My advice to you is... (I was a writting major my first year in my undergrad)... I know a tad bit about writting...
I would stay away from the following:
1) do not tell them you've always wanted to become a dentist... they already know this (its why your applying
)
2) do NOT say things that you feel are what they want to hear (basically, don't assume the readers wants to read something about you).
3) talk about how hard you had to study to keep your grades up and do well on the dat
4) do not talk about accomplishments (don't boast, they can already see those in your application)
Instead, talk more about the following:
1) what kind of person are you? (do you learn from mistakes and try to improve youself based on your life experiences)
2) talk about your life experiences and how each one tought you a new lesson and you hope to combine all your skillsets together and become a great dentist.
3) show them your a social person.
4) HONEST!!!!, you have to be very honest.
The hardest part of the personal essay is the opening paragraph, if it sucks, your whole paper will suck. If you like, I would have no problem proof reading your paper and giving you my comments.... just PM me if interested