Personal Statement advice needed!

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tommyVoltage

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  1. Pre-Pharmacy
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Background story: I have a low GPA. It is something like a 2.71. But I have a BS in Biological Chemistry and my prereq GPA is anywhere from a 3.2-3.5 depending on what each school requires. I am taking the PCAT on Friday and have confidence I will be scoring 85%+ because I got a perfect on two of the three official practice tests.

Now I need to write a personal statement. I want to concentrate on how my life experience ruined my GPA. I played in a touring band during my final years of undergraduate. I would go to California, Canada, and a few other states for extended weekends to weeks during the middle of the semester. I was 19-21 years old, so that is what I wanted to do. I have or had a stuttering problem (I guess I still have it, but more on that soon). So when class sizes got small I would just stay under the radar. I would not ask questions, I would not talk to people in my classes. This is shown in my transcript if you really look. Big classes (like the prereq classes) I did good in, but small class I did terrible in. I was embarrassed of this because again I was 20 years old and image was a big deal. I don't know why. But I have been working in pharmaceutical research now for almost a year at Johnson & Johnson. I take speech therapy that has virtually eliminated any stutter because I am dealing with biologist and chemists from all over the world every minute of the day (Belgium, Italy, Spain, China, California, New Jersey, everywhere). The position I have requires all senior scientists to communicate with me. And I think my PCAT score will show that I know more than is reflected from growing up and working hard. Oh and I am 24 years old now.

I don't want to write about the band because I think that gives a bad image of partying, tattoos, and a lot of rum. But I don't know how to say something about the stuttering without whining for sympathy. What do I do?
 
Background story: I have a low GPA. It is something like a 2.71. But I have a BS in Biological Chemistry and my prereq GPA is anywhere from a 3.2-3.5 depending on what each school requires. I am taking the PCAT on Friday and have confidence I will be scoring 85%+ because I got a perfect on two of the three official practice tests.

Now I need to write a personal statement. I want to concentrate on how my life experience ruined my GPA. I played in a touring band during my final years of undergraduate. I would go to California, Canada, and a few other states for extended weekends to weeks during the middle of the semester. I was 19-21 years old, so that is what I wanted to do. I have or had a stuttering problem (I guess I still have it, but more on that soon). So when class sizes got small I would just stay under the radar. I would not ask questions, I would not talk to people in my classes. This is shown in my transcript if you really look. Big classes (like the prereq classes) I did good in, but small class I did terrible in. I was embarrassed of this because again I was 20 years old and image was a big deal. I don't know why. But I have been working in pharmaceutical research now for almost a year at Johnson & Johnson. I take speech therapy that has virtually eliminated any stutter because I am dealing with biologist and chemists from all over the world every minute of the day (Belgium, Italy, Spain, China, California, New Jersey, everywhere). The position I have requires all senior scientists to communicate with me. And I think my PCAT score will show that I know more than is reflected from growing up and working hard. Oh and I am 24 years old now.

I don't want to write about the band because I think that gives a bad image of partying, tattoos, and a lot of rum. But I don't know how to say something about the stuttering without whining for sympathy. What do I do?

I do not think you will be whining for sympathy. In fact, I think you said it pretty well, you had a real challenge due to a speech impediment, but you overcame it, you understand the importance of being able to communicate, and it's important to you because of your past experiences in small classes. You have made demonstrable progress, by leaps and bounds. It is unique to you and you should write about it with thoughtfulness and insight; if you do, I think it'll be a strong statement. My two cents.
 
Background story: I have a low GPA. It is something like a 2.71. But I have a BS in Biological Chemistry and my prereq GPA is anywhere from a 3.2-3.5 depending on what each school requires. I am taking the PCAT on Friday and have confidence I will be scoring 85%+ because I got a perfect on two of the three official practice tests.

