd give her an ultimatum... but as I said, I'm lucky enough to be in a position where I don't need to do that.

I just sincerely believe that since I have family in Boston, and we know a combined ZERO people in Philadelphia, she is more likely to meet someone who can connect her to someone in fashion. I also don't believe that Boston is necessarily inferior to Philly in terms of availability of work in fashion.

... But what I need is reasoning to back up my assumptions. I commonly lack reasons for things, which is why I plan to be successful in medicine. Hehe

Don't pick medicine over your girlfriend if you really care about her, especially if you have multiple acceptances.

Over the next years, medicine is going to dominate your life in so many ways that you need to fight to maintain your personal life where you can. If you start with the attitude that medicine comes before everything, you're going to get trampled and end up disgruntled.

Ditch the girl if she's not that important to you, but if she is, then do your best to accommodate her. Forget the premed "medicine is life" bs.

 

[majahops]

That's how we survive relationships.

Thanks dude. I don't give a **** about fashion, but sometimes it pays to sound like you know about things girls are into if you know what I mean

 

[RevivedPreMed]

If she's not a Red Sox fan you probably shouldn't be dating her anyway.

I second this.

 

[RevivedPreMed]

I am probably the biggest advocate for Boston you will ever find. My boyfriend had dental school acceptances in both Philly and Boston but chose Philly for no good reason. I was bummed because I have a house in Mass so I would have moved up there and been with my red sox. I despise Philadelphia so yea, that means long-distance relationship for us. haha.

I do not think Boston is any less into fashion than Philly. If she is really serious about getting into fashion she should really be in New York City, in order to get the best/right kind of exposure.

Other than that factor, Boston is the most amazing place. It has everything you could ever want which I'm sure you know.

If you are okay with going to a different school then thats great. But if you are not 100% on board it may really suck if you choose Philadelphia for her and you end up breaking up. You'll be miserable.

You have to figure out how serious you guys are about each other and who's going to make the compromise at this point. Just keep in mind whoever gives in, make sure that its not the same person each time making sacrifices because that sucks.

 

[RevivedPreMed]

http://www.bostonfashionweek.com/

Here's the link to last year's fashion week. Have her check it out and she what she thinks.

 

[airplanes]

I don't know if the average pre-med is really in tune with the fashion industry...per se.

Found this forum on google, maybe you can ask them for some solid reasoning to back you up.

http://www.thefashionspot.com/forums/f90/

 

[BTC]

I hope you know that if you convince her to go to Boston, every single one of her career set backs will be entirely your fault. Are you prepared for that kind of responsibility?

 

[RevivedPreMed]

I don't know if the average pre-med is really in tune with the fashion industry...per se.

Found this forum on google, maybe you can ask them for some solid reasoning to back you up.

http://www.thefashionspot.com/forums/f90/

Not really a great generalization. I'm very much into fashion and medicine. For many years I struggled with deciding which path to go down.

That being said...the only fashion I'll be wearing in a few years is solid colored scrubs. haha

 

[airplanes]

Not really a great generalization. I'm very much into fashion and medicine. For many years I struggled with deciding which path to go down.

That being said...the only fashion I'll be wearing in a few years is solid colored scrubs. haha

lol...I said the average. I stand by my generalization. There will always be exceptions (and that's great, of course) but from my experience (and I am willing to bet that most people on here can attest), pre-meds are not usually interested in the fashion industry as an alternative career.

 

[airplanes]

I hope you know that if you convince her to go to Boston, every single one of her career set backs will be entirely your fault. Are you prepared for that kind of responsibility?

OP doesn't seem to be in that kind of ticky tacky grudge holding type of relationship. Life is all about compromise.

 

[Druzie]

No offense to your gf, but this seems silly. Does she already have a job offer in Philly or something? Then I could understand. What kind of fashion industry job is she looking for anyway?

Edit: just reread that you said she doesn't know what sector yet.

 

[Black Surgeon]

I am 100% with this line of thinking. I am extremely lucky to have 5 acceptances and even luckier to have a girlfriend of 8 years who loved the hell out of me when I was a C student with no direction. There's no way I'm ditching this woman. Perhaps, PERHAPS if Boston were my only choice, I'd give her an ultimatum... but as I said, I'm lucky enough to be in a position where I don't need to do that.

