parents hate DO

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radhika

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Hey everyone!!!

my parents said they would only pay for med school if i do MD, not DO.

I really like the idea of a DO, we might even be at an advantage because of all the changes in healthcare. some people are looking more at alternative forms of medicine....

my question is how to convince my parents that a DO is legit...like the same as an MD?...

they get really angry at me when i bring it up...i KEEP telling them its hardly any different...but they still refuse to talk about it....they call it "garbage" 🙁

ive always been bad at standing up for my self when it comes to my parents...never went to prom...lol...my little sister is WAY better! lol🙂

what can i say to convince them? thanks guys!!! i know ur time is super valuable!!! i appreciate all of your help!!😀
 
My time is hardly valuable:

Are your parents foreign?
 
radhika said:
Hey everyone!!!

my parents said they would only pay for med school if i do MD, not DO.

I really like the idea of a DO, we might even be at an advantage because of all the changes in healthcare. some people are looking more at alternative forms of medicine....

my question is how to convince my parents that a DO is legit...like the same as an MD?...

they get really angry at me when i bring it up...i KEEP telling them its hardly any different...but they still refuse to talk about it....they call it "garbage" 🙁

ive always been bad at standing up for my self when it comes to my parents...never went to prom...lol...my little sister is WAY better! lol🙂

what can i say to convince them? thanks guys!!! i know ur time is super valuable!!! i appreciate all of your help!!😀
Click to expand...

Did they voice their specific problems with DO ?
 
klmnop said:
My time is hardly valuable:

Are your parents foreign?
Click to expand...


lololol....and yes, they r frm india...they r computer ppl (supriseee🙂), so they dont really have a good comparison to an MD.
 
Do they care if their dentist is a DMD vs DDS? Or if you got a BA vs BS from undergrad?

There are different degrees for lots of jobs, why would they descriminate if you can do the same residency as a DO that they would want you to do as an MD?
 
radhika said:
lololol....and yes, they r frm india...they r computer ppl (supriseee🙂), so they dont really have a good comparison to an MD.
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At the risk of sounding like a bigot ... I don't think I've seen one of these threads that didn't involve Asian/Indian parents. It sounds like this is just a cultural perception.

There are definitely things you can do ...

-Show them DOs working in prestigious positions at big hospitals
-Show them DOs on TV (Dr Will Kirby from E!'s Dr 90210 is a DO)
-Do some research on all your family's physicians. There is a decent chance there may be a DO somewhere in the mix (because they offer identical care and, despite you parents pre-conceived opinion, they wouldn't know the difference).

Then there is always plan B or C ...

B: Go to an MD school. Go US Allo or have them send you to a school in the Caribbean or India. I don't know if they will feel like they've "won" and will brag to their friends when you can't get a residency spot, but who knows.

C: Don't let them pay for your school. For all intents and purposes, you're an adult ... just go and pay for it yourself. They will come around eventually, and if then don't - their loss.
 
Tell them if you can't make a decent career out of it you will pay them back.
 
 
Ask them to write down their definition of a doctor, then systematically address each factor.

Or threaten to go back to India.
 
Tell them you fell in love with a Pakistani that's going to your state MD school.
 
How about you just pay for your own medical school if you're so upset over your parent's decision? 😕 It is THEIR money, after all. They can be as short-sighted as they wish.
 
vin5cent0 said:
How about you just pay for your own medical school if you're so upset over your parent's decision? 😕 It is THEIR money, after all. They can be as short-sighted as they wish.
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Its about beating the system, you can't just roll over. If you are set on DO and will piss them off anyway, you might as well try and convince them to pay for it.
 
Just do MD and convince these other people to offer CME in OMM for us...

I was set on DO, but I'll be going to an MD school. My husband was accepted to a graduate school in the same state as an MD school I was accepted to. It's practical. So is getting through medical school without crippling debt.
 
