Personal Issues?

[teatime]

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I have a question to pose about what/what not to reveal in a personal statement or interview concerning personal issues that one's had to deal with. My question is more related to whether you included those things that should have really affected you negatively, but actually helped you in that they gave you more strength and a stronger, clearer vision of your future and dedication to getting into vet school.

I hate to put all my stuff out there, but maybe I should explain....*sigh. My boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic, and over this past Christmas while I was visiting family he had a relapse. Now, during this time he was also hospitalized because he was mugged (someone cracked him over the head with a baseball bat and he suffered a subdermal hematoma) and as a result, ended up missing a court date for a case that hes been fighting for almost a year now. He ended up being re-arrested because of this failure to appear and has been in jail for the past two months awaiting resolution of this case. Dealing with the aftermath of the relapse has been emotionally trying, to say the least. So basically, the first half of this year has really, really sucked for me. In addition to getting little support from friends and family, I'm slowly losing my best friend.

Now, to the good part. Seeing all of this happen really awakened me to the uncertainty of anyone's future. Instead of withdrawing into myself and suffering severe depression, I got a new job working for a vet and have been doing really well in my pre-vet courses. Everything seemed to fall into place for me, and I got this renewed vigor to make sure I live up to my potential and get into vet school to follow my dreams.

So, I guess my question is, would this be something I could potentially bring up. Has anyone else discussed something very personal like this? My concern is that if I do, I will be questioned as to why I'm with this person who has a lack of "moral turpitude." I just don't want to be guilty by association.

For everyone that got through all that, thanks for reading. I appreciate any positive feedback. Thanks!

 

[Bearby]

From reading what you wrote, you've definitely had a rough time but it sounds like it hasn't affected your school work. If this is the case, I'm not sure if it's needed to explain the circumstances. If your grades were suffering due to the stress and emotional draining that you've been though I would say that it would definitely be worth trying to phrase into your personal statement or at least the explanation section of VMCAS.

 

[BlacKAT33]

would you mind revealing your stats? like bearby said, if your grades arent being affected i wouldnt mention anything. especially because it is mostly related to your bf (i know it affects you do...but as much as it has...it is still indirect). And also, one C is not bad lol I mean, a really bad semester or a GPA that is below 3.0 . Also, dunno if i missed this, but when are you applying? how much time do you have left?

 

[teatime]

Oh, my GPA is good. My overall by the time I apply will be 3.6, science will be 3.72, and last 45 will probably be around 3.75. My GRE was 560V/640Q.

Yeah, I figured if its not affecting my performance negatively I shouldn't mention it. But at the same time I want to show how adaptable and well I perform even with stressful circumstances.

 

[Minnerbelle]

Unless you can condense that story down to a couple short sentences in such a way as to show why you would make a great vet because of it, why you want to do vet med because of it, etc... I'd leave it out. I think it could be alright in passing, if you're talking about your strength as a person, etc... but I would not make a whole big section on it. You only have so many characters you can use. Spending 1000 characters on that means 1000 less characters you could be using to say why vet school should take you.

If anything, talk about it in your supplementals that have extra questions about your personality. Or, if you really feel like you need to use that in an explanation statement for something you could... but I wouldn't unless you needed something to explain away.

As for putting very personal things in the app... I definitely did in my supplemental essays! I even wrote about my ex's infidelity issues and my sad stupid decision to continue living with him, sharing a bedroom no less, despite the fact. I was asked about it during the interview too (talk about mortifying), but I was pretty much offered a seat on the spot, so I think as long as you put these things in appropriate places if should be fine.

 

[BlacKAT33]

Oh, my GPA is good. My overall by the time I apply will be 3.6, science will be 3.72, and last 45 will probably be around 3.75. My GRE was 560V/640Q.

Yeah, I figured if its not affecting my performance negatively I shouldn't mention it. But at the same time I want to show how adaptable and well I perform even with stressful circumstances.

