owning an old dog

[heylodeb]

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I just spent the last 20 minutes mopping up a rather large bowel movement that my dog left on the kitchen floor for me. Unfortunately, because she can't keep her legs underneath her on linoleum, she also managed to land in it, smear it around, and slide herself AND the poop across the floor in an attempt to get back up. *sigh*

Have I mentioned that she's deaf? Yes.

Oh yeah - and has almost complete nerve degeneration in her hind end which just recently has begun to affect her front end.

Let's not forget the arthritis...and the cataracts...and the constant bladder and ear infections....

However, just when I get to the point where I think I'm prolonging her life too far, I'll walk in from work, she'll jump up and drunkedly run towards me with ears perky and smirk on her face that would make any dog-lover melt.

How can I possibly choose to end her life without KNOWING for certain that I'm making the right choice? I'm so afraid of feeling guilty for years on end. ugh.

I've been told I'll just "know." Well, how in the world do you just "know" when to end the life of your lifelong best friend??? I'm not sure that ever falls into the "know" category.

 

[heylodeb]

and in case anyone is wondering, after venting - I'm feeling much better. 😍

 

[BlacKAT33]

🙁 I'm sorry. in this situation i dont think you'll ever 100% know its the right time. especially if she has times when she is really happy to see you. luckily for me, my cat looked sad and stopped eating so it was easier for me to put him down knowing that he wasnt happy any more. for myself, ive always tried to tell myself that if my pet has ___ # of problems and is incontinent i would put them down. but it really does depend on the pet. if mine where jumping with joy to greet me i dont think i could do it. have you considered doggy diapers for the time being? sorry im not much help

edit: also, some cheap kitchen carpets so she doesnt slip on the linoleum floor. walmart has some REALLY cheap carpets and i bought one long one like the "run" type, if you have a small kitchen like me that would work well and basically cover the whole floor. they are also SUPER cheap in case she has another accident on them. i cant find it on their website now, but if you go into the store you'd probably see them. ~10$

 

[PrimalMU]

Unfortunately, I think many times by the time you absolutely, positively know 100%, the pet has been suffering needlessly. At least, that's the pattern I've always noticed. It's certainly a tough question. One of the vets I work for recommends to start keeping a diary of good days and bad days. When the bad days start outnumbering the good ones, then she recommends considering euthanasia.

 

[sumstorm]

Another thing is to consider what creates quality of life for her.

For example, my parents had a border collie to work the farm. That dog loved moving, working, running, all the time.

She started to decline slowly, part of it just old age, but other parts of it were bad hips and GI issues (despite treatment.)

My folks thought about what she loved to do...what she would be upset about not being able to do and came up with this list:

1) unable to do any herding work, even light things like moving the chickens across the yard
2) unable to retrieve a toy (she loved fetch)
3) spends more time inside than out (she hated being indoors.)
4) can't move herself into sunlight (she liked to sleep in patches of sunlight, but they started finding her shivering in shadows because getting up was too difficult)
5) doesn't want to go for a car ride (loved to ride, no matter what else happened.)

when those things happened and it was constant (despite treatments for arthritis, etc), they put her to sleep. She may have still had moments of being happy, but they did't think it was fail to make her suffer the increasingly bad days for the few moments of joy.

 

[heylodeb]

thanks guys. My general rule has always been that euthanasia will be the correct choice once she starts having problems with urinating in the house.

I completely agree with the comment "positively know 100%, the pet has been suffering needlessly." That's what I don't want to do.

It's strange because when I'm in a clinical setting and it's not my animal, I find it much easier to form an opinion on whether or not it's the correct time. I'm sure I'm not the only one with this sort of dichotomy!

I think the time is sooner then later. My sister had a really good point. Would you rather she passes away while she's still happy or when she's scared and frustrated?

Thanks for commenting guys - I appreciate it!

