*~*~*~*~*~*Official Personal Statement Guide and Reader List 2018-2019*~*~*~*~*~*

[Reader88]

I'm applying next cycle and beginning to think about writing my personal statement. I know the personal statement is supposed to answer "why medicine" but I don't feel like I have a distinct moment of deciding to be a physician. It was more of a nagging feeling over a number of years.

Also, I have heard conflicting advice about mentioning family illness in personal statements. I recently heard Dr. Ryan Gray on a premed podcast say if the moment you realized you wanted to be a physician was from a family member's illness, then write about it. I've also heard advice to definitely not mention family.

Any advice for someone without a distinct "why medicine" moment?

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[The Dragon Slayer]

Do not mention

-family illnesses****
-some sort or philosophical "calling"
-the word "passion"
-an interest in science more than anything else
-saying you want to "help people" (shutter**)

The last 4 points are common themes of personal statements that are vague and just plain dumb. Admission committees are likely so sick of hearing them literally thousands of times each cycle, that I wouldn't be surprised if they take drinks for every time they see the words "passion", "help(ing) people," and "calling." The first point is a poor choice because nearly everyone who applies has a dead grandparent, or a mother with diabetes, or a sister with celiac's disease, etc, etc. You will learn about hundreds upon hundreds of diseases in medical school and you will not be dedicating all or most of your time in practice to trying to find out about the type of leukemia that was responsible for killing your aunt. Perhaps this sort of essay could work trying to get into a graduate research program, but this thesis displays/implies a poor understanding of the profession of medicine to me.

 

[Microbug]

I would disagree with the above post. I think the topic itself is irrelevant, it is how you present it. I wrote this a while ago (quote below), but if your family illness is what triggered your interest in medicine, you can write about it. You just have to substantiate your devotion to medicine through other stories/experiences from shadowing or volunteering.

First off, disclaimer: I'm a undergraduate senior (not ADCOM, yet, maybe in 20 years when I get my first real job) who has been successful applying into MSTP programs this cycle. The MSTP application includes three essays, one of which is the Personal Statement (PS). I believe (repeat: I believe), my PS is one of the strongest part of my application and since, I've been reading many PSs recently, I would like to share some ways to help you avoid major CRINGE-mines and give you some ideas to get started.

The following template is useful for those of us who are not Pulitzer winners:

Paragraph 1: Personal story that first sparked your interest in medicine

Paragraph 2: Show (not tell) a story from your experiences (this where shadowing/volunteering experiences comes in handy) that demonstrates your commitment to medicine AND/OR deep understanding of the medical field/system AND/OR qualities that make you a good physician
Ideas of GOOD qualities: patience, humility, resilience, open-mindedness, maturity, positive attitude, sunshiny and rainbow happy while riding on unicorns (caution: not word for word)
Ideas of BAD qualities: being a jerk in general and/or exposing yourself as the godsend to medicine and humanity you think you are

Paragraph 3: Show (not tell) another story that does what Paragraph 2 does (i.e the BOLD items)

Paragraph 4: Summarize your interest in becoming a physician and how your experiences (drawing from last two paragraph) show that you will be a phenomenal~~~ (one can dream) physician.

So, HOW do you come up with these amazing stories?
I'm glad you asked. First, you buy a hat, then you pull ideas out of it. But seriously, do some serious soul-searching. What I find helpful is to:
1. free write out ideas (those things that pop into your head during your serious soul-searching journey)
2. try to find a PATTERN/THEME that connects some of these stories
3. and VIOLA!, you have yourself the backbone of your essay.
***When you pick stories, they should cover one of the three BOLD items (template). If they don't, (this might be obvious), throw it out.

When you write out these amazing untold tales of yours, keep in mind the following:
If you can get your message across without any extra fancy/dramatic/flowery words, don't include them. In fact, the "extra fancy/dramatic/flowery words" are often times the most cringey part of the PS. You may think you sound like Shakespeare, but you don't.