OOOoo ok, i think bearby and i thought you wanted to bring it up in the explanation statement. Your GPA is good!!! i think if you want to talk about how this has made you adapt and perform through stress you can in your personal statement. However, I think you will also find that the word limit on the personal statement is really short and you probably won't want to waste time talking about this when you will have so many other things to mention (animal and vet experience). I'm sure you can describe these same characteristics while also threading it into your PS with relevant examples

 

[Nephromaniac]

Unless you can condense that story down to a couple short sentences in such a way as to show why you would make a great vet because of it, why you want to do vet med because of it, etc... I'd leave it out. I think it could be alright in passing, if you're talking about your strength as a person, etc... but I would not make a whole big section on it. You only have so many characters you can use. Spending 1000 characters on that means 1000 less characters you could be using to say why vet school should take you.

If anything, talk about it in your secondaries that have extra questions about your personality. Or, if you really feel like you need to use that in an explanation statement for something you could... but I wouldn't unless you needed something to explain away.

As for putting very personal things in the app... I definitely did in my secondaries! I even wrote about my ex's infidelity issues and my sad stupid decision to continue living with him, sharing a bedroom no less, despite the fact. I was asked about it during the interview too (talk about mortifying), but I was pretty much offered a seat on the spot, so I think as long as you put these things in appropriate places if should be fine.

I pretty much agree w/ this... I'm not sure the personal statement would be the right place, b/c I think you'd need to do too much explaining to relate it to your growth, & I think if you did explain it, you wouldn't have time to include all the other necessary parts. However, I also included a very personal story in a supplemental question, & think it would definitely be fine to include it there if there was a question that lent itself to it (which there usually is if the sup has any essay type Q's).

On another note, I hope things work out ok in the end for you both, & kudos for making a negative situation change you for the better instead of letting it change you for the worse!

 

[twelvetigers]

Many schools have supplemental essays to write about a variety of topics. I can easily see this fitting into an essay about overcoming challenges, dealing with stress, etc. Wait and see if you find the opportunity to use it, but don't make it a focus in your PS.

 

[StartingoverVet]

Slightly different take here....

The personal statement is an opportunity to "market" yourself, it is not a school assignment. You should always include what is best for you. If you feel that this shows your strength of character (it does), if it makes you stand out from the typical weak-willed applicant who collapses at the first sign of trouble (it does), and shows you are more likely to be able to survive the vicissitudes of vet school (it does) then you certainly should list it.

What you put in your personal statement is what you think makes you special. That is some pretty good fortitude you have there. IMO, that is a lot more interesting to an adcom than reading about someone's shadowing experience for the 1000th time. Should it be the whole thing? Of course not, but it can be an item of emphasis.

What it takes to make someone a successful vet is going to vary from person to person and there is no formula to answer the question. What catches the adcoms committee is even more nebulous. I say go with something that makes you stand out (in a good way). Just make sure it leaves a positive impression and answers the overall question.

 

[teatime]

Slightly different take here....

The personal statement is an opportunity to "market" yourself, it is not a school assignment. You should always include what is best for you. If you feel that this shows your strength of character (it does), if it makes you stand out from the typical weak-willed applicant who collapses at the first sign of trouble (it does), and shows you are more likely to be able to survive the vicissitudes of vet school (it does) then you certainly should list it.

What you put in your personal statement is what you think makes you special. That is some pretty good fortitude you have there. IMO, that is a lot more interesting to an adcom than reading about someone's shadowing experience for the 1000th time. Should it be the whole thing? Of course not, but it can be an item of emphasis.

What it takes to make someone a successful vet is going to vary from person to person and there is no formula to answer the question. What catches the adcoms committee is even more nebulous. I say go with something that makes you stand out (in a good way). Just make sure it leaves a positive impression and answers the overall question.

Thank you for the nod on fortitude. You basically expressed what I was trying to say in better words. I think I may include as it as a brief summation point in my personal statement, making sure to spin it in the correct way to show those qualities about myself. Also, as twelvetigers said, I may include it in a supplemental if it warrants itself to the question.

Thanks for everyone's input!

 

[TwoBTsandaHawg]

I am going to also get on board with the idea that if you feel it strengthens your character, I say use it.

Definitely condense it, but (as I have helped my own friends do successfully in the past), sometimes you gotta use a little spit to shine up the what (at first) appears a little murky.

I personally think that overcoming difficult obstacles in one's own life both successfully and with a more positive outlook on one's own future is great! Not only did you learn where you didn't want to end up, but you also strengthened your drive to achieve your goals/dreams. Obviously, your GPA and GRE stats say it all.

