Thanks for the replies...althogh Im still as cueless as ever--now Im like, ok...so not everyone is npo for an mri?!?! It's just so hard to navigate through this attending1-attending2,3,4-patient-RN-resident-dependent world. Sometimes I feel I'm dealing with the actual pathology less than 10% of the time. And then when we round, I feel everybody understands my patient better than me. And of course I find that pathetic. Aaaargh! I know I'm not really this dumb or this slow or this inefficient. My seniors are always trying to give me feedback and they were helpful, but now, I feel Im just receiving all the comments and just...receiving...I don't even know what to do with the feedbacks anymore. I just accept them and smile and say I'm sorry. Laugh with their jokes about how it's another dumb mistake. Better to laugh with the gang right...even if the joke's on me. It's so frustrating to be repeating the same errors, to forget stuff I can't imagine forgetting. It's been three months and I can't count the number of times I wished the floors would just swallow me alive and transport me back home to my couch. I even have a motto in my head now--PATIENT BEFORE PRIDE. That shows you how much I've had to swallow and admit being that dumb intern. Does it really get better? I just want it to be over, but then I think it's a lot worse to be that dumb resident. And hence I understand why people quit residencies. I dont want to quit, but I just wished I didn't dread going to work and thinking,"ok, what's the next booboo buckley's gonna make.." It's not the work that's tiring me out, but the feeling that I'm NOT doing the work. Sigh. I should put myself on NPO now pending self-esteem lobotomy. Go reread The Gift of Acabar...or maybe just Sedaris...