I just sincerely believe that since I have family in Boston, and we know a combined ZERO people in Philadelphia, she is more likely to meet someone who can connect her to someone in fashion. I also don't believe that Boston is necessarily inferior to Philly in terms of availability of work in fashion.

... But what I need is reasoning to back up my assumptions. I commonly lack reasons for things, which is why I plan to be successful in medicine. Hehe

Ok listen. You are missing the point. A lot of men don't understand the way women think but luckily for you, I'm here to enlighten you. Boston or Philadelphia makes no difference to your girlfriend (trust me). You are misconstruing the message. The yearn she expresses about living in a city which will enable her to succeed in fashion is simply a manifestation of her desire to have a ring on her finger. In other words: SHE WANTS YOU TO MARRY HER. So proposing would solve all your troubles.

 

[NotAndrew]

I'm trying to convince my girlfriend that she can be as successful in the fashion industry (generally speaking, not sure which sector yet) if we go to Boston as she would be if we went to Philadelphia.

I don't think Philadelphia is really a fashion hub, neither is Boston. But both are close enough to New York that maybe she/you or both of you could commute.

 

[RevivedPreMed]

So I came to a conclusion that may work for both of you.
If you really love Boston then why don't you agree to go to Philadelphia for medical school. She'll have four years to get experience and gain her footing in the fashion industry. When you guys are ready to settle down, move to Boston to plant your roots. She shouldn't have trouble at that point finding a worthwhile career and you'll get to go to Fenway as much as possible.

 

[majahops]

Thanks so much, you guys have been great! I really appreciate it.

 

[majahops]

Gulp. You may be too smart for your own good.

Ok listen. You are missing the point. A lot of men don't understand the way women think but luckily for you, I'm here to enlighten you. Boston or Philadelphia makes no difference to your girlfriend (trust me). You are misconstruing the message. The yearn she expresses about living in a city which will enable her to succeed in fashion is simply a manifestation of her desire to have a ring on her finger. In other words: SHE WANTS YOU TO MARRY HER. So proposing would solve all your troubles.

 

[SB100]

Don't pick medicine over your girlfriend if you really care about her, especially if you have multiple acceptances.

Over the next years, medicine is going to dominate your life in so many ways that you need to fight to maintain your personal life where you can. If you start with the attitude that medicine comes before everything, you're going to get trampled and end up disgruntled.

Ditch the girl if she's not that important to you, but if she is, then do your best to accommodate her. Forget the premed "medicine is life" bs.

You're misunderstanding my point. These are the most crucial years for anyone trying to get their foot into any industry, and it's unfortunate that medicine is a bit more restrictive than fashion. The gf can choose which city she wants to be in, whereas you really have no idea after medical school where you'll end up. There is match, fellowship opportunities, etc. that may end up moving you across the country or to other cities on the east coast. If you make a move according to your SO's wishes and end up not being together (aka married), you'll regret it.

I don't know the OP's relationship status with his gf. If he feels their relationship is deep enough that it could end in marriage, by all means do what you can to stay together. However, if you really aren't feeling the passion and the potential to stay with the person the rest of your life, don't expect it to last.

 

[majahops]

I totally agree. I think it's ridiculous that my girlfriend is choosing Philly over Boston before even having a good reason to think she'll be more successful in Boston... but if I dare to point out how ridiculous she's being, she may misinterpret it as me "not believing in her" or something, and blowing up at me. True, it's not the maturest thing to do, but I can see where she's coming from. I have a much more stable path, with reinforcements of acceptance... I think she's partially scared of following my success around for the rest of her life, and losing her identity. It's so important to me that she feels important to herself... which is why I have to be very tactful in the way that I present the argument that it will be of benefit for HER to go to Boston.

No offense to your gf, but this seems silly. Does she already have a job offer in Philly or something? Then I could understand. What kind of fashion industry job is she looking for anyway?

Edit: just reread that you said she doesn't know what sector yet.

 

[Revilla]

If you guys aren't engaged, why do you have to move together? Long distance relationships aren't ideal, but I think it's better than one of you forcing the other to live somewhere he or she doesn't want. And it's not like it would be permanent.

 

[majahops]

I feel as if we will almost certainly get married at some point. We have yet to live together, though... and that's an important stepping stone before marriage, in my opinion.