So, I would say that even in adverse circumstances, you are still capable of excelling at whatever you've set your mind too. This is a great trait to have when heading off to something as strenuous as vet school. 😉

 

[Pomona2006]

While I could reply along with everyone else in this thread has so far, I will risk doing something a little different and suggest that you ask yourself why you're still with your boyfriend. Is he helping you through rough times or is he the source of rough times? While I am definitely not one to insert myself into other people's personal lives, and though I don't even know you, I have a feeling you can do better! I was with someone for a long time that was the source of a lot of stress and hardship, but now that I'm free from him, my life is going a lot more smoothly!

Remember that vet school is going to be difficult -- it can test even the strongest relationship or marriage -- and if you want to have the best chance of success you will want to have a great support network! While it sounds like your boyfriend may have good intentions for recovery, he's still got a long way to go and won't be able to support you while he's still trying to sort through his own personal issues.

With that said, I personally would suggest not mentioning anything related to him in your personal statement or explanation statement. The admissions committee may view the entire situation critically and question your judgment and maturity. You may mention a personal hardship, but avoid details (boyfriend, alcoholism, jail, court date, etc. are all words that I would avoid including on your application.).

I realize that my opinion and take on this situation may be unique, and I apologize in advance for any ruffled feathers.

 

[nitheninny]

With that said, I personally would suggest not mentioning anything related to him in your personal statement or explanation statement. The admissions committee may view the entire situation critically and question your judgment and maturity. You may mention a personal hardship, but avoid details (boyfriend, alcoholism, jail, court date, etc. are all words that I would avoid including on your application.).

I personally agree with this. I think there is a way to talk about the fact that you have dealt with a difficult situation without going into detail on what it is. Just mentioning a difficult personal ordeal with someone you love can be enough. IMHO, there's a fine line between just enough and way too much, and you don't want to cross it.

 

[quantized]

It sounds like a good answer to one of those stupid behavioral interview questions...."When have you had to overcome an obstacle" or whatever.

It would be hard to make a personal statement about that I think and make it concise, relevant, and positive. I have a hard time seeing how to make that work in your situation, but then again my intro was about something absurdly non vet related, so it could be done I guess.

 

[dgm]

I'm with Pomona2006 on this.

 

[StartingoverVet]

I will risk doing something a little different and suggest that you ask yourself why you're still with your boyfriend. Is he helping you through rough times or is he the source of rough times? While I am definitely not one to insert myself into other people's personal lives, and though I don't even know you, I have a feeling you can do better! I was with someone for a long time that was the source of a lot of stress and hardship, but now that I'm free from him, my life is going a lot more smoothly!

Remember that vet school is going to be difficult -- it can test even the strongest relationship or marriage -- and if you want to have the best chance of success you will want to have a great support network! While it sounds like your boyfriend may have good intentions for recovery, he's still got a long way to go and won't be able to support you while he's still trying to sort through his own personal issues.

and I apologize in advance for any ruffled feathers.

Yeah good luck with that advice.

Haven't come across a lot of people in life who dump the people they love because it is inconvenient.

In fact, if that story was slightly changed to say it was a dog with psychological problems, I hardly think you would give the same advice to abandon the dog. Compassion for animals we love, compassion for people we love, it is rarely the object of cold hard reasoning.

Easy advice to give from the outside, not so sure it is even good advice, but I am sure it will fall on death ears. And probably rightly so.

 

[sumstorm]

Easy advice to give from the outside, not so sure it is even good advice, but I am sure it will fall on death ears. And probably rightly so.

It's a relevant question, one that may be asked of the OP, especially if they include it in the PS or explanation statement. The entire point of applicaitons (rather than a GPA/test in system) is to evaluate the candidate and the best prediction of the future performance of an individual is the past performance. It was entirely fair for vet schools to ask 'why the lower GPA' in my situation, and it was very fair for them to say decline to offer admissions if I had said 'oh, I worked 40+ hours a week becuase I couldn't afford school, and I will have to do the same thing in vet school.' They ARE evaluating how well I can balance my life to enable success in vet school. If you had a senior dog die, and you withdrew from school for a semester because of it, and mention that your other dog is currently getting chemotherapy for B cell lymphoma, schools have every reason to say 'gee, there is a risk this student will have to withdraw if something happens to this dog' expecially if the applicant isn't emphasizing how the situation is repaired, remedied, avoided, or changed in the future. Don't bring up negatives unless you can clearly illustrate how this time will be different. The OP will need to be able to illustrate not only that she developed because of this, but in doing so, the next time it happens won't imact her performance.