What is the end GOAL of a successful PS?
It is essentially a persuasive essay and your only goal is to charm the heck out of the person reading it. It should lead them to think that you are the charismatic/compassionate/intelligent human being you may or may not be, until it is too late (similar to how at first, you lead your date on while slowly exposing yourself as the weird pumpkin you truly are until it is too much of an investment for them to jump ship). So, HOW do you charm the heck out of the person reading your PS. Again, I'm glad you asked. By emphasizing the three BOLD items.

Miscellaneous CRINGE-mines:

1. Getting too emotionally involved with your story (ADCOMs are not there to know your life story, they're there to know why they should give YOU the chance to a physician as opposed to the 9000 other people).

2. Don't attempt to be too creative with your writing style. Again, not everyone can be a Pulitzer.

3. This may not be obvious, but don't make your PS depressing or sad. I understand that some of us have overcame tremendous challenges to be where we are, but understand that certain topics make people uncomfortable.
That brings us to...*drumroll*...story time! I was at an interview where applicants went around the room briefly explaining why we're interested in medicine. Most people said things like wanting to help people, wanting to connect science and medicine...etc... One person started listing the diseases (quite serious ones) in his/her immediate family. I understand that this is a major motivation for the person. And yes, we felt bad for him/her. But at the same time, it made everyone SO uncomfortable. The room was silent and the director did not quite know what to respond to that and said something generic and moved on to the next person.
Lesson of the story: you want to make people feel COMFORTABLE, and that is how you make them like you. Don't make people feel BAD, or worse, try to take advantage of others' empathy for you. It is not the right way to do thing. Your chance is better if the person likes you rather than feels bad for you.

4. I can't say this enough, DON'T WASTE WORDS that adds no value whatsoever to your essay other than sounding fancy (you really don't though). Every word should be like a med student who belongs in a spot because they earned it (theoretically). Remember what we just talked about? We want people to feel comfortable.

5. Have people read it. I don't mean your bff, mom, dad, siblings, wife/husband... Give it to someone who can be honest with you. Give it to people with different background. (Think back to statistics class and bias sampling).

I will add to the post if I think of anything more. Hope this is helpful.

Since I'm stressed from not being stressed recently, I am happy to read personal statements. My first time read-through, I usually only comment on major structure/idea issues. When the essay is pretty much cringe-free and ready to go, I can edit for grammar.

REMEMBER THE BOLD items:
1. demonstrates your commitment to medicine AND/OR
2. deep understanding of the medical field/system AND/OR
3. qualities that make you a good physician


Update:
02/02: when you pick stories, try to pick moments or specific interactions with patients or others. This is the part to be specific and not generic.
02/02: your concluding paragraph should essentially be a miniature version of your PS. It should conclude the following three things:
1. How your motivation/attraction/ interest to medicine started
2. Describe your understanding of the roles/responsibilities of a physician, brownies points if you talk about that in a scope that extends beyond just treating a patient
3. Summarizes the qualities (you’ve shown through show and not-tell stories) that would make you a good physician and why you deserve a seat in med school
This is essentially what you want readers to come away with after reading your PS
02/06: What I find that makes good stories are often the harder things you have experienced. I recommend thinking about challenges or difficulties you have overcame in working with patients, then you can show how good you are at problem solving, and being patient/compassionate/resilient.

 

[Microbug]

Do not mention

-family illnesses****
-some sort or philosophical "calling"
-the word "passion"
-an interest in science more than anything else
-saying you want to "help people" (shutter**)

The last 4 points are common themes of personal statements that are vague and just plain dumb. Admission committees are likely so sick of hearing them literally thousands of times each cycle, that I wouldn't be surprised if they take drinks for every time they see the words "passion", "help(ing) people," and "calling." The first point is a poor choice because nearly everyone who applies has a dead grandparent, or a mother with diabetes, or a sister with celiac's disease, etc, etc. You will learn about hundreds upon hundreds of diseases in medical school and you will not be dedicating all or most of your time in practice to trying to find out about the type of leukemia that was responsible for killing your aunt. Perhaps this sort of essay could work trying to get into a graduate research program, but this thesis displays/implies a poor understanding of the profession of medicine to me.