 

[heylodeb]

🙁 I'm sorry. in this situation i dont think you'll ever 100% know its the right time. especially if she has times when she is really happy to see you. luckily for me, my cat looked sad and stopped eating so it was easier for me to put him down knowing that he wasnt happy any more. for myself, ive always tried to tell myself that if my pet has ___ # of problems and is incontinent i would put them down. but it really does depend on the pet. if mine where jumping with joy to greet me i dont think i could do it. have you considered doggy diapers for the time being? sorry im not much help

edit: also, some cheap kitchen carpets so she doesnt slip on the linoleum floor. walmart has some REALLY cheap carpets and i bought one long one like the "run" type, if you have a small kitchen like me that would work well and basically cover the whole floor. they are also SUPER cheap in case she has another accident on them. i cant find it on their website now, but if you go into the store you'd probably see them. ~10$

thanks - we do have some sort of set up like that...(use old sheets to wrap around her bed so when she defecates in her sleep we don't have to wash the whole bed, etc... I'll go check out wal-mart though. Of course, my husband thinks the best way to manage that is to just not let her in the kitchen. LOL - she's pretty darn persistent, I don't think a metal wall would keep her from begging while I'm cooking!

 

[VeganSoprano]

I agree with the idea of a "list". There should be a handful of things that let you know she is enjoying her life as long as she is doing them. I'm also a believer in the "5 H's" of pet hospice: no Hurt, no Hunger, adequate Hydration, good Hygiene, and at least some Happiness. For me, they were a good benchmark in telling me it wasn't time to euthanize.

The way I reconciled ending my baby's life was that I knew she would tell me when she was dying and it would be my job to help her go. I didn't know exactly how that would play out until it happened. But when it's a decline from a progressive illness, you *know* when it's time. They do tell you when they are dying.

But another thought that may help you when you're cleaning the tenth accident of the week is that if you get to the point where you can't deal with it anymore, it's not wrong to euthanize. Deciding that you cannot provide a good quality of life for either one of you under the circumstances is not a wrong decision. Sometimes just knowing that makes it easier to keep going!

 

[UM2014]

Better a week too early then a second too late IMO. It's the hardest decision I've ever had to make and to be perfectly honest I'm NOT 100% sure my old girl didn't have at least a few more good days left in her but I am sure that her bad days were starting to out number the good. That's when I decided it was time. Luckily, our animals don't understand death in the way humans do. They won't be sad they're 'missing out' on future days. They live in the here and now, moment to moment.

We put my girl down on a beautiful spring day and she was having a 'good' day. I'll be honest and tell you that I really had a hard time seeing her moving around so well all day but now that she has been gone over a year I'm so very glad her last moments were good ones. My equine vet came to my house to put her down for me so she went very peacefully and in her own bed. No stress of a clinic visit or unfamiliar smells/sights. I would have hated myself if her last day was painful or frightening.

 

[Highlsnds3]

My malinois (in my avatar) will be 15 in Sept. She has just within the last 6 months started to be old, so I'll be where you are sooner than I would like. I think that we are always ready (or maybe willing?) to make the decision to euthanize slower than our beloved pets need us to. I really do think you have to look at how the good and bad days stack up. If there is ever a point where the bad start to edge out the good it's time to cook that steak dinner. I think if you wait until you "know", it will be too late. I know my heart will always try to deny what my eyes are seeing.

As far as the slipping on the floor, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Pawz booties. My old girl has decided she needs to "dig in" when she walks on the floor, these booties (pretty much glorified balloons) let her feel the floor under her feet and no matter how much she "diggs in" she doesn't slide. I do cut the rolled cuff off because they are a little too tight for my liking, but other than that they are a great, cheap fix to the sliding problem!

 

[sunshinevet]

I just spent the last 20 minutes mopping up a rather large bowel movement that my dog left on the kitchen floor for me. Unfortunately, because she can't keep her legs underneath her on linoleum, she also managed to land in it, smear it around, and slide herself AND the poop across the floor in an attempt to get back up. *sigh*

Have I mentioned that she's deaf? Yes.