 

[StartingoverVet]

It's a relevant question, one that may be asked of the OP, especially if they include it in the PS or explanation statement. The entire point of applicaitons (rather than a GPA/test in system) is to evaluate the candidate and the best prediction of the future performance of an individual is the past performance. It was entirely fair for vet schools to ask 'why the lower GPA' in my situation, and it was very fair for them to say decline to offer admissions if I had said 'oh, I worked 40+ hours a week becuase I couldn't afford school, and I will have to do the same thing in vet school.' They ARE evaluating how well I can balance my life to enable success in vet school. If you had a senior dog die, and you withdrew from school for a semester because of it, and mention that your other dog is currently getting chemotherapy for B cell lymphoma, schools have every reason to say 'gee, there is a risk this student will have to withdraw if something happens to this dog' expecially if the applicant isn't emphasizing how the situation is repaired, remedied, avoided, or changed in the future. Don't bring up negatives unless you can clearly illustrate how this time will be different. The OP will need to be able to illustrate not only that she developed because of this, but in doing so, the next time it happens won't imact her performance.

Sunstorm, I'm not sure we are discussing the same thing at this point. I completely agree with you on the subject, and I feel OP has pointed out earlier how they intend to show how this was a "victory" for them; maintained grades, re-dedicated to vet med, etc, so if a similar situation occurred (or this one continues) she could handle it.

I was questioning the advice to dropkick the boyfriend just because he's no good or she could "do better," or he would be a distraction. I just don't think that is advice that is going to be well-received or in this case even appropriate. A very different question from what to do about him on the application I think.

 

[sumstorm]

I was questioning the advice to dropkick the boyfriend just because he's no good or she could "do better," or he would be a distraction. I just don't think that is advice that is going to be well-received or in this case even appropriate. A very different question from what to do about him on the application I think.

It may not be well received, but if anyone shares that info on a forum like this, they are going to get advice they don't like. It isn't unreasonable advice. And there will be adcoms who read anything about this situation on an application, and think the same thing, and it will bring the applicants judgement into question for that ad com. If the applicant isn't comfortable hearing someone say it bluntly, they need to at least realize that ad coms are people too, and they may face the same judgement.

Some people focus on the solutions, some focus on the causes. If you cripple yourself doing something foolish, then recover, many folks will have less sympathy than if you are crippled by something beyond your control (ie if you are hurt drunk driving vs being hit by a drunk driver.) Just a reality. better to hear the other perspective along with the 'go for it' cheering.

Personally, Iwouldn't chance it unless there is nothing else amazing to focus on. But, my opinion is worth what it cost.

 

[StartingoverVet]

my opinion is worth what it cost.

 

[168135]

I'm wondering if I should bring up my roomates from hell last year. It affected my health, which in turn, affected my grades. I tried a number of different ways to make things work out... I figured out how to cope with it in the end.

Is that too petty?

Quite a few people heard about or experienced first hand how stressed out I was and all but one agreed that what I was going through was BAD.

It wasn't petty little things like a roomate saying something about me behind my back and me getting mad at them. There was screaming, threats made, drugs, partying, knowing that I had to get up at 8am to go to class or work and throwing a party until 2, 3, and 4am. I got worn out, spent all second semester in bed in pain, and they still wouldn't give me a break and let me get some rest.

 

[sunnex3]

I'm wondering if I should bring up my roomates from hell last year. It affected my health, which in turn, affected my grades. I tried a number of different ways to make things work out... I figured out how to cope with it in the end.

Is that too petty?

Quite a few people heard about or experienced first hand how stressed out I was and all but one agreed that what I was going through was BAD.

It wasn't petty little things like a roomate saying something about me behind my back and me getting mad at them. There was screaming, threats made, drugs, partying, knowing that I had to get up at 8am to go to class or work and throwing a party until 2, 3, and 4am. I got worn out, spent all second semester in bed in pain, and they still wouldn't give me a break and let me get some rest.

i'd like to hear people's opinions about this as well, as i'm in a semi-similar situation...

