Non-trad wanting a family

[nomad1234]

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Hi all,

I've been cobbling together my own DIY post-bacc for the past few years while working full time. I have 4 courses left to go in my pre-reqs, plus time allotted for studying and taking the MCAT. In the best case scenario, I can apply to schools next year, but I may have to push it back to 2021 if I can't take a summer course this year.

My big question is- are there women out there who have done the non-traditional route AND managed to have kids and a family? I'm 29 and would like to have kids naturally (if that's possible, who knows!) and would also like to go to medical school. I don't want to wait until I'm at the age where I become "high risk", but also don't want to have to put my progress in school/career to stop and have a family.

I know every choice in life requires sacrifices, but I'd love some honest advice/feedback from any women who have been there or have considered the same dilemma.

 

[Belle Melodie]

I'm still a pre med but I'm also non trad. I have two kids 8 & 6 and I've been asking around some med students. Conclusion is it can definitely be done. If you have a strong support system even better. I hear that in med school lectures are recorded and attending it not a requirement (some one may correct me if I'm wrong). I also hear something about childcare being available during residency.

 

[whorobbedthewoods]

I'll be able to tell you soon! I'm 29, starting medical school in a new city this August, and about to pop out a baby sometime in the next month. My husband is a bit older than me, and we decided to just go for it mainly for the same reason you noted--the longer you wait, the harder ttc tends to get (with the caveat that this is a VERY general statement!). My student interviewer had a baby while in med school, and she told me it had been a positive experience and that she was very happy with her decision. I'm optimistic about our situation and any nay-saying (which I've noticed always comes secondhand--"my classmate did it and it was a nightmare"--lol okay) only makes me more determined. I want a kid and I want to be a physician, and I refuse to believe or accept that I have to choose (or that the balance has to be agonizing).

My main caveat is that my husband and I are both ex-Army with GI Bill remaining. So even though we don't have much, this makes our financial situation more fortunate/stable than most--we have a guaranteed way to pay our rent and bills while I'm/he's in school. And because of our military background, we are used to being uprooted and starting over in new places and situations. I'm also lucky that he's very supportive--in order to make this plan work, he's had to make big sacrifices to his own career goals, and will likely have to continue to do so in the coming months. The way I see things right now, the biggest challenge will be finding and affording childcare.

So I think it's not that it's right for everyone or even that it's do-able for everyone. But if you really want it, and if you're lucky enough that you have a few things going your way, you can make it work. Is it "ideal"? I dunno. But what does that even mean? What family or life situation is ideal?

 

[nomad1234]

I'll be able to tell you soon! I'm 29, starting medical school in a new city this August, and about to pop out a baby sometime in the next month. My husband is a bit older than me, and we decided to just go for it mainly for the same reason you noted--the longer you wait, the harder ttc tends to get (with the caveat that this is a VERY general statement!). My student interviewer had a baby while in med school, and she told me it had been a positive experience and that she was very happy with her decision. I'm optimistic about our situation and any nay-saying (which I've noticed always comes secondhand--"my classmate did it and it was a nightmare"--lol okay) only makes me more determined. I want a kid and I want to be a physician, and I refuse to believe or accept that I have to choose (or that the balance has to be agonizing).

My main caveat is that my husband and I are both ex-Army with GI Bill remaining. So even though we don't have much, this makes our financial situation more fortunate/stable than most--we have a guaranteed way to pay our rent and bills while I'm/he's in school. And because of our military background, we are used to being uprooted and starting over in new places and situations. I'm also lucky that he's very supportive--in order to make this plan work, he's had to make big sacrifices to his own career goals, and will likely have to continue to do so in the coming months. The way I see things right now, the biggest challenge will be finding and affording childcare.

So I think it's not that it's right for everyone or even that it's do-able for everyone. But if you really want it, and if you're lucky enough that you have a few things going your way, you can make it work. Is it "ideal"? I dunno. But what does that even mean? What family or life situation is ideal?

Thanks so much! Congrats on med school AND your baby! I'd love if you could keep me updated on how it goes once you start in school and how you are able to balance everything. It's really encouraging to hear another woman say "I want both and I won't accept less" instead of "I guess I have to choose..."