Personal Statement Draft Feedback

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INeedHelp1234

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Hi,

I just finished the first draft of my personal statement, and I wanted some feedback on what parts might need to be revised and if I'm on the right direction with my overall theme. I'm applying for the upcoming cycle by the way, not in the current one. I can share my google doc link or something for anyone willing to help. Thanks!

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I’m happy to read it over if you’d like! I start MS1 in the fall and I work at my college writing center (so I like to edit things, and I’ve read a lot of personal statements!)
 
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Can read for overall theme, not so much for grammar and the likes haha
 
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