 

[teatime]

Hey everyone,

I haven't been on SDN in like a week, so I just realized that more people had replied to this thread.

startingovervet - thank you for saying what you did about the advice for me to dump the boyfriend. that's why I prefaced my post by saying I would only appreciate positive comments, as in, don't tell me that I can do better or I should leave him. I've had enough of this kind of pressure from other people.

The entire time we've been together he's been the most positive, supportive, reassuring, wonderful man I've ever met. Even from jail, he continues to tell me how important it is to focus on myself and getting into vet school. I have no qualms that this is the person I'm going to spend my life with. He's even willing to relocate to wherever I get in to be with me. This is the first time I'm dealing with a relapse (and my last), and I've done my best to keep my spirits up about the whole thing. I agree that I'm not going to just shove someone out of my life because they've made a mistake and hit a low in their life. I know that he wouldn't do that to me.

I would hope that vet schools wouldn't think that this would be a negative in terms of my judgment. Who I choose to love shouldn't have any bearing on how I conduct myself school-wise or professionally. But I can see how sometimes it's unavoidable - like I said, guilty by association.

I will have to think more about how to approach this. Maybe it will be best done in generalities vs. specifics...

 

[JustCats]

Good call; don't mention it either in your PS or the interview. It's nice that friends on the forum can be supportive; adcoms won't be. While some may see it as proof that you have overcome adversity, others will judge you negatively--the same reactions you've found amongst your own acquaintances. You may not appreciate Pomona's advice but she's only telling you now what some adcoms would think, whether or not it's her own opinion.

Good luck!

Yeah, I figured if its not affecting my performance negatively I shouldn't mention it. But at the same time I want to show how adaptable and well I perform even with stressful circumstances.

 

[marycatherine]

a) for the OP, I'd consider calling your boyfriend "a friend" if you were explaining it to adcoms. for some reason people having friends going through tough times seems so much more acceptable than a boyfriend? (in terms of your own judgment.)

b) as for roommate situations, I'm planning on lumping friends/living/everything concerns into one concise statement as to something explaining how for a year I was in the wrong environment and surrounded by the wrong people? or something like that.

 

[BlacKAT33]

a) for the OP, I'd consider calling your boyfriend "a friend" if you were explaining it to adcoms. for some reason people having friends going through tough times seems so much more acceptable than a boyfriend? (in terms of your own judgment.)

b) as for roommate situations, I'm planning on lumping friends/living/everything concerns into one concise statement as to something explaining how for a year I was in the wrong environment and surrounded by the wrong people? or something like that.

I would also recommend calling him a friend instead of your bf.

marycatherine...just wanted to repeat that unless your grades actually show major problems i dont think its worth mentioning drama that most likely every college kid had. my stats werent that great either and i left everything out, even deaths. But especially the roomie drama, it just sounds a little whiny IMO because if you talk to any college student they basically all had roommate trouble at some point that effected them.

 

[sumstorm]

I would hope that vet schools wouldn't think that this would be a negative in terms of my judgment. Who I choose to love shouldn't have any bearing on how I conduct myself school-wise or professionally. But I can see how sometimes it's unavoidable - like I said, guilty by association.

I will have to think more about how to approach this. Maybe it will be best done in generalities vs. specifics...

If who you choose to love doesn't affect who you are, your education, etc, why even bring it up? Can't really do it both ways; can't say it doesn't have an affect and they say 'but look at how well I handled it.' If it didn't have an affect, you wouldn't be writing about it on here or for vet schools. The difference is that vet schools, unlike us, have a vested interest in how much of an affect it will have on you in the future.

 

[marycatherine]

I would also recommend calling him a friend instead of your bf.

marycatherine...just wanted to repeat that unless your grades actually show major problems i dont think its worth mentioning drama that most likely every college kid had. my stats werent that great either and i left everything out, even deaths. But especially the roomie drama, it just sounds a little whiny IMO because if you talk to any college student they basically all had roommate trouble at some point that effected them.

