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I have given birth several times and am still not sure where my degree will take me.
The only area that I feel like I can talk about that I know of medicine is OB. Another thread got me thinking and I would like to share. I hope this isn't inappropriate to post.
OB work is gross. It is disgusting. I am weird about my body and hate having it be looked at by anyone. I had a midwife manhandle my breasts and I didn't see a real doctor until the sixth month of my next pregnancy. I interviewed 16 doctors before I saw him. When I asked his nurse why she did OB, she said, "Because I was called by my higher power to help make sure that women get the highest GYN and OB care that my doctors can give." When you are doing your rotations, be there not for the experience but for the patients. Focus on dignity. I finally found her again and I see who she is working for now.
Hospital OB Nurses are biatches. In my second pregnancy, first natural birth after a C-section, I had nurses telling me, "Honey, you don't know pain! It'll get far worse!" F-that! What kind of a thing is that to say to a crying 20 year old? I called my mommy and she was a cooperate lawyer and she called them told them that if they didn't examine me like I wanted them to and her grandbaby had problems because of it, she was writing down what I'd told her and she'd sue their perky little asses. It was three hours after they broke my water and 9:00 when she called and they grudgingly came in to my room with the man who'd later become my ex husband-- he'd been laughing at me with them. I was 7cm dilated. I gave birth on the second push at 9:30. Who were they to call me Honey and laugh at me?
I have had nurses walk into the bathroom with me and tell me to take "(head shake) everything off, your bra, your panties, (head shake) everything." I fired one on the spot and told her that I was in labor, not brain damaged when she told me on my sixth child that it was no time for dignity. No, you can have dignity and you can have class if you are willing to help give it.
I was in a hospital ER early on in a pregnancy with what we feared was an ectopic pregnancy. It was too early to tell but the doctor said to just lay back and take it easy for another two weeks, any sharp pains to get in there. (Do you know easy it is to imagine sharp pains when every part of you wants that baby to be healthy? You play games with yourself, "Did that hurt? No, the baby is just fine. I think that hurt." It is terrible being scared.) He told me to not have sex, not douche, etc. and I thanked him as I left and a nurse piped up, "Don't stick anything inside your vagina!" I stopped everything, "REALLY? BUT THE TAMPONS SAY OB, DOESN'T THAT MEAN I CAN USE SIX OF THEM AT A TIME? AND HOW ELSE WILL I CARRY MY PRIZE WINNING ZUCCHINI AROUND WHEN I AM STARRING IN NIGHT OF THE HORNY PREGNANT CHEERLEADERS?" I must look stupid. Why would someone say that? I am still mad. That hospital lost my business because of that nurse. Two c-sections!
I hated nurses standing behind me as I stood to be weighed like a horse. (I was raised on a ranch and you weight your horses a lot.) I started crying one day and that fabulous nurse said, "Just weigh yourself. I know you know how to do it." She stood off to the side and watched me do it. No big deal. Other doctors didn't get it and said I had control issues. I felt huge, I hated the nurses standing behind me and I was high risk. I sometimes called in and didn't make appointments because I couldn't handle the indignity.
I was disgusted with how I had globs of discharge coming out of me on a routine basis and having to change pads every two hours and sometimes more. Breasts leakage a month before my due date. It was terrible to have that and have to tell my doctor about things like that. It's private! I hated telling them those things. The doctor who I loved would always assure me, "You feel like this is gross. It's healthy for you to do certain things like have the discharge. . ." He told me why it smelled bad and why this wasn't necessarily bad, he told me what my breasts were doing and showed me diagrams, he even told me how the hormones were affecting my moods. Other doctors after he retired would listen in silence as I dealt with grosser things and didn't explain and I'd just feel worse. One doctor's wife is a perinatologist and he was the worst educator ever, but I wanted to make sure I could have access to her and was with him for the last one.
Another doctor's nurse patted my bulge and told me that I was "getting a cute little tummy." I invented new swear words when I told the doctor how this made me feel. Thank goodness she didn't observe my bigger breasts and backside! What gives? You don't ever let your staff pat a women's body or say that! He said that no one else had complained about it!
Lactation consultants exaggerate everything and OBs seem to act like every woman's breasts can produce milk. . . because the AMA says that "breast is best!" And they rhyme! How clever of them. Here's a tip: not every woman's breasts are the same. Breasts get jiggled and squeezed and played with. they take the brunt of the seatbelt in car accidents+ and baby's need to eat. None of my children who were breast or bottle fed are fat because we eat healthy food. I almost starved one of my children, trying in vain to breast feed him. I got yelled at by a pediatrician for not breast feeding when my OB said it was OK. Don't fall for the lies. If a woman wants to bottle feed, don't pressure her. Tell her if you can, "I am sure you have done the research and I know you will give your baby the best you are able to give." I do yoga-- but not every body can do a back bend or full lotus-- how can they say that every woman if she tries hard enough can breast feed? Make sure the baby isn't jaundiced and don't let her feel badly for not breastfeeding!
