I was in clinic with one of our best urologists during med school. We had a patient who's complaint was that his penis was disappearing. Dr. N looked at him seriously and said "your penis isn't going anywhere, you're just getting fat, and if you want to see it again lose the fifty pounds you've gained." I about peed my pants trying not to laugh out loud.
a doctor walks into an exam room to give a patient the results of his CT scan after a bladder biopsy....
He says, "Sir, I have some very good and very bad news"
Patient: "Doctor, give me the bad news first"
Doctor: "Sir, you have aggressive, metastatic bladder cancer, there is cancer in your liver and lungs. I fear you have less than a year to live"
Patient: "Oh my God, that is terrible... wait, what is the very good news?"
Doctor: "You know Sally, the young blonde who took your credit card and insurance information at the front desk? She told me that she likes me!"
Patient comes in for a cystoscopy for my attending's first case as a med student. He fails to thoroughly review the chart and goes in to take the H&P. The patient is very nervous about the procedure and is visibly anxious. The attending (as a med student) tries to reassure the patient by telling him that he won't feel much pain in his oesophagus because of the anaesthesia...but before he finishes the sentence, the pt passes out and drops to the floor.
As the nurses are rolling on the floor laughing, he realizes he thought the patient was there for gastric endoscopy.
Opening up the Amusement park?! Without protection? What about STDs/STIs?
more on pt with the topic, here's a joke: A man is having problems with his penis. He consults a urologist. Urologist says, "Sorry, but you've overdone it the last 30 years. Your dick burned out; you only have 30 erections left in your penis."
The man walks home. his wife is already expecting him at the front door and asks him what the doctor said concerning his problem. He tells her what the doc told him. She says, "Oh no, only 30 times! We shouldn't waste that. We should make a list!"
He replies, "Yes, I already made a list on the way home. Sorry, your name isn't on it."