So, my countdown until MD has always been years...then months...and that was okay...still far enough that I didn't feel too panicked. But last night I was talking to a patient and realized it was THREE weeks!!! I seriously freaked. Residency is heading at me like a train and I am feeling pretty insecure that I am really cut out for the whole thing...especially with a baby at home. I mean, who here really feels like they do a pelvic well? I mean well enough to have your exam have clinical significance in all of two months. I know we will learn and everyone feels this way, but man, it has me wanting to throw up. I don't even know which fluids to give people when and how to write for it. I am just afraid I will have to constantly be asking everybody everything and everyone else will somehow miraculously have learned all this stuff I didn't before they started residency. Also, I am really bad on no sleep...I mean really bad. I have been doing night shifts for the last weeks and I want to die. I don't know how I am supposed to do 24hour plus calls every couple days. I won't even know my name. I know, I know...this is what we signed on for and like I said...sounded great when it was years...months...but now, insecurity is running on overdrive. Then there is my little girl...there is no way any of this is not going to completely suck in that regard...for her, for me, for my husband. I just keep telling myself...get through the four years....she won't even remember. But I will...it just sucks. Any words of wisdom? Any partners out there feeling like graduation is not going to be such a celebration but a bell tolling the end of any sort of normal life?