If I make it into med school and go into OB/Gyn, I will be "the educator doctor." I will teach my nurses to knock on doors before coming in to the exam room lest a patient is confiding in me, I will make sure the hospital labor nurses treat my patients with dignity. My patients will laugh at morning sickness knowing that their bodies are making the right hormones and know when it's too much. They will know that the discharge is partly the body's way of getting rid of excess fluids and that some are the result of extra pressure in the area. I know a woman who's husband is sleeping around on her and I marvel that the gyn that we have both seen asks us about smoking and drinking habits or is at risk for depression (as is routine for the annuals) but never asks if the patient or her partner is engaged in any high risk activities that could expose them to STDs or certain diseases. She is afraid to tell him because his nurse makes such an issue of him being Christian. (The Bride of Christ shoots her wounded. Yes, her husband fools around on her, but will the nice Christian doctor tell her to be a good wife and it won't happen? Will he understand why she can't get out of the situation or fix it? She had a Christian doctor tell her that before. She is religious and likes him for it though.) They just think she is silly with thinking that any abnormal discharge is an STD from a toilet seat! She's protecting herself but she has to act like a hypochondriac.
The nature of OB work has to be just plain difficult. I think, having been on the receiving end of it for 81+ months, that if students are having a hard time and don't like it, it's because of the culture. Pregnant women are misjudged, treated like they know nothing, and the interns, not being doctors themselves, probably get a lot of the same "I don't Care Bear" attitude from the doctors and nurses who run the departments.
If you become an OB/Gyn or even just a gyn, don't throw your religious paraphernalia around your wait room. Choose nurses with expression-filled, animated, joyful faces who will not judge patients. (Some women have to sleep with their bosses or in higher jobs and can't get out of the situation. It happens. And they can't tell anyone and you may be the only person they can talk to.) Treat your patients with dignity-- I hate it when nurses tell me what articles of clothing to remove for my annual-- hello, I am 38 years old, I've had almost a dozen children! When patients are grossed out or embarrassed, talk to them and tell them why their bodies are doing what they are-- never respond with silence. Give them chocolate. The chocolate says, "I understand women!" Seriously. I was upset over some symptoms and this gyn said, "Put out your hand." He put chocolate in it and I forgot what I was talking about and started laughing at myself. He smiled and said, "You seem like you are in a dark chocolate mood." This guy can do no wrong as far as I am concerned.
The only area that I feel like I can talk about that I know of medicine is OB. Another thread got me thinking and I would like to share. I hope this isn't inappropriate to post.
OB work is gross. It is disgusting. I am weird about my body and hate having it be looked at by anyone. I had a midwife manhandle my breasts and I didn't see a real doctor until the sixth month of my next pregnancy. I interviewed 16 doctors before I saw him. When I asked his nurse why she did OB, she said, "Because I was called by my higher power to help make sure that women get the highest GYN and OB care that my doctors can give." When you are doing your rotations, be there not for the experience but for the patients. Focus on dignity. I finally found her again and I see who she is working for now.
Hospital OB Nurses are biatches. In my second pregnancy, first natural birth after a C-section, I had nurses telling me, "Honey, you don't know pain! It'll get far worse!" F-that! What kind of a thing is that to say to a crying 20 year old? I called my mommy and she was a cooperate lawyer and she called them told them that if they didn't examine me like I wanted them to and her grandbaby had problems because of it, she was writing down what I'd told her and she'd sue their perky little asses. It was three hours after they broke my water and 9:00 when she called and they grudgingly came in to my room with the man who'd later become my ex husband-- he'd been laughing at me with them. I was 7cm dilated. I gave birth on the second push at 9:30. Who were they to call me Honey and laugh at me?
I have had nurses walk into the bathroom with me and tell me to take "(head shake) everything off, your bra, your panties, (head shake) everything." I fired one on the spot and told her that I was in labor, not brain damaged when she told me on my sixth child that it was no time for dignity. No, you can have dignity and you can have class if you are willing to help give it.
I was in a hospital ER early on in a pregnancy with what we feared was an ectopic pregnancy. It was too early to tell but the doctor said to just lay back and take it easy for another two weeks, any sharp pains to get in there. (Do you know easy it is to imagine sharp pains when every part of you wants that baby to be healthy? You play games with yourself, "Did that hurt? No, the baby is just fine. I think that hurt." It is terrible being scared.) He told me to not have sex, not douche, etc. and I thanked him as I left and a nurse piped up, "Don't stick anything inside your vagina!" I stopped everything, "REALLY? BUT THE TAMPONS SAY OB, DOESN'T THAT MEAN I CAN USE SIX OF THEM AT A TIME? AND HOW ELSE WILL I CARRY MY PRIZE WINNING ZUCCHINI AROUND WHEN I AM STARRING IN NIGHT OF THE HORNY PREGNANT CHEERLEADERS?" I must look stupid. Why would someone say that? I am still mad. That hospital lost my business because of that nurse. Two c-sections!
