odd man out

[cobaltgreen]

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i am just not bonding so well with people in school. i am older- but i feel older than everyone else. there are so many cliques that i have not seen before --but i want to hang out once in a while.

i try to make myself available and people seem to like me. but the groups hang out and talk about parties that happened last night or that are happening tomorrow, etc...and i sort of stand there hoping for a little invite and feeling really really awkward. it would be nice to be asked if i would like to join in...

feeling a bit bummed. otherwise--being odd man out helps with the studies.

anyone else feeling weird about the social cliques and implications of not being part of a group? someone said that these bonding groups are very important in the 3d year for rotations.

good grief. i did not expect this from med school.

 

[PeepshowJohnny]

Honestly, I was an odd man out for the first few weeks until I straight up went up to somebody talking about an apartment party they were having that weekend and said "Hey, is it cool if I come?" Now those guys are some of my best school friends years later.

You gotta put yourself out there.

 

[soonereng]

good grief. i did not expect this from med school.

Who knows what to expect from med school before you start. I'm an older guy here as well (graduated college when my classmates started high school).

I would seriously find some friends your own age who aren't med students if possible. I'm married so my take may be a little bit different than others', but I love having the ability to talk and spend time with someone who isn't stressed out about the next test block along with me.

But we each must find our own path...

 

[njbmd]

i am just not bonding so well with people in school. i am older- but i feel older than everyone else. there are so many cliques that i have not seen before --but i want to hang out once in a while.

i try to make myself available and people seem to like me. but the groups hang out and talk about parties that happened last night or that are happening tomorrow, etc...and i sort of stand there hoping for a little invite and feeling really really awkward. it would be nice to be asked if i would like to join in...

feeling a bit bummed. otherwise--being odd man out helps with the studies.

anyone else feeling weird about the social cliques and implications of not being part of a group? someone said that these bonding groups are very important in the 3d year for rotations.

good grief. i did not expect this from med school.

I was the third oldest in my class and didn't have any problems "hanging out" with my fellow students of any age. I simply showed up wherever the party was and was well received. We had enough in common that even the youngest folks in my class "hung out" with me from time to time. The key is being a willing to participate and ignoring those "social cliques".

During third year, you are going to have a "ready-made bonding group" in the form of the folks that you will be sharing a rotation with. You don't have to be too concerned about "bonding" as some key to third year success. The actual key to third year success is getting your work done efficiently, keeping up with your reading and helping your less-efficient fellow students. Other than those tasks, there is nothing particularly "magical" about third year that you NEED to belong to a "clique". You will find that you are better if you can work professionally with everyone and get what you need.

You are no more different from your classmates than they are different from you. You all have the same academic hurdles to clear and my guess is that none of them will "bite" and neither will you. Be cordial, open and approachable. If not, find folks outside of school to "hang" with.

 

[Dr. Josh]

Is there time in med school for lots of parties, and socializing or do most get-togethers revolve around studies?

 

[Katya00]

I am older than my other classmates (and married) but I don't find this to be an issue. The other students go out and party and I'm not usually invited (though I'm sure I'm welcome) but I probably wouldn't go because I'm not really into drinking anymore. But we are still pretty close...I really bonded with my Anatomy group and a couple other students. I don't see them outside of classes often (or off-campus) but I am outgoing and struck up friendships quick. Just be friendly; you'll find that there are certain people YOU won't want to be friends with anyway. That's no big deal, not everyone "clicks". But I'm sure you'll find some people that you DO click with if you just extend yourself a little more.

 

[Crazy4F1]

some of my study buddies are becoming my closest friends...but i agree that the key is just to put yourself out there and ask to be invited or to become involved. i think rarely is anyone specifically not invited to a particular party where a lot of the class is going.

 

[nekrogg]

you are really over thinking this. most people in my class do the same.

just go to the damn party and have a good time. who cares if they dont directly ask you. be a nice guy and you are set.

 

[cfdavid]

i am just not bonding so well with people in school. i am older- but i feel older than everyone else. there are so many cliques that i have not seen before --but i want to hang out once in a while.

i try to make myself available and people seem to like me. but the groups hang out and talk about parties that happened last night or that are happening tomorrow, etc...and i sort of stand there hoping for a little invite and feeling really really awkward. it would be nice to be asked if i would like to join in...

feeling a bit bummed. otherwise--being odd man out helps with the studies.

anyone else feeling weird about the social cliques and implications of not being part of a group? someone said that these bonding groups are very important in the 3d year for rotations.

good grief. i did not expect this from med school.

For me it's pretty simple. Granted, I'm quite a bit older than the vast majority of my classmates. But, I'm simply not interested in reliving my early-mid 20's. I have friends, but they're most likely not going to become my regular drinking buddies. I already have those! lol

I understand what you're saying. But, perhaps they don't really view you so much as their "peer". This depends on just HOW much older you are though, so who knows....

Just accept that you may be in a different time in your life than most med students are in theirs. No big deal. Such is life.

That being said, you DO have to make yourself available or put yourself out there more if you want to go to events. It's unlikely that 10 people are going to be begging for your attendance.......