Do we know the OP's stats? If so, then it could just be a matter of where the OP is applying - let the parents see the rejection letters from the MD schools and the acceptances from the DO schools. At that point, it will be DO vs Caribbean. That was basically how I handled the DO vs MD situation when one of my parents didn't completely understand why I was interested in DO.
 
Wow, if i was in your shoes, i would definitely do something to get in MD...unless you really want to become a DO. Seriously, graduating with minimum debt would be a success but graduating with no debt would be awesome. I worked for nearly one year just to have enough money to pay for rent and books and hopefully some food for one year. 😡

My parents didn't know what DO was either. and they are foreign also. I told them in America, its your quality of work in hospitals than your credentials that really counts. Sure a M.D from Harvard maybe benefit you somewhat but in reality I as a patient goto a doctor who is more compassionate and truly care for me than a some prestigious graduate physician who thinks he is up there than the rest of us. Where I am from originially, name of a school is truly everything. But, luckily this is america and we have much much more opportunities. 👍
 
radhika said:
Hey everyone!!!

my parents said they would only pay for med school if i do MD, not DO.

I really like the idea of a DO, we might even be at an advantage because of all the changes in healthcare. some people are looking more at alternative forms of medicine....

my question is how to convince my parents that a DO is legit...like the same as an MD?...

they get really angry at me when i bring it up...i KEEP telling them its hardly any different...but they still refuse to talk about it....they call it "garbage" 🙁

ive always been bad at standing up for my self when it comes to my parents...never went to prom...lol...my little sister is WAY better! lol🙂

what can i say to convince them? thanks guys!!! i know ur time is super valuable!!! i appreciate all of your help!!😀
Click to expand...

Have your sister talk to them for you. If you're having a problem standing up to them, you need someone who can stand up to them for you and fight for you.

But it's true...they worked for their money and if they really don't want to invest in a DO school, then they have that right to refuse you.

Good luck to you, though. I hope you can bring them to their senses, because a free ride would be AMAZING.
 
The real issue here is your parents should NOT be paying for your medical school. You're an adult now. Welcome to the real world. Let mommy and daddy keep their hard earned money. This will allow you, as an adult, to do what you feel appropriate.

The other option of course, is to just go to an MD school, accept the money and realize your parents will never see DO in the same light. When is the last time you have seen an Asian parent completely side with the kid and tell them they were right?


radhika said:
Hey everyone!!!

my parents said they would only pay for med school if i do MD, not DO.

I really like the idea of a DO, we might even be at an advantage because of all the changes in healthcare. some people are looking more at alternative forms of medicine....

my question is how to convince my parents that a DO is legit...like the same as an MD?...

they get really angry at me when i bring it up...i KEEP telling them its hardly any different...but they still refuse to talk about it....they call it "garbage" 🙁

ive always been bad at standing up for my self when it comes to my parents...never went to prom...lol...my little sister is WAY better! lol🙂

what can i say to convince them? thanks guys!!! i know ur time is super valuable!!! i appreciate all of your help!!😀
Click to expand...
 
mspeedwagon said:
The real issue here is your parents should NOT be paying for your medical school. You're an adult now. Welcome to the real world. Let mommy and daddy keep their hard earned money. This will allow you, as an adult, to do what you feel appropriate.
Click to expand...

LOL, sorry you've paid your own way, but seriously ... I'd take advantage of an offer like this. It's easy to say "I'll just have 250k at 7% interest accumulating every year, I'll be a doctorz making da big bling," but debt is a huge, huge problem. I mean I get not wanting to put your parents in debt, and taking responsibility, etc, ... but your parents are "adults" too. They know finances far better than you. Put some emphasis on that.
 
radhika said:
Hey everyone!!!

my parents said they would only pay for med school if i do MD, not DO.

I really like the idea of a DO, we might even be at an advantage because of all the changes in healthcare. some people are looking more at alternative forms of medicine....

my question is how to convince my parents that a DO is legit...like the same as an MD?...

they get really angry at me when i bring it up...i KEEP telling them its hardly any different...but they still refuse to talk about it....they call it "garbage" 🙁

ive always been bad at standing up for my self when it comes to my parents...never went to prom...lol...my little sister is WAY better! lol🙂

what can i say to convince them? thanks guys!!! i know ur time is super valuable!!! i appreciate all of your help!!😀
Click to expand...