I hated nurses standing behind me as I stood to be weighed like a horse. (I was raised on a ranch and you weight your horses a lot.) I started crying one day and that fabulous nurse said, "Just weigh yourself. I know you know how to do it." She stood off to the side and watched me do it. No big deal. Other doctors didn't get it and said I had control issues. I felt huge, I hated the nurses standing behind me and I was high risk. I sometimes called in and didn't make appointments because I couldn't handle the indignity.
I was disgusted with how I had globs of discharge coming out of me on a routine basis and having to change pads every two hours and sometimes more. Breasts leakage a month before my due date. It was terrible to have that and have to tell my doctor about things like that. It's private! I hated telling them those things. The doctor who I loved would always assure me, "You feel like this is gross. It's healthy for you to do certain things like have the discharge. . ." He told me why it smelled bad and why this wasn't necessarily bad, he told me what my breasts were doing and showed me diagrams, he even told me how the hormones were affecting my moods. Other doctors after he retired would listen in silence as I dealt with grosser things and didn't explain and I'd just feel worse. One doctor's wife is a perinatologist and he was the worst educator ever, but I wanted to make sure I could have access to her and was with him for the last one.
Another doctor's nurse patted my bulge and told me that I was "getting a cute little tummy." I invented new swear words when I told the doctor how this made me feel. Thank goodness she didn't observe my bigger breasts and backside! What gives? You don't ever let your staff pat a women's body or say that! He said that no one else had complained about it!
Lactation consultants exaggerate everything and OBs seem to act like every woman's breasts can produce milk. . . because the AMA says that "breast is best!" And they rhyme! How clever of them. Here's a tip: not every woman's breasts are the same. Breasts get jiggled and squeezed and played with. they take the brunt of the seatbelt in car accidents+ and baby's need to eat. None of my children who were breast or bottle fed are fat because we eat healthy food. I almost starved one of my children, trying in vain to breast feed him. I got yelled at by a pediatrician for not breast feeding when my OB said it was OK. Don't fall for the lies. If a woman wants to bottle feed, don't pressure her. Tell her if you can, "I am sure you have done the research and I know you will give your baby the best you are able to give." I do yoga-- but not every body can do a back bend or full lotus-- how can they say that every woman if she tries hard enough can breast feed? Make sure the baby isn't jaundiced and don't let her feel badly for not breastfeeding!
If I make it into med school and go into OB/Gyn, I will be "the educator doctor." I will teach my nurses to knock on doors before coming in to the exam room lest a patient is confiding in me, I will make sure the hospital labor nurses treat my patients with dignity. My patients will laugh at morning sickness knowing that their bodies are making the right hormones and know when it's too much. They will know that the discharge is partly the body's way of getting rid of excess fluids and that some are the result of extra pressure in the area. I know a woman who's husband is sleeping around on her and I marvel that the gyn that we have both seen asks us about smoking and drinking habits or is at risk for depression (as is routine for the annuals) but never asks if the patient or her partner is engaged in any high risk activities that could expose them to STDs or certain diseases. She is afraid to tell him because his nurse makes such an issue of him being Christian. (The Bride of Christ shoots her wounded. Yes, her husband fools around on her, but will the nice Christian doctor tell her to be a good wife and it won't happen? Will he understand why she can't get out of the situation or fix it? She had a Christian doctor tell her that before. She is religious and likes him for it though.) They just think she is silly with thinking that any abnormal discharge is an STD from a toilet seat! She's protecting herself but she has to act like a hypochondriac.
The nature of OB work has to be just plain difficult. I think, having been on the receiving end of it for 81+ months, that if students are having a hard time and don't like it, it's because of the culture. Pregnant women are misjudged, treated like they know nothing, and the interns, not being doctors themselves, probably get a lot of the same "I don't Care Bear" attitude from the doctors and nurses who run the departments.
If you become an OB/Gyn or even just a gyn, don't throw your religious paraphernalia around your wait room. Choose nurses with expression-filled, animated, joyful faces who will not judge patients. (Some women have to sleep with their bosses or in higher jobs and can't get out of the situation. It happens. And they can't tell anyone and you may be the only person they can talk to.) Treat your patients with dignity-- I hate it when nurses tell me what articles of clothing to remove for my annual-- hello, I am 38 years old, I've had almost a dozen children! When patients are grossed out or embarrassed, talk to them and tell them why their bodies are doing what they are-- never respond with silence. Give them chocolate. The chocolate says, "I understand women!" Seriously. I was upset over some symptoms and this gyn said, "Put out your hand." He put chocolate in it and I forgot what I was talking about and started laughing at myself. He smiled and said, "You seem like you are in a dark chocolate mood." This guy can do no wrong as far as I am concerned.
