Older current students...

[BeMD13]

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I'll be 36 when I start in July and when I look through the school's FB group, everyone looks so much younger than I am. For those who are significantly older, what was it like making friends? I'm moving away and single so I'm getting nervous.

 

[kraskadva]

I'll be 36 when I start in July and when I look through the school's FB group, everyone looks so much younger than I am. For those who are significantly older, what was it like making friends? I'm moving away and single so I'm getting nervous.

Well, I haven't started med school yet, but I am finishing up post-bacc and masters while surrounded by folks ~10 years younger, so...

1) It'll be fine. A lot of them are great and, bar the occasional mismatch in pop-culture references and life advice moments, you'll mostly forget about the age gap once you're in the swing of things.
2) there will be other non-trads, and also there is no rule saying you can only hang out with your class cohort. You can find friends outside of med school too.
3) but also be forewarned - you will be dishing out a fair bit of life advice if you do hang out with the trad students. Because experience.

 

[olderbrooklyndoc]

I haven't started yet, but l'll be 30 when I start. From what I've heard, some schools seem to have more nontrads than others, but regardless, people tend to become very close as a class. The nontrads I know also seem to stay close with a group of friends outside of medical school which may help with keeping perspective when things get stressful

 

[NontradICUdoc]

When I was in medical school, I was very particular who I became friends with. While I was friendly with everyone, there were 2 people who I developed a nice friendship with. While they are much younger than I, it did not matter. I was in the wedding party of one and am in the wedding party of the other. Remember, you are there to study to be a doctor. If you become friends with a couple of classmates, that is a bonus.

 

[Eccesignum]

I'm 36 myself, and current MS1. The average age of my class is 24 point something, though we have several in their thirties and a healthy number in their late twenties (and one in their forties). I'm not super-close to anyone in the class, but we're divided into smaller "academic groups" , and I really do like my small group. They're friendly and supportive, and when we do school activities together (which is often), I quite enjoy that time. I've also gotten to know people through extracurricular groups, as we share the same passions and are working on the same projects we love.

The closer personal friends I've made in this new city are people I met outside school, which is fine by me. I seriously don't want to talk about healthcare and medical school 24/7, and it's nice to take a mental break sometimes.

In the end, as @EMT2ER-DOC said, we're there to learn and we all have the same basic priorities. At school you'll find people who share your learning style and ethic, and probably gel the best with them. They may not become your ermagerd besties, but they're the people who'll help you get through. You'll find some people are quite mature despite their age (and some who are older that seem much less mature), and you'll find your niche. Explore and do things outside school too; it won't consume 100% of your life.

 

[akinetopsia]

You're going to be older than most of your classmates when you start in your mid to late 30s. That doesn't mean you shouldn't cultivate friendships with them, or think they don't want you to be included because you're the "old guy." Some may, through no fault of your own, but really we're all in the same boat and these are going to be the people you're on the wards with and possibly have long term friendships with. Most of the time your relationships with people are the reflection of how you treat them. If you treat people with kindness and take an interest in them, they'll usually return the favor.

The only way you get excluded is if you come off as aloof, disinterested +/- creepy, or thinking because you're older you know more than them - you really have a lot you can teach each other regardless of age and everyone's situation and life experiences are different. A lot changes too if you are married (or married with a kid or two). Generally in my experience, medical school + taking care of your partner and kids takes up a fair enough chunk of time, so in that setting no one will fault you if you mainly keep to yourself and your family, or at least do fun stuff with other married classmates and their partners and kids. More in common, and all.

 

[amuseddoughnut]

I haven't started yet, but l'll be 30 when I start. From what I've heard, some schools seem to have more nontrads than others, but regardless, people tend to become very close as a class. The nontrads I know also seem to stay close with a group of friends outside of medical school which may help with keeping perspective when things get stressful

+ 1 Another 30 year old here going to be starting this year.

I have the same thoughts sometimes. I've worked in research for a few years with younger and older people and I think it will be a lot like that. I've gotten to know some young lab mates who are 24 and some older lab mates who are 35 to 50 years old. We all have a pretty good time though when we get together outside of work and when we are at work, we help each other out and work well together.