Perhaps they will understand this:



# include <iostream>
using namespace std;

int main(void)
{

PA != DO

return 0;
}
 
I would try to get into MD school first. If that is not possible but you are able to get into DO school, then go DO. Take out the student loans and over the next several years, reassure your parents that you will be a more than adequate physician. Maybe they will pay off your loans in the end!
 
Find an established Indian physician in your community, get him to say MD=DO and they'll believe him. I know this sounds ridiculous, but sometimes things mean more when someone you can identify with culturally tells you something.

My dad was turned off to it at first, but when one of his Indian friends who is over a hospitalist practice in NC said "I'd hire him in a heartbeat when he finishes" my dad instantly supported my decision.

However, he wasn't nearly as opposed as your parents, he just had his reservations because he'd never heard of a DO before.

PS - I agree with the posters above, don't expect them to fork out 150k dollars for your medical education. You'll make enough on your own to pay back the loan debt.
 
Something I haven't seen mentioned yet is showing them all of the DOs matching into MD residencies. A lot of residency programs list the people in each year of residency, including their degree (MD/DO). Similarly, a lot of DO schools publish match lists for their students that indicate what programs people matched into. This most recent match alone, AZCOM had somebody match into Baylor's rad onc program and another into Mayo's derm program, both of which are pretty big deals.
 
What NC says is very true. I am asian indian and when my parents found out I applied to DO school all hell broke loose. First off, I already have a PharmD and they could not understand why I wanted to be a chiropractor! On top of that, a jackass uncle of mine who is a well known surgeon told them DO was crap. It is just the indian mind set. Eventually, I sat them down and showed them what a DO is. They asked if I could be any sort of physician and I said yes. They were alright with it. In the end, they told my uncle to shut his trap and stop being jealous! GL
 
My Dad, my Mom, and my sister are all MDs. When I told them I wanted to be a DO, they knew it would to be fine because they work right next to a bunch of very talented DOs. They make the same amount of money, and they are just as qualified(sometimes even more so) than their MD counterparts. You should really get someone in your family to talk to an MD. Most MDs will tell you they know plenty of DOs that are great doctors(unless they are complete jack****). In the end it's your decision, and I promise you that your parents will come around. Your gonna be a doctor for cryin out loud, it's not like your not making something of yourself.
GOOD LUCK!!!
 
JaggerPlate said:
LOL, sorry you've paid your own way, but seriously ... I'd take advantage of an offer like this. It's easy to say "I'll just have 250k at 7% interest accumulating every year, I'll be a doctorz making da big bling," but debt is a huge, huge problem. I mean I get not wanting to put your parents in debt, and taking responsibility, etc, ... but your parents are "adults" too. They know finances far better than you. Put some emphasis on that.
Click to expand...

I don't get why debts are a huge huge problem. I agree it is a burden but not a problem. I have 70k from undergrad and will have an additional 220k from med school and am not worried at all. If you figure I will be paying 600k total with interest over the course of the loan than an easy calculation will show it isn't a problem. Where I want to practice in a non competitive speciality the average income is 300k per year, I know many specialties make way more than this. So if you take 30k per year over 20 years or 20k per year over 30 years the loan will be payed OFF IN FULL. Your telling me 270k per year before taxes is bad? I know that is 9x what the average American makes!! And or those going into primary care specialties there are MANY programs that will pay for your tuition. I would say the same if it were 200k instead of 300k which would end up me making 5x the average person. Lastly I took the extreme case for paying off my loan it can be done inmuch shorter time especially with loan reform now, so I wish more people wouldn't complain as much about loans.
 