Oh yeah - and has almost complete nerve degeneration in her hind end which just recently has begun to affect her front end.

Let's not forget the arthritis...and the cataracts...and the constant bladder and ear infections....

To be honest... I would read that, imagining it was you, personally. Like, you are the dog. How much comfort and joy do you think you would get?

 

[MedicalAlliance]

Well, when its your dog's time, it's his time.. and yeah, better do the euthanasia when you see that he is doing very bad.. Uhm, do you still bring your dog to a vet? You may not know, the vet can give your dog some medicines that will make him comfy.. Please keep us updated 'bout your dog.. thanks! 🙂

 

[eventualeventer]

I'm very sorry you are going through this.

I feel your pain. I have a cat - only the best, sweetest kitty cat on the face of the planet (not that I'm biased) - whom I've had since I was 5 years old. She is now 17, has had chronic digestive problems, has a creatinine north of 2, is arthritic, has muscle wasting, and is somewhat neurotic and licks herself too much. Oh, and while I manage to give her SQ fluids every other day above her protestations, attempts to keep her on any oral meds for more than a few days turns into World War III, with her squirming and scratching with all 4 paws and biting HARD when I stick my finger in her mouth to pill her.

I've already decided that adding any more medical intervention is very unlikely to have a net positive impact on her QOL. She deals with stress so poorly (gets completely stressed out going in the car to the vet, has a rigid little routine, etc.) that I do not see it as an option to ship her across the country to Davis. She also poops on the floor in the basement every day, so renting with a room mate would not be feasible. Just these past couple weeks, I've noticed that since she no longer even uses a scratching post her claws are starting to get gnarly and overgrown (I clip them, but she doesn't shed the outer layers because she doesn't scratch anything). Her senses - sight, hearing, smell - are clearly going.

I know that the best thing to do is to euthanize her before I go to Davis, since my parents can't/won't give her SQ fluids and their quality of life is already affected by having smelly cat poop on the floor every. single. day. Plus copious vomit periodically. But she's my kitty cat, dammit. She may be a frail, crazy old bat, but she's MY frail, crazy old bat. Life just isn't fair. This past week has been worse than usual, with as many bad (sick-looking, vomiting) days as good, and I'm wondering if next week needs to be the week. Intellectually, I know that things are not great and are only going to get worse for her, but I'm having a hard time letting go.

I suppose tomorrow I should start calling around to find someone to euthanize her at home in the next couple weeks, but it's killing me. I just lost her litter mate 2 years ago and it seems like yesterday sometimes.

Sorry, I'm going to go bawl in to a pillow now. Good luck with your doggy.

 

[der2002]

🙁 I'm so sorry for you guys and your pets...

When the time eventually comes, (and when we are vets ourselves), I plan on sending my pets into that "long goodnight" at home. I've witnessed a number of pet euthanasia's at our clinic, but I doubt I could ever bring my own pets there for that. And for those of you who have to consider euthanasia of your beloved pets right before you start vet school, my extended condolences. I can't even imagine.

 

[lunajett]

Sadly, I can relate to this thread. It seems like my old girl Luna has aged about two years in the last six months. We had an osteosarc scare, a bout of Old Dog Vestibular, her appetite is getting more finicky (she's always been one of those rare dogs who just has never cared much for eating) and she just generally seems more confused and frail a lot of days. And taking off to KSU in a couple months and planning to bring all three of my dogs, I worry how she will do and how stressful it will be if she suddenly heads south while I am struggling with vet school.

I guess for me it comes down to when the bad days outnumber the good. I think maybe it's easier when things go completely bad, when there really aren't any good days, or the good days are very few and far between, then you really know. But when things are still mostly good and maybe just getting worse, then you are always thinking and wondering. Fortunately, for Luna I feel like that time is still a ways off. She's frail around the house, but when we go out for romps with her doggie friends, she still has that spring in her step, tail wagging, kisses for everyone. She's still thrilled when I come home. As much as I worry, I feel like as long as she still shows those reactions, she's doing OK.

