Someone sent me a PM with some followup questions and I realized that my response may be helpful for others. So here it is.
"It is a really tough call that's for sure. As I said, I went through the PA vs med debate for quite a while. In the end, I decided go to med school. It's kind of leap of faith that's for sure, and technically I can't say if it's worth it since I'm not even in residency yet. Med school is really hard and sometimes very stressful. My wife and I both have had our moments where we're not happy with the choice. I've had moments where I wish I chose PA school for the reasons you mentioned. Overall it's gone well though and we are happy that I'm in med school. I've met lots of really happy docs who love their jobs, which makes me pretty confident that I'll continue to love it.
I get the whole entering the workforce sooner thing, I still sometimes consider just doing three years of FM instead of ortho just so I can get working and have a more normal life again sooner. Although, I am definitely still planning on ortho because it's awesome and when I keep the big picture in mind, I think ortho will be better in the long run for job satisfaction and earning potential. I'll be 39 or 40 by the time I finish ortho residency, but I don't at all worry about stamina issues. Most practicing ortho docs I've worked with so far are that age or older and do just fine. At my age now, I feel more energetic, do better, and complain less than many of my younger and single classmates. It's all about taking care of yourself and keeping a good attitude. I go for two big trail runs a week and have a power tower at home to workout on. I try not to worry about my huge $400,000 debt, especially with ortho since I'll make an excellent salary. A lot of docs get themselves in trouble when as soon as they start making an attending salary they buy a mansion and sports car. I'm not worried about this and know my wife and I can continue to live modestly and just pay off the debt within five years.
You do have to have an understanding and hard-working wife. She will have to step it up a lot in terms of childcare and household responsibilities at times. The difficulty of med school comes in waves. This month on peds GI I worked 9-3 most days and was given a whole week off by my preceptor. Last month on ortho I worked 5-7 most days and sometimes wouldn't see my kids for days (this was at a residency program that was not lifestyle friendly). During the first two years its similar, some days I didn't have that much to do, other days I'd have to study for 15 hours straight. She'll also have to be flexible and willing to handle the lack of routine since the schedule changes so much depending on what year you're in and what rotation you're on.
It really has helped us to have my parents 20 minutes away. Having some support is super important, both for childcare help and finances. We live in an expensive area and have had to borrow some additional money from my folks since the cost of attendance is calculated for single people with roommates. We probably could have made it financially without this if we moved into a much smaller place in a worse part of town and drastically changed our lifetyle. We are thankful to have some extra financial help so that we can maintain a pretty nice life in a nice house in a good neighborhood. My wife worked as a teacher for the first two years, but now she stays at home, which is great. Paying for daycare would be super expensive for two kids (we had our second kid recently) and logistically challenging since my schedule changes drastically each month this year depending on which rotation I'm on.
Overall my wife has been happy and doing well with it all. I think she sees the big picture as well and knows that it will all be worth it in the end.
You have to go to a school that has non-required lectures. This was so important in terms of spending time with my family during the first two years. I only showed up to campus when absolutely required. This opened up lots of time to spend quality time with my wife and kids. You also have to really prioritize your family. I don't really rock climb these days, which is what I used to live for. It's okay though, I'm perfectly happy putting my personal hobbies on hold for now to get to spend time with my family. I know that one day I'll have time for that stuff again. Again, it's all about keeping a good attitude and accepting and enjoying the fact that your life revolves around nothing but kids and studying.
So overall I'm VERY happy I chose med school and not PA school. I think if you're bent on FM or something, PA school could be fine since they can do a lot of what FM docs do. However, if you think you may want to do a specialty, especially surgical or other procedural, go for med school since this will keep open the most options. It seems like ortho PA's are stuck forever doing things that 4th year med students do and there's abig difference between 90k/year and 300k/year, even if you start making that bigger number later. I'm so glad I have the option to be a surgeon (hopefully I'll match ortho!)"