RELAX11 said:
I don't get why debts are a huge huge problem. I agree it is a burden but not a problem. I have 70k from undergrad and will have an additional 220k from med school and am not worried at all. If you figure I will be paying 600k total with interest over the course of the loan than an easy calculation will show it isn't a problem. Where I want to practice in a non competitive speciality the average income is 300k per year, I know many specialties make way more than this. So if you take 30k per year over 20 years or 20k per year over 30 years the loan will be payed OFF IN FULL. Your telling me 270k per year before taxes is bad? I know that is 9x what the average American makes!! And or those going into primary care specialties there are MANY programs that will pay for your tuition. I would say the same if it were 200k instead of 300k which would end up me making 5x the average person. Lastly I took the extreme case for paying off my loan it can be done inmuch shorter time especially with loan reform now, so I wish more people wouldn't complain as much about loans.
Click to expand...

I read ur post and looked at your user name and i chuckled..:laugh:
 
I'm ok with the OP taking the money, but if he/she take the money then they have no option but to follow your parents wishes.

Choice A: Take the money and follow your parents wishes.
Choice B: Pay yourself and follow your own wishes.

Quite honestly, if I had the luxury of A, I'd take it. In the long run DO vs MD won't matter. For me personally, the only option is B.

As far as the folks finances are concerned, they will be 200,000 poorer after this than they were (assuming they pay) regardless of their net worth.

JaggerPlate said:
LOL, sorry you've paid your own way, but seriously ... I'd take advantage of an offer like this. It's easy to say "I'll just have 250k at 7% interest accumulating every year, I'll be a doctorz making da big bling," but debt is a huge, huge problem. I mean I get not wanting to put your parents in debt, and taking responsibility, etc, ... but your parents are "adults" too. They know finances far better than you. Put some emphasis on that.
Click to expand...
 
sideways said:
Tell them you fell in love with a Pakistani that's going to your state MD school.
Click to expand...


hahahahaaa.....i totally should!!! 🙂

i really like the idea of telling them about amazing DOs, i thinkl that will help the most

also...i wish my parents would pay for all of it....but they said they would "help"...means less than half...the rest i would take a loan for...they did pay for all of hs and college, but i need to pay them back at some point...🙂

i totally should have my sister argue for me...she's so friggin good at it!!!!

i understand its their money, but their reason for not "helping me out" money-wise is silly!!! DO does NOT = a PA!!!! ahhhh!!!!!

thanks guys!!!!! u rock!!!!!!

btw, i have not ben accepted anywhere yet...my stats are more competitive for DO schools...🙂

VCU: awesome!!!! im so glad u shut ut uncle up!!!! for the record, i think all india ppl have an evil uncle...lol Congrats!!!!

thanks klmnop!!!😀

awesome links GuitarFreak!!!! u always help meee!!! thanks!!!!🙂


hey TeamZissou! i try n tell them the SAME EXACT argument!!!!!! u would think it would work!!!!

my Dad gets home tomorrow...ill try these out!!!!! thanks sooo MUCH!!!! I'll let everyone know how it goes!!!!😳

thanks bunches for the awesomeee help!!!!!!!!🙂🙂🙂
 
ncguy2005 said:
Find an established Indian physician in your community, get him to say MD=DO and they'll believe him. I know this sounds ridiculous, but sometimes things mean more when someone you can identify with culturally tells you something.
Click to expand...

Haha, this is exactly how my dad and my older brother got convinced at the mosque when one of the MDs told him that I would make a good physician regardless of DO or MD. I had a really hard time in the beginning trying to convince them and I reminded them that the only reason we came to America is so I would get my education over here and it completely beats the point if I dont get my medical education in America...:idea:
 
Wow, your parents are gonna pay for med school? 😱 I'm jealous of you!
 
cardiackid88 said:
Do we know the OP's stats? If so, then it could just be a matter of where the OP is applying - let the parents see the rejection letters from the MD schools and the acceptances from the DO schools. At that point, it will be DO vs Caribbean. That was basically how I handled the DO vs MD situation when one of my parents didn't completely understand why I was interested in DO.
Click to expand...

