Overwhelmed...anyone?

Discussion in 'Ob/Gyn' started by MichiMO, Apr 22, 2007.

  1. MichiMO

    MichiMO Senior Member
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    So, my countdown until MD has always been years...then months...and that was okay...still far enough that I didn't feel too panicked.
    But last night I was talking to a patient and realized it was THREE weeks!!! I seriously freaked. Residency is heading at me like a train and I am feeling pretty insecure that I am really cut out for the whole thing...especially with a baby at home.

    I mean, who here really feels like they do a pelvic well? I mean well enough to have your exam have clinical significance in all of two months. I know we will learn and everyone feels this way, but man, it has me wanting to throw up. I don't even know which fluids to give people when and how to write for it.

    I am just afraid I will have to constantly be asking everybody everything and everyone else will somehow miraculously have learned all this stuff I didn't before they started residency.

    Also, I am really bad on no sleep...I mean really bad. I have been doing night shifts for the last weeks and I want to die. I don't know how I am supposed to do 24hour plus calls every couple days. I won't even know my name. I know, I know...this is what we signed on for and like I said...sounded great when it was years...months...but now, insecurity is running on overdrive.

    Then there is my little girl...there is no way any of this is not going to completely suck in that regard...for her, for me, for my husband. I just keep telling myself...get through the four years....she won't even remember. But I will...it just sucks.

    Any words of wisdom? Any partners out there feeling like graduation is not going to be such a celebration but a bell tolling the end of any sort of normal life?
     
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  3. calot's 3angle

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    I feel exactly the same way regarding the immanent transition--waiting for this for so long but scared sh**less at the same time. (I'm single and have no children so I can't imagine how much additional stress that must add.) I would also love to hear some advice about getting through the periods where the learning curve is the steepest. I know that the important thing is to focus on the positive and not to forget how exciting of a time it is in our lives right now but at the same time I feel like someone somewhere along the way forgot to tell us that med school was the easy part...

    Trying to stay positive :oops:
     
  4. goodsamob

    goodsamob Junior Member
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    You are right, you come into residency not knowing a whole lot. But, the good news is that is expected. As a senior, I find the interns who think they know a whole lot much more dangerous. I would much rather that you realize where your weaknesses are, and know when to ask for help. And ask now, because it will be much more embarrassing to have to ask some of those questions as an upper level.

    The learning curve is steep, but if you have matched into a good program, they should realize this and have the safe guards in place to give you autonomy, yet teach you at the same time.

    That being said, be sure to listen well to the answers you receive. I am happy to teach, but nothing gets more frustrating than when I realize someone just isn't learning the lesson...

    As far as doing internship as a mother, well I can only speak to doing it as a third year. For me, it has meant even less sleep and a lot of thanks that I have such a supportive husband. I also have a program that is family friendly, and they often come to visit when I am on call.

    Best of luck

    GoodSamOB :)
     
  5. OBJen

    OBJen MSIV
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    I'm also have huge mixed emotions about the coming months--part of me is thrilled to graduate and part of me is terrified about how much we just do not know (great examples Michimo--I too cannot remember which fluids to give in which situation, or which antibiotic even sometimes!). It is comforting for me to remember that we will all feel lost those first few weeks but that hopefully everyday will get a little better. Any more tips on how to smooth the adjustment??
     
  6. missylee

    missylee Junior Member
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    Every time I start getting scared I think about the first time I did some scary things as a student and how in the end, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be because there were other people there to step in if I messed up or didn't know what to do. That always makes me feel better.

    yea, I thought about the pelvic exam, too. I heard some one say once that if the ovaries are pathologically enlarged then you would feel them. I'm relying on that bit of info because I've only felt an ovary once. :oops:
     
  7. tiredmom

    tiredmom Senior Member
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    I'm right there with y'all! I've got two weeks left of clinicals, then I'm just preparing to move til graduation, and I think I've forgotten more than I remember this year. I purposefully left my selectives til the end so I'd not coast going into intern year, but it really hasn't helped. I can't say for sure I've ever felt ovaries on a pelvic exam, I'm praying at some point this will all click! It also doesn't help that I'm doing a genetics/metabolic clinic this month... talk about speaking a foreign language. I feel more lost than I did during first year in biochem! Its also pretty darn scary to be filling out all this paperwork for licensure. I look at my kids and think about how much they've grown these 4 years - my daughter was two when I started, and now those long legs reach all the way down the length of the love seat!!! I just keep trying to remember that it's not 4 straight years of ridiculous hours, that there will be breaks, short days, vacations, lighter rotations.
     
  8. OBGYN07

    OBGYN07 New Member
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    I am also sooooo terrified about the knowledge that has seemed to flood out of my brain during 4th year, but is anyone else afraid of starting REAL work again? I mean, I have really been coasting this year. Will I remember how to work, and even worse, actually be responsible for it! I am definitely freaking out!!!:scared: :scared: :scared:
     
  9. imbricatedu2rus

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    I am with you! I have a little boy that will be one when I start. He and I are both used to me being home. That is my biggest concern of them all. My husband is staying home so that helps but I am sure my son will wonder what happened to me. I have heard children of OB's say that they never saw mom. Hoping my baby never feels this way about me!
     
  10. Carbo/Taxol

    Carbo/Taxol Member
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    It is really interesting and nostalgic to read all of your comments. I had my fair share of chest pain thinking about the start of my residency. In fact, I started on OB Night Float for my first 6 weeks -- a brand new intern running the board all night. As I was walking into the hospital that first Sunday afternoon, I couldn't help but feel like a lamb to the slaughter. I kept thinking to myself "can I really check a cervix?"..."what is the dose of tylenol?"..."can I even give Tylenol to pregnant women?"..."What about Maalox?....I sure need some!" These thoughts and reservations are very common. Fortunately, I had great upper level residents who eased my transition and held my hand those first few weeks. The learning curve is steep, but you will learn just like everyone else has before you.

    A residency is a training program for a reason....you arent expected to know everything...or even much at all when you start. It is up to those above you to teach and as long as you work hard and dont repeat the same mistakes and use your head everything should be fine.

    As far as performing a pelvic exam...trust me...it will come to you. You will be hesitant at first, but when you realize that you are it and you MUST find out if a woman's cervix is changing or if she has an adnexal mass...you do what you have to do. As a student, you can always fall back on the fact that there will always be a resident that needs to do the pelvic exam behind you so what you say doesnt really count. As a resident...that mentality suddenly changes.

    Good luck to all of you...
     
  11. Carbo/Taxol

    Carbo/Taxol Member
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    I have a daughter who was one when I started residency....she still remembers me and runs to give me a hug when I get home everyday. It all depends how you use your time when you are home.
     
  12. imbricatedu2rus

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    Thanks for the reassurance carbo/taxol. Do you have any tips for making the most of your time with the little ones? I figure living within 5 minutes of my program will help so my hubby can stop by on call day and so on. Please give any tips that you have figured out during your intern year.
     

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