You're misunderstanding my point. These are the most crucial years for anyone trying to get their foot into any industry, and it's unfortunate that medicine is a bit more restrictive than fashion. The gf can choose which city she wants to be in, whereas you really have no idea after medical school where you'll end up. There is match, fellowship opportunities, etc. that may end up moving you across the country or to other cities on the east coast. If you make a move according to your SO's wishes and end up not being together (aka married), you'll regret it.

I don't know the OP's relationship status with his gf. If he feels their relationship is deep enough that it could end in marriage, by all means do what you can to stay together. However, if you really aren't feeling the passion and the potential to stay with the person the rest of your life, don't expect it to last.

 

[majahops]

The whole thing is that I don't think she will necessarily be happier in Philadelphia than in Boston! If I thought she'd be happier in Philly, it wouldn't be an issue, I'd go to Philly and [I'm sure] be perfectly happy there.

The issue is that she is under the impression that she'll be happier in Philly (we're from LA, by the way) based on one trip to Philadelphia and one trip to Boston. She got a sense that the fashion scene is more popping in Philly. I'm not sure if this is accurate, or representative enough for her to prefer the city over Boston based solely on this feeling...

If you guys aren't engaged, why do you have to move together? Long distance relationships aren't ideal, but I think it's better than one of you forcing the other to live somewhere he or she doesn't want. And it's not like it would be permanent.

 

[Retsage]

Why don't you just go to NYMC? It's definitely happening in NYC.

 

[BlueElmo]

Don't pick medicine over your girlfriend if you really care about her, especially if you have multiple acceptances.

Over the next years, medicine is going to dominate your life in so many ways that you need to fight to maintain your personal life where you can. If you start with the attitude that medicine comes before everything, you're going to get trampled and end up disgruntled.

Ditch the girl if she's not that important to you, but if she is, then do your best to accommodate her. Forget the premed "medicine is life" bs.

No way, that will never happen for me. It is my life. Take it away, I die.

 

[DrWookie]

The whole thing is that I don't think she will necessarily be happier in Philadelphia than in Boston! If I thought she'd be happier in Philly, it wouldn't be an issue, I'd go to Philly and [I'm sure] be perfectly happy there.

The issue is that she is under the impression that she'll be happier in Philly (we're from LA, by the way) based on one trip to Philadelphia and one trip to Boston. She got a sense that the fashion scene is more popping in Philly. I'm not sure if this is accurate, or representative enough for her to prefer the city over Boston based solely on this feeling...

I think you two need to look into it TOGETHER and decide. Take some time to sit down and do some research about the opportunities in both places. You seem to think she is not informed enough, but in this post you admit you aren't either.

Do the research together and make the choice together. If you really want to stay with this girl then you both need to be happy.

 

[135892]

If things don't work out in philly, your gf can always pack up and move up to Boston to be with you. Whereas if you don't like it at a certain med school, its not like you can just switch schools. She has much more flexibility than you do, especially since she has no solid job lined up in philly.

 

[WannaBePreMed]

Are you 100% sure you're going to go to Boston U? What about your waitlists and interviews?

 

[Revilla]

The whole thing is that I don't think she will necessarily be happier in Philadelphia than in Boston! If I thought she'd be happier in Philly, it wouldn't be an issue, I'd go to Philly and [I'm sure] be perfectly happy there.

The issue is that she is under the impression that she'll be happier in Philly (we're from LA, by the way) based on one trip to Philadelphia and one trip to Boston. She got a sense that the fashion scene is more popping in Philly. I'm not sure if this is accurate, or representative enough for her to prefer the city over Boston based solely on this feeling...

Yeah, but think about what you're saying. You're claiming to know what will make her happy better than she does and that's awfully presumptuous for someone who isn't her fiance or husband yet.

 

[majahops]

No, I'm claiming to believe that she doesn't have a good reason for thinking Philadelphia will be better for her than Boston.

Yeah, but think about what you're saying. You're claiming to know what will make her happy better than she does and that's awfully presumptuous for someone who isn't her fiance or husband yet.

 

[majahops]

Can't wait for waitlists. Got to plan as if I'll be rejected by them. If I don't, then woopie, extra options open. If I do, then I'll be ready to move forward.

Are you 100% sure you're going to go to Boston U? What about your waitlists and interviews?

 

[majahops]

You're right.