I always remember a vet I heard interviewed on NPR - forget her name, but she wrote some book, "Speaking for Spot," I think. She does a lot of grief counseling with her clients. And I remember her saying that one of the most common things she hears from people is that they regret dragging it out too long - they couldn't let go, and put their pet through much stress and suffering in a desperate attempt to delay the inevitable. And that's what I see everyday at the specialty hospital I work at. People spend literally like $20-30,000, go through months of difficult treatment, and their kid dies alone in a kennel or on the table in a chaotic ER, or two days after they get home. It's just not worth it. As difficult as it is to give up on that hope, I think it's far better to end on a good note, without pain, in comfortable surroundings, and with the ones you love. I think that's how we would all choose to go out if we could, and it's what we own our pets. 'Course, that still doesn't make it any easier when you're in that grey area counting good days and bad days.

 

[heylodeb]

yeah, I am happy with my euthanasia plan. My vet will supply me with some sedatives as a side for her steak dinner and then will come over to the house in the evening.

sunshine vet - I think you do have a good point. No, I wouldn't want to be living like that! My problem is that she still seems perfectly happy! She sleeps a lot, but when she's awake, she's pretty happy about life. exception: occasionally when she loses her balance and ends up falling or having to catch herself, she looks up and gives me this .5 second look that is full of embarrassment and confusion. Then the eyes perk up and off she goes. Speaking of living "in" the moment!!

You guys are really helping me think this through. Honestly, everything you're saying is on the logic side of my head... I've just been choosing to ignore it!

This is quite possibly the best place in the world to talk this out. I feel like as a future vet, I should be able to handle this better then others and appreciate you guys not making me feel silly (with all my crazy ramblings!).

I am starting a "bucket" list for her. I think it'll make for a fun week or so whenever I choose to take the plunge. (no pun intended...) Any of you have these types of lists for your ailing pets?

1. Car ride, windows open, front seat
2. Human Food: raw eggs, meat of any kind, peanut butter
3. Sleeping on the couch (a big NO NO at our house! 😉)
4. Getting to be off her leash in a public place (I'll pick a safe one - don't worry!)
5. 'Mom' NOT sitting at the computer all night
6. Laying outside in the sun, eating grass
7. Dog Food: Canned
.....work in progress

 

[BlacKAT33]

I am starting a "bucket" list for her. I think it'll make for a fun week or so whenever I choose to take the plunge. (no pun intended...) Any of you have these types of lists for your ailing pets?

1. Car ride, windows open, front seat
2. Human Food: raw eggs, meat of any kind, peanut butter
3. Sleeping on the couch (a big NO NO at our house! 😉)
4. Getting to be off her leash in a public place (I'll pick a safe one - don't worry!)
5. 'Mom' NOT sitting at the computer all night
6. Laying outside in the sun, eating grass
7. Dog Food: Canned
.....work in progress

i did do this for my cat 😍 My list wasnt as long because our decision to euthanize was very fast. it was like one week he was fine and the next week he looked like hell (cancer that crept up fast) so i really only had 1 day to plan this. But i took him outside in our yard on his leash. He was an indoor cat but i allowed him to lay on the deck and smell our potted plants/flowers. so this was his first time walking through the grass and exploring the open outdoors lol he really liked it!! Besides that couple hr adventure, i couldnt do much else. He wasnt eating anything (even if it were yummy human food) so i just let him sleep outside. 🙂 🙁 man it's been 6 yrs and it feels like yesterday! i dont think i'll ever get over it

 

[GSDgirl]

I always remember a vet I heard interviewed on NPR - forget her name, but she wrote some book, "Speaking for Spot," I think. She does a lot of grief counseling with her clients.

Patricia McConnell?