I happened to hit all the last four points to some degree or another and I’m successful this cycle. PS are very individualized experiences and so generalization like this is misleading.

 

[Reader88]

I would disagree with the above post. I think the topic itself is irrelevant, it is how you present it. I wrote this a while ago (quote below), but if your family illness is what triggered your interest in medicine, you can write about it. You just have to substantiate your devotion to medicine through other stories/experiences from shadowing or volunteering.

Thanks for the feedback! Your post has a lot of helpful points.

 

[The Dragon Slayer]

I happened to hit all the last four points to some degree or another and I’m successful this cycle. PS are very individualized experiences and so generalization like this is misleading.

The point of your personal statement is to give admissions committees an insight into your personality (not necessarily to explain the reasons why you want to go into medicine and why they should accept you). You also want your application to stand out from the hoards of people writing about the former. Some suggestion for the OP that might be worthwhile include talking about his stance on healthcare, what the status of healthcare is in his area, his observations in his clinical ECs, or a general reflective essay on a patient contact he had.

 

[Reader88]

It seems like there is conflicting advice on the personal statement purpose/direction, but I appreciate the differing feedback! The three directions I'm thinking are:
1. How my interest/work in public health morphed into an interest in medicine, and why I think they're both still important
2. My interest and work in rural health
3. My grandmother's Alzheimers and my subsequent volunteering with dementia patients

Which of these three directions seems like the best way to go?

 

[Microbug]

The point of your personal statement is to give admissions committees an insight into your personality (not necessarily to explain the reasons why you want to go into medicine and why they should accept you). You also want your application to stand out from the hoards of people writing about the former. Some suggestion for the OP that might be worthwhile include talking about his stance on healthcare, what the status of healthcare is in his area, his observations in his clinical ECs, or a general reflective essay on a patient contact he had.

The point of a personal statement is NOT to let the ADCOMs know your personality, it is to convince them these things:
1. You’re committed to medicine (to do this you need to give reasons why)
2. You know what medicine is all about (reflected through your clinical experiences)
3. You have qualities/traits to be a physician (patience, compassion, etc)

the prompt SPECIFICALLY says "Use the space provided to explain why you want to go to medical school."

STOP misleading people with wrong information.

 

[SpoiledMilk]

The point of your personal statement is to give admissions committees an insight into your personality

Nope, that is what the interview is for.

not necessarily to explain the reasons why you want to go into medicine

Nope. PS is precisely a good avenue to explain this and it should answer succinctly: Who am I? Why medicine?

Some suggestion for the OP that might be worthwhile include talking about his stance on healthcare, what the status of healthcare is in his area,

Nope. Generally, premeds should not share their opinions on the status of healthcare and their stance on healthcare in the PS. It's not advisable.

 

[The Dragon Slayer]

It seems like there is conflicting advice on the personal statement purpose/direction, but I appreciate the differing feedback! The three directions I'm thinking are:
1. How my interest/work in public health morphed into an interest in medicine, and why I think they're both still important
2. My interest and work in rural health
3. My grandmother's Alzheimers and my subsequent volunteering with dementia patients

Which of these three directions seems like the best way to go?

The first 2 are very good. I would stay away from number 3 if you do not want to sound like the hundreds, if not thousands, of other candidates writing about their grandparents.

The point of a personal statement is NOT to let the ADCOMs know your personality, it is to convince them these things:
1. You’re committed to medicine (to do this you need to give reasons why)
2. You know what medicine is all about (reflected through your clinical experiences)
3. You have qualities/traits to be a physician (patience, compassion, etc)

Look, the fact that we are even having this discussion on what is and what isn't good to include in your PS just serves as evidence as to how subjective and pointless this part of the application is. The least qualified person to practice medicine on Earth could write an outstanding personal statement and vice-versa. Similarly, depending on whoever is reading it, an admissions officer may prefer a candidate who writes about a certain topic over something else. I had a mentor once tell me that he does not even read the personal statement when considering candidates for his residency program. He only looks at grades, exam scores, and research activities. I think this is how things need to change. Granted, this man is probably close to 80 by now, but I think his input serves as an example of the objectiveness in what medical admission used to be before all of this emotional/opinionated nonsense got infused into it.

