Pathology jokes

[BlondeDocteur]

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Pathology is the most religious specialty, since...

We rely so heavily on (a) higher power.



Your turn.

 

[coroner]

😆

A psychiatrist, internist, surgeon, and pathologist go on a duck hunting trip. While waiting near the pond, a flock of birds files off and they all shoot. They hit one, but aren't sure what kind of bird it is because it looks different than the types of ducks native to that area.

The psychiatrist says, "Well, based on how that flock was swimming together and and their flight pattern when they flew off, that is classic behavior for ducks!"

The internist says, "Let's sample some feathers and run a bunch of blood tests. Then we'll know if it's a duck!"

The surgeon looks confused, hands the dead bird to the pathologist and asks, "Is this a duck?"

 

[Mud]

Did you hear about the outgoing pathologist?
He stares at YOUR shoes when he talks!

 

[mlw03]

Ok, this is admittedly pretty crass, so read on at your own risk:



What are the three types of doctors who should never, ever engage in sexual relations with their patients?

Psychiatrists, veterinarians, and forensic pathologists.

 

[WEBB PINKERTON]

What do you call an 85 year old pathologist?

A mid-career professional.

 

[Pathologee]

How do you tell a pathologist that he has a burned out headlight?

It doesn't matter. He leaves everyday at 330.

 

[gbwillner]

Did you hear about the outgoing pathologist?
He stares at YOUR shoes when he talks!

Ya beat me to it!

 

[KLPM]

What are the three types of doctors who should never, ever engage in sexual relations with their patients?

Psychiatrists, veterinarians, and forensic pathologists.

I would normally add geriatricians and paediatricians too. But the former is up for debate.

 

[Tissue issue]

I like the hunting story too. My favorite version:

An internist, radiologist, surgeon and pathologist are walking in the forest. The internist says "something is flying over us". The radiologist says "it could be a duck or maybe a turkey... or maybe a hawk."

The surgeon, losing patience, grabs his shotgun and blasts the thing out of the sky. The surgeon then turns to the pathologist and says "go find out what that thing was!"

 

[BlondeDocteur]

Forensic pathology is the best! Their patients are the coolest!