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Neurosurgery & Relationships
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I'd go to www.uncleharvey.com for a more complete answer to your question, but at some programs, the residents regularly go clubbing after shifts to pick up girls/guys. At my home program, at least half of the residents are married with children (one has 5!), and a few of that number are married to other physicians.
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I found my answer... NO... at the end of the day unless you're with a neurosurgeon who thinks the world of you (and SHOWS it), it's not worth it... divorce / affairs... way too much mess. Thanks! That website was ridiculously useful.
Fascinating.
I take it this discovery was made following the acquisition of the
morning-after pill
in the absence of the morning-after call?
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forget him, he's a jerk.
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No point in extrapolating what i've been saying. But don't worry... didn't do anything stupid. Just prevented myself from making mistakes other than wasting my time 🙂
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FYI, there are several threads on UH by wives of neurosurgeons describing successful marriages. Most of the NS attendings I've met are married and many have kids. Surgeons, on the whole, have the LOWEST divorce rate of medical fields.
Relationships are what you make of them, regardless of your work.
Relationships are what you make of them, regardless of your work.
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Wow, I've never heard this... do you have a source or anything?
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Several studies and papers have been written about doctors and divorce. It turns out my memory of the numbers wasn't exactly correct, but it is more optimistic than many have said:
United States population overall: 40%
Physicians overall: 32%
Psychiatrists: 51%
Surgeons: 33%
Pediatrics, IM: 23%
Physicians married to another physician: 11%
Female physicians 37%, males 28%
That data is from Rollman BL et al, "Medical specialty and the incidence of divorce." There are others as well. JAMA has a more recent article that found no evidence that physicians are more divorce-prone than the general populace. If you trust the above data, surgeons are more stable than the general populace.
At my institution, 80% of the NS attendings are married. One is a very devoted father, and frequently attends his kids' school and sports events. Like I said, it is what you make of it. It might cost you some time in your research lab, or even some time in the OR, but IMO there is no field of medicine where it's impossible to build a stable, successful family. You just have to make it a priority.
United States population overall: 40%
Physicians overall: 32%
Psychiatrists: 51%
Surgeons: 33%
Pediatrics, IM: 23%
Physicians married to another physician: 11%
Female physicians 37%, males 28%
That data is from Rollman BL et al, "Medical specialty and the incidence of divorce." There are others as well. JAMA has a more recent article that found no evidence that physicians are more divorce-prone than the general populace. If you trust the above data, surgeons are more stable than the general populace.
At my institution, 80% of the NS attendings are married. One is a very devoted father, and frequently attends his kids' school and sports events. Like I said, it is what you make of it. It might cost you some time in your research lab, or even some time in the OR, but IMO there is no field of medicine where it's impossible to build a stable, successful family. You just have to make it a priority.
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There are many threads on UH that talk about that - but a lot of these wives seem like their life revolves around their husbands' careers. While that's fine, if you actually are making the effort to go into medicine as a female, of course you're there to support your partner, but to put all else aside?
I do see where you're coming from in terms of stats for divorce rates. But I think the key to a successful relationship or whatever with someone in your field really comes down to how grounded they are. It's a little ridiculous meeting and talking to a neurosurgeon who is bragging to you about his / her accomplishments. You entered neurosurgery. I know you're smart. Stop telling me.
From what I've read and seen during all my rotations, I was amazed to realize that other specialists work just as hard as you guys. Residency is 80 something hours a week (well probably more). Attendings seem to work 100+ hours. But what a lot of people don't seem to understand (and I apologize if I appear to be bashing this field, which I don't intend to do so) is that there are a lot of physicians doing very complicated procedures that are MUCH longer thaan brain cases. Debulking oncology procedures can take anywhere from 10-18 hours PER CASE. Being a neurosurgeon is of course special, but I think the difference between guys (and I really think this is a male over female issue) in NS and other fields, is that a lot of neurosurgeons feel entitled.
The neurosurgeons you're talking about who are REALLY in successful relationships are the ones who are grounded. They're not floating with their head in the clouds. They come home, they want to be with their family and get involved with their children (case in point: Ben Carson). Personally, like many women with a life of our own, we could care less if we saw our significant other that often. That's not what matters. What matters is how much you know that person is grounded and isn't going to just bang some chick who walks his way because he feels like he's the ****.
I'm sorry if I've made you guys look bad. Perhaps talking to one douchebag for too long was a bad idea and tainted the way I look at people in this field. Unfortunately, I seem to be the only one who thinks he's an idiot.
I do see where you're coming from in terms of stats for divorce rates. But I think the key to a successful relationship or whatever with someone in your field really comes down to how grounded they are. It's a little ridiculous meeting and talking to a neurosurgeon who is bragging to you about his / her accomplishments. You entered neurosurgery. I know you're smart. Stop telling me.
From what I've read and seen during all my rotations, I was amazed to realize that other specialists work just as hard as you guys. Residency is 80 something hours a week (well probably more). Attendings seem to work 100+ hours. But what a lot of people don't seem to understand (and I apologize if I appear to be bashing this field, which I don't intend to do so) is that there are a lot of physicians doing very complicated procedures that are MUCH longer thaan brain cases. Debulking oncology procedures can take anywhere from 10-18 hours PER CASE. Being a neurosurgeon is of course special, but I think the difference between guys (and I really think this is a male over female issue) in NS and other fields, is that a lot of neurosurgeons feel entitled.
The neurosurgeons you're talking about who are REALLY in successful relationships are the ones who are grounded. They're not floating with their head in the clouds. They come home, they want to be with their family and get involved with their children (case in point: Ben Carson). Personally, like many women with a life of our own, we could care less if we saw our significant other that often. That's not what matters. What matters is how much you know that person is grounded and isn't going to just bang some chick who walks his way because he feels like he's the ****.
I'm sorry if I've made you guys look bad. Perhaps talking to one douchebag for too long was a bad idea and tainted the way I look at people in this field. Unfortunately, I seem to be the only one who thinks he's an idiot.
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I think it is too easy to stereotype sometimes. Sure some neurosurgeons are arrogant, but that could be said about any profession, gender, race, etc. The biggest dickhead where I work is an oncologist - people come in all flavors.
The original question was, is there time for sex? There's time for anything. It's all about making effort. As a resident you don't have as much say over your life, but as an attending you work as hard as you want. If you want to make a ton of money, that's fine, but your family may suffer. If you want to balance family life more, you'll be rewarded less (financially).
The original question was, is there time for sex? There's time for anything. It's all about making effort. As a resident you don't have as much say over your life, but as an attending you work as hard as you want. If you want to make a ton of money, that's fine, but your family may suffer. If you want to balance family life more, you'll be rewarded less (financially).
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