Now I need to write a personal statement. I want to concentrate on how my life experience ruined my GPA. I played in a touring band during my final years of undergraduate. I would go to California, Canada, and a few other states for extended weekends to weeks during the middle of the semester. I was 19-21 years old, so that is what I wanted to do. I have or had a stuttering problem (I guess I still have it, but more on that soon). So when class sizes got small I would just stay under the radar. I would not ask questions, I would not talk to people in my classes. This is shown in my transcript if you really look. Big classes (like the prereq classes) I did good in, but small class I did terrible in. I was embarrassed of this because again I was 20 years old and image was a big deal. I don't know why. But I have been working in pharmaceutical research now for almost a year at Johnson & Johnson. I take speech therapy that has virtually eliminated any stutter because I am dealing with biologist and chemists from all over the world every minute of the day (Belgium, Italy, Spain, China, California, New Jersey, everywhere). The position I have requires all senior scientists to communicate with me. And I think my PCAT score will show that I know more than is reflected from growing up and working hard. Oh and I am 24 years old now.

I don't want to write about the band because I think that gives a bad image of partying, tattoos, and a lot of rum. But I don't know how to say something about the stuttering without whining for sympathy. What do I do?

I wouldn't mention anything of that sort in your personal statement. In my opinion, a personal statement should stick strictly to the guidelines. Why Pharmacy? What are your short/long term goals? How will PharmD help you achieve those goals? Explain using personal, professional, academic experiences. What i'm trying to say is, I would only write positive things. Not even mention poor academic performance in the past. Once you get to your supplemental apps, you will be able to provide additional information to the adcoms. That is where you should begin to reflect on your personal development.
 
I wouldn't mention anything of that sort in your personal statement. In my opinion, a personal statement should stick strictly to the guidelines. Why Pharmacy? What are your short/long term goals? How will PharmD help you achieve those goals? Explain using personal, professional, academic experiences. What i'm trying to say is, I would only write positive things. Not even mention poor academic performance in the past. Once you get to your supplemental apps, you will be able to provide additional information to the adcoms. That is where you should begin to reflect on your personal development.

Good point, if you can't incorporate it into the prompt, save it for supplemental essays or the interview.
 
I wouldn't mention anything of that sort in your personal statement. In my opinion, a personal statement should stick strictly to the guidelines. Why Pharmacy? What are your short/long term goals? How will PharmD help you achieve those goals? Explain using personal, professional, academic experiences. What i'm trying to say is, I would only write positive things. Not even mention poor academic performance in the past. Once you get to your supplemental apps, you will be able to provide additional information to the adcoms. That is where you should begin to reflect on your personal development.


I agree. I think it is an important thing to let ADCOM's know but PharmCAS has a "Life Circumstances" area which I think would be a great spot to mention these things. I had a health condition that lead me to lower grades and withdraws. In my life circumstances I talked about that time in my life briefly but brought up my; upward trend in GPA, my passion for pharmacy by shadowing pharmacists and working as a technician for 3 years, etc. etc. At the end I specifically stated that although I had a rough patch I moved out of it and feel I have redeemed myself and am ready for pharmacy school. Good luck!!:luck:

Also I find your speech impedement issue valid and by showing that you have worked on and resolved that issue in an assortment of ways and talking about your research experience for the past year and your communication skills with these different biologists/chemists shows that you have moved passed your issues and are ready for the next step....
 
Ditto. These should not be the main point of your personal statement. Stick with why pharmacist, your background and what you did to learn more about pharmacy. I don't think there is any harm in writing a sentence or two about it though. Good luck!
 
I wouldn't mention anything of that sort in your personal statement. In my opinion, a personal statement should stick strictly to the guidelines. Why Pharmacy? What are your short/long term goals? How will PharmD help you achieve those goals? Explain using personal, professional, academic experiences. What i'm trying to say is, I would only write positive things. Not even mention poor academic performance in the past. Once you get to your supplemental apps, you will be able to provide additional information to the adcoms. That is where you should begin to reflect on your personal development.

Yawn.

OP - Your background portrays something unique and vindictive both personally and professionally. I can think of a few ways to portray how your past has led you to this profession, and how it furthers your goals. It's not an easy essay, but following the above advice will make your essay stick out like sheep in a pasture.
 
Yawn.

