Personal Essay Help

[jabeck74]

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I wrote what I thought was a pretty good personal essay last year, but a friend of mine read it and said it sucked. It was too dry and uncompelling. I know you have to differentiate yourself since the committee reads hundreds of essays. I have several personal anecdotes that tell a lot about myself and my character, but I really don't know how to incorporate them into dentistry as a profession. For example, I grew up on a farm and learned hard work and responsibility from a very young age. How do I incorporate that into the essay without sounding trite and folksy. I am also a cancer survivor, but don't want to sound like I'm trying to make people feel sorry for me. Basically, how can I get my personal anecdotes into the essay and relate it to dentistry.

Thanks

jb