 

[CyrilFiggis]

Age is irrelevant. These are your future colleagues. And in opposition to EMT2ER, I find the whole "we're just there to learn" line to be pretty trite. Whether they are study friends, superficial friends or end up being lifelong friends, you're going to develop relationships with with your classmates and second to thriving academically, I find it to be one of the most important parts of medical school.

 

[it'sabeautifullife]

Hi—I’m MS-2, freakishly old for med school lol, so my experience may not translate as well as others’ toward yours. With that caveat, here is my story for whatever insight it offers you:

I have found lifelong friends in med school, 30-year age difference and all. Genuinely having a blast with these guys. It was important to me to have, at a bare minimum, good working relationships with everyone since this group would be my colleagues for life. Beyond that, taking it to the next level and befriending them has made the experience much more enjoyable. Med school is hard. The camaraderie has gone a long way to take the edge off.

When the work started, most of our real or imagined differences evaporated. Just doing all we can to keep putting one foot in front of the other lol. There is the potential to grow quite close, especially to the little unit you are assigned to do cadaver dissections and other group work. And you will have a lot to offer as an older student, like an arsenal of funny/embarrassing/strange stories to make time pass faster when you are digging through fat together for hours.

I was concerned coming into it too. Four years would have been a long time to feel like an outsider. The young students have been beyond gracious and welcoming. They are my favorite part of med school so far.

 

[Ad2b]

The young students have been beyond gracious and welcoming. They are my favorite part of med school so far.

They are so blessed to have you, Itsa. In a few years, when ya'll are in your residencies, they will really understand how much you brought to the table. Go nail Step 1!

 

[star.buck]

Current M1, 33 years old, most of my classmates being mid twenties. I find that age doesn't really matter at the end of the day and I get along with my younger classmates just fine. The only major difference I've found is that I tend to not go and party after exams when a lot of the younger 20's do. You should have classmates in your age range, as do I, and they may become great friends or might not. The age differences isn't something I'd worry about at this point, you're all there to be doctors. Your life experiences and maturity may actually play greatly to your advantage, especially with patient experiences.

Congrats on your med school acceptance, one of the most incredible chapters in your life is about to begin. You'll do great!! 🙂

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Not in med school yet, but did just finish undergrad at 32 and work closely with 18-22 year olds. The age gap disappears when you work closely with people like you will in med school, except for the occasional instance where it comes up (pop culture references are the most common, but usually it ends up being a funny moment).

As far as being single goes, I'm married, but I can say that for the most part, being in your thirties shouldn't hurt you.

 

[Gfliptastic]

A lot to be said about the cliche that age is nothing but a number. Although, looking old enough (or young enough) to get carded thanks to exceptional Asian genes is a huge plus.

What's it like? It really depends on where you are in life. If you are mature (i.e.- spouse, kids, got really far in your previous career) it's going to be tough, and sometimes you'll feel almost paternalistic (maternalisitic for female?) and you end up being like a groovy camp counselor, where the only time you get much extracurricular interactions w/ your classmates is when they want sage advice - about life, relationships, finances. But it really won't be anything more than as superficial as that for the most part.

HOWEVER, since age is nothing but a number, and I went into med school (at age 33) no wife, no kids, and usually binge-drinking/partying on the weekends, I fit right in. If you imagine YOURSELF when you graduated from college, doing the living life/carpe diem/YOLO stuff, then you should have no worries. Cuz that's the extracurricular activities that almost all of your classmates will be doing given any sliver of recreational time.

This aspect will dictate how well you get along w/ your pending classmates. If you are the former, you will end up developing a mostly "working" relationship with them. If you are the latter, like me, you will make friends quite easily. Which you can take one step further, say you are single, and need to date. Dating, in med school is like fish in a barrel LOL Once you are "cool" you can date pretty much anyone. The microcosm of the med school "ecosystem" is a strange thing. Yet, the folks you date will probably be way younger than you are.

To go one step even further, this will be the same way when you get into residency, though it depends on the demographics of your program. You will either make friends w/ the people in similar situations. Because we have mostly the "mature people" clique, and the "single people" clique. The latter going out and partying most weekends.

 

[CyrilFiggis]

A lot to be said about the cliche that age is nothing but a number. Although, looking old enough (or young enough) to get carded thanks to exceptional Asian genes is a huge plus.

