No connection with classmates....

[yyd]

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[Jack Swift]

dont let it bring you down because if you do it will make you feel more isolated then you are now. It may take time to form the close connections you want with your classmates. When high school started, were you best friends with people right off the bat? If you were like me it wasn't until well into the year before you got to know people and by the time fourth year rolled around you were great friends with half the class. Remember that in medical school alot of kids already know eachother from undergrad but you will end up working with these students tremedously throughout the four years and forming relationships (both working and social) will come about naturally; so keep your chin up 🙂

 

[mave]

Start making/spending time with friends outside of medical school. I think it's true regardless of your age or background - it keeps you sane and you'll know for sure that your social skills are fine if you can go out for a whole evening with people who aren't in medical school, enjoy yourself, and talk minimally about school.

 

[BlackNDecker]

Medical school is 100+ people with nothing in common having to work extremely close together for 4 years. It would be ridiculous to expect to make a best friend forever (it does happen, just unreasonable to expect it).

 

[yyd]

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[Flopotomist]

Try harder. Having a few friends in your class will greatly help you be more successful. You will need to borrow notes for times when you are feeling ill, have somebody explain a few things when you are confused, relieve stress in the middle of studying by having somebody to vent with, not to mention the obvious person to help study with before tests.

If you can't find somebody out of 100 people that you can get along with, then maybe it isn't the other 99 people with a problem, but something about the way you are interacting with people.

Oh, and I am 33, and like you find myself much older than most of my classmates, but still have no problem maintaining a few friendships.

Good luck!

 

[jocg27]

Medical school is 100+ people with nothing in common having to work extremely close together for 4 years. It would be ridiculous to expect to make a best friend forever (it does happen, just unreasonable to expect it).

I don't know...my experience has been that med school is by and large pretty homogeneous, actually. Or at least a small number of homogeneous groups. Probably pretty school dependent I suppose.

But regardless, the ~100 people in a medical school class likely have much more in common than 100 randomly sampled people from whatever city your medical school happens to be in.

 

[Slide]

Friends in medical school are overrated. If you don't really click with your class, just remember that you really won't be seeing them much more when you start your 3rd year.

 

[The Angriest Bird]

As a matter of fact, 30+ isn't really old when it comes to medical school. In my school 27-28 is the norm.

Second, you don't have to be a party star to be a good doctors. Those two types of personalities just don't connect. You don't have to smile and be social like a governor candidate to be a very competitive doctor.

As for your accent and immigration history (sorry, really can't find a better phrase), I definitely share your feelings. I came to US 7 years ago when I was in 10th grade for high school. I still have accent, and it's probably going to stay with me for the rest of my life. But here's a point.

I studied psychology in college. In psychology, there is a phenomenon called "the spotlight effect." It says "most of us really think other people pay more attention to us than they really do." For example, say you walk on street and you forget to zip your pants (you are a guy). You may think 90% of the people saw that but in fact only 5% saw you. So as non-US-born-Americans, we can be pretty sensitive to "whether people react especially positively to our actions." And it doesn't have to be that way. I used to have the same feelings. I felt like I had to dominate the conversation among 5 classmate to "prove" that I've mingled into my peers. It doesn't work like that. You can be quiet. You can just hold your drink and make some random comment every 5-10min. Look around your peers, I mean the "real Americans" (another bad phrase indeed). Many of them, if not majority of them are like this.

At last, you don't even have to be social. Who says you HAVE TO hang out with your classmates? I think everyone has his/her own support group. If that's only your spouse and kids, that's PERFECT!

 

[da8s0859q]

I studied psychology in college. In psychology, there is a phenomenon called "the spotlight effect." It says "most of us really think other people pay more attention to us than they really do."

Personally, I am of the opinion that friendships - real friendships with a minimum of drama and a maximum of common ground - are things to be valued and protected, so I'll fiercely disagree with the whole "friends are overrated thing" - but I also very much agree with Good Yeast here in his quoting of the social spotlight effect.

I'm also a psych major. 😀

 

[Trismegistus4]

I'm in the same boat, not only because I'm older (31), but because I'm conservative and my classmates are all extremely liberal. If I hang out with them, I have to choose between listening to their sarcastic comments about Bible-thumping rednecks while smiling and nodding and pretending to be having fun, or constantly arguing with them. So I just don't hang out with them! I'm sure some of them think I'm weird for never coming to anything outside of class, but so what? As others have said, we only do this for 2 years. What difference does it really make?

 

[perilou]

Try harder...
Oh, and I am 33, and like you find myself much older than most of my classmates, but still have no problem maintaining a few friendships.

Good luck!

I don't know that this post really helps.

I do want to tell the OP that you're not alone. I'm 22, and yet also feel a lack of strong connection with my classmates. Do try and remain open, but don't feel like everyone is making friends and you're the lone man out. Everything will work out. 👍

 

[MDpride]

I'm not in the med school yet.
But this is about my postbacc classes at US college.
But some classes in college I feel connected the first day of the class.
With some classes, it's not until midterm or so.
very few, glad that the semester is over.
Patience works.

Read the book "How to make friends and influence people"

Pleasant and cheerful Voice is more imp. than accent

For voice "the improvement of voice and diction"

For accent " Pronounce it perfectly in English"

very good. may help.