I agree that the roomie drama sounds whiny and to be honest isn't the real issue in my case... my cumulative GPA is about a 3.0, though I double-majored in english/spanish. if my pre-reqs and last 45 end up very high I don't think I will mention anything, as I go to a really difficult school and can explain the 3.0 if asked in an interview? (the ultimate reasoning was not enough motivation and depression, if I'm being honest)

 

[BlacKAT33]

I agree that the roomie drama sounds whiny and to be honest isn't the real issue in my case... my cumulative GPA is about a 3.0, though I double-majored in english/spanish. if my pre-reqs and last 45 end up very high I don't think I will mention anything, as I go to a really difficult school and can explain the 3.0 if asked in an interview? (the ultimate reasoning was not enough motivation and depression, if I'm being honest)

yea i was asked in an interview to defend my stats 😀 i did feel better talking about it in person than on writing. i felt like this was a better setting because i already knew they liked me for everything else in my application

 

[ratbandit]

I would never in a million years put roomie or boyfriend drama in anything that a vet school was going to look at...there is a line for TMI and these topics are just waaaaay crossing it IMO. I don't really think there's a way to word it that doesn't sound petty and/or unprofessional. Just my 2 cents.

 

[that redhead]

Although my situation isn't exactly the same, I've been struggling with the same question. Last summer as I began my Orgo II class, I panicked. I didn't know anything, I was lost and I gave up. Straight and simple gave up. I questioned my desire to be a vet if it meant having to go through the remaining three chemistry classes and going far away from my long term boyfriend. As a result, I haven't fulfilled all of my degree requirements and am pushing my graduation back a full year.

In February, I had a wake-up call. I realized that being a veterinarian is all I've ever wanted to be, all I can imagine myself as. I realized that being anything less was a waste of the time I had already spent (working, getting good grades in HS and early undergrad) AND that I wouldn't ever be happy doing anything else. I decided I would do whatever it takes to get there, even if it means applying more than once or having to go to the Carribean. I've coped with the idea of having a long-distance relationship, as well, and my boyfriend is super-supportive, so all's good on the "home" front, so to speak. I've worked so hard this semester and (if all continues as it has) I'll be getting A's in my two (tough) courses. The summer holds Orgo I and Orgo II, and Gen. Chem II and Biochem are on my horizon. But I know I can do it, dammit.

The question is, after this long and unnecessary story, do I tell the admissions commitees that I had this lapse of confidence? Part of me is scared to tell them, even if it justifies the slip in my grades, because I feel that they'll question whether I've got myself together. On the other hand, I think my years of experience and renewed dedication (last 45 credit hours) will show them that I've become a stronger person because of it. Still haven't decided!

Edit; I realize I didn't answer your question and instead put my own situation out to be commented on. Sorry about that! I would have to agree that if you stats aren't terribly influenced by this drama, I would leave it out. So many people deal with crazy drama (roommates, boyfriends, whatever) that it would seem kind of whiny to me, too. Although good for you for sticking it out in this tough time!

 

[lyndaelyzoo]

I would never in a million years put roomie or boyfriend drama in anything that a vet school was going to look at...there is a line for TMI and these topics are just waaaaay crossing it IMO. I don't really think there's a way to word it that doesn't sound petty and/or unprofessional. Just my 2 cents.

I completely agree!!!! FWIW, effect:noun and affect:verb (most of the time)

 

[UM2014]

The question is, after this long and unnecessary story, do I tell the admissions commitees that I had this lapse of confidence? Part of me is scared to tell them, even if it justifies the slip in my grades, because I feel that they'll question whether I've got myself together. On the other hand, I think my years of experience and renewed dedication (last 45 credit hours) will show them that I've become a stronger person because of it. Still haven't decided!

I talked about my own uncertainty about vet med in my personal statement and in my interview. It was for a different reason (my grades were fine but I was having trouble with a research related ethical dilemma) but it had the same result on my subsequent grades. I'd be happy to PM it to you if you'd like. I got in so apparently it didn't hurt me. I really talked about how I explored other career options (took jobs in several different settings to get a feel for the job) and only because I did that was I certain that vet med was for me. I had always been so one track mind focused on vet med that I had never considered anything else. We have home movies of my parents giving me toy Dr bags for my third birthday so I could 'practice for when you become a vet!'. I think it really helped me grow as a person and remember why I wanted to go to vet school in the first place by seeing what else was out there in terms of careers. Like anything else it's all about how you spin it in your PS. It can work for you or against you!