I think you two need to look into it TOGETHER and decide. Take some time to sit down and do some research about the opportunities in both places. You seem to think she is not informed enough, but in this post you admit you aren't either.

Do the research together and make the choice together. If you really want to stay with this girl then you both need to be happy.

 

[jinx520]

I think it's great that you value your gf's career aspirations and understand how important it is for her to maintain her own sense of identity. That said, I agree with Dr. Wookie that the both of you need to sit down, review the pros and cons, and decide together where to go.

A bit of advice: if you want to avoid the types of fights that BTC predicts in the future if you convince your girlfriend to move to Boston, then your pro-Boston argument needs to be extremely subtle. Just do your research and make sure that there are more pro-Boston items on your list of things to consider than there are pro-Philly things; hopefully (and if you did your job well), she will come to the decision that Boston is better on her own rather than you having to convince her. That way, she won't throw "I never even WANTED to come here" at you when she encounters things that might irritate her about the city.

 

[majahops]

"I never even WANTED to come here"... he he. I love it. It's so coming, no matter what.

I think it's great that you value your gf's career aspirations and understand how important it is for her to maintain her own sense of identity. That said, I agree with Dr. Wookie that the both of you need to sit down, review the pros and cons, and decide together where to go.

A bit of advice: if you want to avoid the types of fights that BTC predicts in the future if you convince your girlfriend to move to Boston, then your pro-Boston argument needs to be extremely subtle. Just do your research and make sure that there are more pro-Boston items on your list of things to consider than there are pro-Philly things; hopefully (and if you did your job well), she will come to the decision that Boston is better on her own rather than you having to convince her. That way, she won't throw "I never even WANTED to come here" at you when she encounters things that might irritate her about the city.

 

[Bacchus]

From a Philadelphian for the past 4 years and the following 4 years, this city, especially those parts outside of Olde City, Rittenhouse Square, and Center City really don't have that much. Take University City, there is an Anne Taylor's store a few blocks from my campus, wow. Haha.

Opportunities may be more abound in Philly, but Boston would probably be a better place to spend your 4 years in school and a possible residency.

 

[Kaustikos]

From a Philadelphian for the past 4 years and the following 4 years, this city, especially those parts outside of Olde City, Rittenhouse Square, and Center City really don't have that much. Take University City, there is an Anne Taylor's store a few blocks from my campus, wow. Haha.

Opportunities may be more abound in Philly, but Boston would probably be a better place to spend your 4 years in school and a possible residency.

And, honestly, since when has any thing remotely fashionable emerged from Pennsylvania? But honestly, the only reason I would choose Pennsylvania in general over Boston is the cost of living. I don't give a damn if I'm living in some kick-ass city. I'm not getting anally raped for it.

 

[Druzie]

I think you two need to look into it TOGETHER and decide. Take some time to sit down and do some research about the opportunities in both places. You seem to think she is not informed enough, but in this post you admit you aren't either.

Do the research together and make the choice together. If you really want to stay with this girl then you both need to be happy.

This is the best advice here.

Y'all both (especially she) need to get in touch with people who know. I imagine fashion to be very much a who-knows-whom kind of business. Does she have any advisors or mentors in fashion? Or friends even who are already in the business?

Not even out of any particular concern for the original debate, but if she doesn't have a more concrete idea than a *feeling*... she's going to end up frustrated no matter where y'all end up. And really that's what you're trying to avoid: a frustrated girlfriend for the next 4 years.

I really think commuting for her might be a good idea too. As someone already pointed out, New York is close to Boston (and Philly too, for what it's worth). Or if she doesn't want to commute, a NY-Boston LDR would be less irritating than a Philly-Boston LDR.

 

[slowbutsteady]

Philly is MUCH closer to NYC than Boston.

But Boston is awesomer.

 

[Druzie]

Philly is MUCH closer to NYC than Boston.

True, but there's no point in him going to school in Philly if she won't even be there. Might as well have a slightly longer LDR and both be in places that you genuinely want to be.

 

[Revilla]

No, I'm claiming to believe that she doesn't have a good reason for thinking Philadelphia will be better for her than Boston.

I don't know, maybe I'm just coming at it from a female perspective. I find your line of reasoning offensive, honestly, and it seems like you're trying to make her move some place you'll be happy b/c you've convinced yourself that she'll be happy too, despite her protests. I don't think that's any way to start your lives off together. But that's just me.