So, I'm a 4th year med student getting ready to apply. I'm currently on my sub-i, and I don't know what's gotten into me. I did Child Psych months ago, loved it, and it got me interested in it. Then, I did my adult psych rotation and saw a general psych population, really liked it and thought it solidified my intention to go into Psych. Then, I did a few weeks on geriatric psych and really enjoyed it too. I loved the residents, the attendings were great, and I genuinely enjoyed talking to the patients and trying to get them through their struggles. Now, however, I'm doing my sub-i with mainly depression and bipolar and a big piece of me just doesn't believe in it. I find a lot of the patients' behavior to be lazy and I feel like my team just encourages it. Whatever they do, my attending just blames it on depression. They don't want to work? Depression. They don't want to take care of their kids? Depression? They have all these psychosomatic complaints? Depression. The thing is, though, is that she's dedicated to them, and and spends hours and hours on their care. I respect that, but I just can't believe it's all depression and bipolar.
It's also disheartening that so many of our treatments just don't seem to do anything. It has me wondering if any of this is even real. I also got the talking to from some of my relatives that I'm wasting my degree by doing psych. I didn't think that would affect me, but it was a bit disheartening. It didn't help that I saw another attending get attacked by a patient, and I'm sitting here thinking do I really want to spend a career getting attacked or stalked by patients for something that I may not really believe in? I saw depression in child psych and I believed it then. Maybe it was because those patients were kids who were really trying? I don't know.
I also have to admit that the appeal of the work/life balance that Psych has was really appealing to, but I know I genuinely enjoyed it. I don't know what happened all of a sudden over the past few weeks. I still think I want to do it, but I guess I'm just not as gun ho as I was just a short time ago. Sorry for the venting rant, but anyone have any words that could help me here? Similar experiences and feelings maybe? Thanks.
It's also disheartening that so many of our treatments just don't seem to do anything. It has me wondering if any of this is even real. I also got the talking to from some of my relatives that I'm wasting my degree by doing psych. I didn't think that would affect me, but it was a bit disheartening. It didn't help that I saw another attending get attacked by a patient, and I'm sitting here thinking do I really want to spend a career getting attacked or stalked by patients for something that I may not really believe in? I saw depression in child psych and I believed it then. Maybe it was because those patients were kids who were really trying? I don't know.
I also have to admit that the appeal of the work/life balance that Psych has was really appealing to, but I know I genuinely enjoyed it. I don't know what happened all of a sudden over the past few weeks. I still think I want to do it, but I guess I'm just not as gun ho as I was just a short time ago. Sorry for the venting rant, but anyone have any words that could help me here? Similar experiences and feelings maybe? Thanks.