What's it like? It really depends on where you are in life. If you are mature (i.e.- spouse, kids, got really far in your previous career) it's going to be tough, and sometimes you'll feel almost paternalistic (maternalisitic for female?) and you end up being like a groovy camp counselor, where the only time you get much extracurricular interactions w/ your classmates is when they want sage advice - about life, relationships, finances. But it really won't be anything more than as superficial as that for the most part.

HOWEVER, since age is nothing but a number, and I went into med school (at age 33) no wife, no kids, and usually binge-drinking/partying on the weekends, I fit right in. If you imagine YOURSELF when you graduated from college, doing the living life/carpe diem/YOLO stuff, then you should have no worries. Cuz that's the extracurricular activities that almost all of your classmates will be doing given any sliver of recreational time.

This aspect will dictate how well you get along w/ your pending classmates. If you are the former, you will end up developing a mostly "working" relationship with them. If you are the latter, like me, you will make friends quite easily. Which you can take one step further, say you are single, and need to date. Dating, in med school is like fish in a barrel LOL Once you are "cool" you can date pretty much anyone. The microcosm of the med school "ecosystem" is a strange thing. Yet, the folks you date will probably be way younger than you are.

To go one step even further, this will be the same way when you get into residency, though it depends on the demographics of your program. You will either make friends w/ the people in similar situations. Because we have mostly the "mature people" clique, and the "single people" clique. The latter going out and partying most weekends.

Disagree completely. Gflip here is making personality into a crass, binary system of single = fun or married/mature = stodgy. Now maybe at his school that was the case for the non-single older group, but to categorically say that's universal is shortsighted. Last week my wife and I went camping with some classmates, one of whom was still in elementary school when I started undergrad. Over winter break we had a class ski trip where married partners came along. The social experience of medical school will be a sociable as you are. If you are a partier, there will be other partiers. If you want to hit up a museum or do a trivia night or something a lower speed, there is that too. But to say there is some rigid dichotomy among med students as suggested is BS.

 

[star.buck]

Disagree completely. Gflip here is making personality into a crass, binary system of single = fun or married/mature = stodgy. Now maybe at his school that was the case for the non-single older group, but to categorically say that's universal is shortsighted. Last week my wife and I went camping with some classmates, one of whom was still in elementary school when I started undergrad. Over winter break we had a class ski trip where married partners came along. The social experience of medical school will be a sociable as you are. If you are a partier, there will be other partiers. If you want to hit up a museum or do a trivia night or something a lower speed, there is that too. But to say there is some rigid dichotomy among med students as suggested is BS.

Couldn't agree more. Well said. I'm married and in med school have had the same experience.

 

[Gfliptastic]

Thanks for adding universal into my post where it says nothing like that. Must have touched a nerve for you to add your own bias into it.

 

[CyrilFiggis]

Thanks for adding universal into my post where it says nothing like that. Must have touched a nerve for you to add your own bias into it.

When you post a message board using generalities like "Cuz that's the extracurricular activities that almost all of your classmates will be doing given any sliver of recreational time" or "this will be the same way when you get into residency" you make it seem like a universal commonality for all medical schools.

 

[orthogenes]

I'll be 36 when I start in July and when I look through the school's FB group, everyone looks so much younger than I am. For those who are significantly older, what was it like making friends? I'm moving away and single so I'm getting nervous.

easy peasy lemon squeasy, but part of the reason i like medicine is it is an excuse to talk to 20 people a day in a closed room where the person wants to talk to you.... 😳


but seriously, school is full of events, old students gravitate together.... and my 3 friends that i see the most of, i actually met in the community, not at school, and they work and do real people stuff--a good reminder that real life awaits after graduation


goodness i sound like a serial killer

 

[Lorchik]

I am 36 and starting my pre-req journey. Deep down I know I can do it but a tight knot is still in my tummy with a question "Am I crazy?"

 

[aformerstudent]

Age is not a factor. I went to a Caribbean school and we had students in their 40's and 50's and we just saw each other as classmates. Making friends is not a problem and you will tend to stick to people who are more like you. For example, if you are older, your best friend in school might be closer to your age. As the terms progressed and became more difficult, everybody kind of started to do their own thing because everybody was stressed out.

Also the younger kids party more so you're probably past that stage. All in all everybody is a medical student and you all have that major thing in common so that makes becoming friends easier IMO.