OP - Your background portrays something unique and vindictive both personally and professionally. I can think of a few ways to portray how your past has led you to this profession, and how it furthers your goals. It's not an easy essay, but following the above advice will make your essay stick out like sheep in a pasture.

I am inclined to agree. My personal statement was not the cookie-cutter "why pharmacy" response. They are going to read hundreds of the same boring essays. So to the OP, I would make a really earnest effort to incorporate the rich experiences of your life.

P.S. Vindictive is not the right word.
 
I am inclined to agree. My personal statement was not the cookie-cutter "why pharmacy" response. They are going to read hundreds of the same boring essays. So to the OP, I would make a really earnest effort to incorporate the rich experiences of your life.

P.S. Vindictive is not the right word.

For some reason the idea of having something to blame for one's poor academic performance rather unsettling. In my personal statement any shortcomings were a problem of my own making. It seemed to work since on my very first interview my interviewer flat out told me that not many people would be willing to flat out say that they f'd up and that its a clear sign of maturity.
 
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For some reason the idea of having something to blame for one's poor academic performance rather unsettling. In my personal statement any shortcomings were a problem of my own making. It seemed to work since on my very first interview my interviewer flat out told me that not many people would be willing to flat out say that they f'd up and that its a clear sign of maturity.


It's not something to "blame". These situations are true hurdles a person has to overcome to reach their goals. Many people experience hurdles, problems, etc. on their way to pursue a dream and many of those people give up that dream because they can't handle the challenging times. I say it's inspirational and shows character when a person can overcome obstacles in their lives, learn from them and prosper from the experience.
 
It's not something to "blame". These situations are true hurdles a person has to overcome to reach their goals. Many people experience hurdles, problems, etc. on their way to pursue a dream and many of those people give up that dream because they can't handle the challenging times. I say it's inspirational and shows character when a person can overcome obstacles in their lives, learn from them and prosper from the experience.

to me it seems like something to blame if he uses speech impediment and touring. in reality what i see is reckless behavior, poor judgement, and immaturity. in my opinion, admitting to fault is a much clearer sign of personal development rather than having a specific life event to attribute past performance. in this case the biggest hurdle to get over is his own self. that seems way more powerful than "i don't know why i was so embarrassed about it but i took some class so now i'm okay."
 
A speech impediment shows "reckless behavior, poor judgement, and immaturity"?? That's awfully harsh..
 
to me it seems like something to blame if he uses speech impediment and touring. in reality what i see is reckless behavior, poor judgement, and immaturity. in my opinion, admitting to fault is a much clearer sign of personal development rather than having a specific life event to attribute past performance. in this case the biggest hurdle to get over is his own self. that seems way more powerful than "i don't know why i was so embarrassed about it but i took some class so now i'm okay."

It's easy to just say "It's my fault" and to be honest I don't see anywhere him clearly saying "none of this is my fault". Also in retrospect almost everything that happens to you is a direct consequence of yourself.

What I am trying to point out (not for just the OP) is that everyone (except maybe super perfect 4.0 GPA people😉) experience hurdles in their lives. It is what they choose to do with those hurdles/obstacles.....
 
A speech impediment shows "reckless behavior, poor judgement, and immaturity"?? That's awfully harsh..

going around touring rather than paying more attention to school = reckless behavior, poor judgement

being worried about self image and choosing not to take care of a serious issue = immaturity
 
It's not something to "blame". These situations are true hurdles a person has to overcome to reach their goals. Many people experience hurdles, problems, etc. on their way to pursue a dream and many of those people give up that dream because they can't handle the challenging times. I say it's inspirational and shows character when a person can overcome obstacles in their lives, learn from them and prosper from the experience.

I don't think it is something to blame either. I was going to show how I did not accept it and struggled, but overcame one challenge to be able to challenge myself in pharmaceutical research.
 
I don't think it is something to blame either. I was going to show how I did not accept it and struggled, but overcame one challenge to be able to challenge myself in pharmaceutical research.

if you flip it like that then its okay but you can see where it can easily turn into something that states that its not your fault.

"I was going to show how I did not accept it and struggled" that is perfect. like i said a few posts prior, the biggest obstacle should be your own self.
 
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