 

[Microbug]

The first 2 are very good. I would stay away from number 3 if you do not want to sound like the hundreds, if not thousands, of other candidates writing about their grandparents.



Look, the fact that we are even having this discussion on what is and what isn't good to include in your PS just serves as evidence as to how subjective and pointless this part of the application is. The least qualified person to practice medicine on Earth could write an outstanding personal statement and vice-versa. Similarly, depending on whoever is reading it, an admissions officer may prefer a candidate who writes about a certain topic over something else. I had a mentor once tell me that he does not even read the personal statement when considering candidates for his residency program. He only looks at grades, exam scores, and research activities. I think this is how things need to change. Granted, this man is probably close to 80 by now, but I think his input serves as an example of the objectiveness in what medical admission used to be before all of this emotional/opinionated nonsense got infused into it.

I am just going to repeat myself here: the prompt SPECIFICALLY says "Use the space provided to explain why you want to go to medical school."

and you said: The point of your personal statement is to give admissions committees an insight into your personality (not necessarily to explain the reasons why you want to go into medicine and why they should accept you).

Conclusion: this is not subjective, you made a incorrect statement .

 

[sss1219]

EDIT: @Reader88, I realize you're getting a lot of varying responses here so if you would like to view my PS as a successful applicant to get a better idea of what schools are looking for, then send me a PM

The point of your personal statement is to give admissions committees an insight into your personality (not necessarily to explain the reasons why you want to go into medicine and why they should accept you). You also want your application to stand out from the hoards of people writing about the former. Some suggestion for the OP that might be worthwhile include talking about his stance on healthcare, what the status of healthcare is in his area, his observations in his clinical ECs, or a general reflective essay on a patient contact he had.

I agree that a family illness isn't the best subject matter for a PS but only because it is incredibly cliche. However, as long as it is secondary to explaining your motivations behind pursuing medicine, that is meaningful experiences that helped you realize your long term goals in healthcare, then it is fine. Yes, your main goal is to stand out, but your personality and/or beliefs on the healthcare system are not the way to do so (as said above, this is what the interview is meant to probe for). The way you stand out is by having unique ECs and life experiences and providing insights throughout your PS on how these roles helped to shape your beliefs and led you to find your place in the field.

The first 2 are very good. I would stay away from number 3 if you do not want to sound like the hundreds, if not thousands, of other candidates writing about their grandparents

All three points are important. Ideally, you would delve into how your work experiences, e.g. those roles like the volunteering in point three, helped to shape your beliefs and goals like those in points one and two.

Look, the fact that we are even having this discussion on what is and what isn't good to include in your PS just serves as evidence as to how subjective and pointless this part of the application is. The least qualified person to practice medicine on Earth could write an outstanding personal statement and vice-versa. Similarly, depending on whoever is reading it, an admissions officer may prefer a candidate who writes about a certain topic over something else. I had a mentor once tell me that he does not even read the personal statement when considering candidates for his residency program. He only looks at grades, exam scores, and research activities. I think this is how things need to change. Granted, this man is probably close to 80 by now, but I think his input serves as an example of the objectiveness in what medical admission used to be before all of this emotional/opinionated nonsense got infused into it.

The PS is one of the least important parts of your application and generally is read last among all things, I agree. However, if you ask any adcom on here, their answer would probably be the same: while there are no right ways to write a PS, there are many many wrong ways. I am proof of this, having been rejected everywhere my first cycle because I had a generally crappy PS with multiple red flags throughout it because I had no idea what I was supposed to be writing about. So it's fine to have this kind of attitude about the PS since it really is less important than stats and ECs etc, but I recommend everyone to have more tact than to simply think it is totally pointless. In a process where so few of us make it, the last thing you want is to write a crappy PS and give a reason for committees to throw an otherwise sound application in the trash.