Let me tell you a TRUE story about the doc that I've currently shadowed. He is Indian and he told me he forced his daughters to go to Caribbean schools over DO! 😱
 
In this case, it's easy. Apply to both M.D. and D.O. schools. If you only get into an D.O. program and not an M.D. program, tell yours parents that you have the option of becoming a witch-doctor or no doctor at all 🙄. We all know that Asian parents want their kids to become doctors. And, yes I was being sarcastic with the witch doctor part (I'm personally planning to apply to my state schools and then D.O. schools only).


radhika said:
btw, i have not ben accepted anywhere yet...my stats are more competitive for DO schools...🙂
Click to expand...
 
Last edited:
mspeedwagon said:
The real issue here is your parents should NOT be paying for your medical school. You're an adult now. Welcome to the real world. Let mommy and daddy keep their hard earned money. This will allow you, as an adult, to do what you feel appropriate.

The other option of course, is to just go to an MD school, accept the money and realize your parents will never see DO in the same light. When is the last time you have seen an Asian parent completely side with the kid and tell them they were right?
Click to expand...

Why not? The only reason people feel this way is that there parents won't pay for their education. But if any one of us had our parents willing to pay, we would do it in a heartbeat.
 
Interestingly enough, my family (siblings) offered to pay for a part of my medical education (assuming I get in) and I have made clear my intention to turn them down. Personally, I feel they helped me a lot in paying for high school / college. I strongly feel that family should be responsible for paying till college and NOT for professional school (or graduate school). I also feel strongly that parents should be responsible for paying for college.

Once you cross 21, it's time to learn financial responsibility for yourself. Learning these lessons young helps immensely as you grow older.

I might be in a different boat than the OP though, since I'm older (26) and I've already saved up for my first two years of medical school.


alibai3ah said:
Why not? The only reason people feel this way is that there parents won't pay for their education. But if any one of us had our parents willing to pay, we would do it in a heartbeat.
Click to expand...
 
radhika said:
nope...thats the problem!!! they keep saying its like a PA, and that ppl will not 'respect' a DO...ughhhhhhhhh
Click to expand...

Tell them it doesn't matter if they think other people will respect you as a DO because whats more important is that your own parents won't respect you... not even enough to make your own decision.
 
radhika said:
Hey everyone!!!

my parents said they would only pay for med school if i do MD, not DO.

I really like the idea of a DO, we might even be at an advantage because of all the changes in healthcare. some people are looking more at alternative forms of medicine....

my question is how to convince my parents that a DO is legit...like the same as an MD?...

they get really angry at me when i bring it up...i KEEP telling them its hardly any different...but they still refuse to talk about it....they call it "garbage" 🙁

ive always been bad at standing up for my self when it comes to my parents...never went to prom...lol...my little sister is WAY better! lol🙂

what can i say to convince them? thanks guys!!! i know ur time is super valuable!!! i appreciate all of your help!!😀
Click to expand...

Really? Alternative form of medicine? It seems to me that your parents are not the only ones who are clueless about DO.
 
as an alternative, i suggest passive resistance, À la

gandhi.gif

 
alibai3ah said:
Why not? The only reason people feel this way is that there parents won't pay for their education. But if any one of us had our parents willing to pay, we would do it in a heartbeat.
Click to expand...


Exactly, because many say "my goal was to take care of you through high school/age 18/college/insert milestone, and I did that. Now if you want it get out there and make it happen." Plus, things get sticky when parents want to give things conditionally, i.e. give you whatever money you need and then run your life for having given you the money you needed. I can't judge OP's parents, but they're obviously dragging the power of their financial balls around, dictating what OP can/not do with their money. The money will never be OP's, only another obligation to do what the parents wanted. I've been there. No thank you.

OP, you gotta do what you gotta do. If you really want DO, then fight for it. There are thousands of doctors out there who had to take out loans, and they're still above water. Not all of them, mind you, but it can be done, and you just might be the one to do it. If you don't mind using some of their money, no matter the conditions, then apply MD. You just have to figure out what you're willing to do to get what you want, be that the money for MD or a career as a DO.
 
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