Personal Statement HELP???

[Dr Gerrard]

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What should I talk about in my personal statement?

I don't want to talk about my activities, because that is what the AMCAS is for.

I don't really have any life changing experiences, I have been pretty sheltered, with nothing really that interesting..

I have one story about a time I went to India and saw doctors giving preferential treatment to those that were rich while hoards of ailing patients surrounded the doctor asking for treatment. This could lead to an essay about my desire to help the underserved. The problem: nothing I have ever done has been for the underserved. I live in a suburban community (the city isn't really known for having an underserved population) and i go to school in a college town... no opportunities to help them here.

Can I still talk about this story in my PS? If so, how do I get an overall theme from something like this?

If not, what else can I talk about?

 

[Dr Gerrard]

Also, do I talk about things I want to do, or things I have already done?

If I want to do Doctors without Borders, should I talk about this?

 

[adam17]

have you done any volunteering or extracurricular activities? you can look at those and try to incorporate that into your overall theme of helping the underserved.

 

[mathgrl83]

If you truly are interested in helping the medically underserved, then you can definitely use your India experience as a jumping off point in your essay. You just have to make it work for you. Since you were raised in a suburban, sheltered sort of atmosphere, you could talk about how you never realized how sheltered you were until you went to India, and now you have a better appreciation for how lucky you are, and that could lead into your motivation to pay it forward.

If you don't have a lot of other experiences, you should focus on your goals. That said, try to get some more experiences. If you're just starting your PS, I assume you have at least 1 year before your application cycle, so use this time to get involved in volunteering or something to reinforce your goal of helping the underserved. Your PS needs to convey that you don't just say what you want to do, you make it happen. So saying your goals won't mean anything without actions to back them up.

Good luck!

 

[boaz]

As ridiculous as this sounds, I would suggest that you work on the secondary essays before the primary. The secondaries have specific questions/prompts for you to answer. The primary can have you staring at the empty page for a long time having no idea where to start. After finishing up all those secondaries, I realized that the primary would have been MUCH easier to write had I done it after the secondaries.

In short, my advice is to go ahead and look at the secondary prompts of the schools you are interested in, write those essays, save them for later, and then work on your primary. They are unlikely to change.

 

[Mobius1985]

From The Not So Short Introduction to Getting Into Medical School-Exerpt copied from SDN
Version 1.2.2

July 8, 2006
Ryan Aycock
copyright 2005-2006
Creative Commons Deed

3.1.1 The Personal Statement
With so much riding on the personal statement, you should be very careful
in writing and editing it. You should show it to your friends and teachers for
review. You should try rewriting again and again until you have perfected
it.
There are plenty of books available on amazon.com that will give you full
details on writing a personal statement. Like the MCAT books, you are on
your own to purchase one.5 Here are a few of my suggestions about outlining
the essay:
1. Begin with a brief story of how you got attracted to medicine
2. Give a short overview of your view of the medical profession
3. Tell the audience what you have done to prepare for medical school
4. Tell what are you hoping to get out of becoming a doctor
5. Close with a paragraph that relates all of your accomplishments to your
first story
Some other things to keep in mind:
• Use verbs, not descriptions of feeling—e.g., "I love working with others,"
versus, "I lived in a homeless shelter for a month to get a feel
for the difficulties that the poor face every day in accessing life's basic
necessities such as healthcare, food, and clothing."
• Your sentences with the most impact should be very short.
• Don't say, "I want to help people." The phrase is trite and overused.
It's immature—If you write it, admissions committees will assume that
you have not fully thought out why you want to become a physician.
Become a social worker if you only want to help people.
• Show some maturity about what doctors do. Don't write, "I plan to
run from one hospital room to another saving lives."
• Be honest in why you like medicine. Now is not the time to bemoan the
fact that many Americans are uninsured and that your only solution is
to become a socialist and give free healthcare to everyone.
• Don't apologize for low grades or lack of experience. The personal
statement is for you to build yourself up. Believe me, you will have
plenty of opportunities to explain your low grades later.
5You can read some suggestions from Essay Edge at
www.collegejournal.com/aidadmissions/gradschooladvice/ee index.html.
The Application Process 30
• Stay away from controversial topics such as religion or abortion. First,
you don't want to say that you're a fundamentalist Christian only to
have your reader be a staunch atheist. You put him in a bad position
by forcing him to make a decision on your personal religious beliefs,
rather than your ability to become a doctor.

Example Personal Statement
The best way to learn how to write a personal statement is by example.
Several of the books for sale online have real essays written by past medical
students. Below is my own personal statement:
I was a junior in a Memphis, Tennessee, high school when I started developing
chest pains. Thinking the cause to be heartburn, I went to a physician's
office in the nearby city of Bartlett. When I told the doctor I had
severe heartburn, he immediately responded with a high-priced prescription
to Prilosec.
Weeks went by and still the pain lingered. More doctors, more expensive
drugs, still no results. Eventually I went to MIDTOWN Memphis, certainly
not the poorest district of town, but not the nicest, either. When I told Dr.
Michael I was suffering from chest pain, he did something no one else had
tried—he started asking questions. He asked me about school and about my
family life. After a while he informed me that my problems were not due
to acid reflux disease, but anxiety. He stepped out for a few minutes only
to return with a paper bag—not for breathing, but one filled with numerous
sample packets of the drug Buspar. He said, "I don't want you to pay for
something unless we know it works." After this meeting I realized I wanted to
be just like him. I had always entertained the idea of becoming a doctor, but
like most childhood attractions, my interest with medicine came and went as
the years passed. However, I now want nothing more than to be a physician;
and my short life and experiences prepared me for the challenges ahead.
I arrived at college wanting to major in physics because its equations describe
an order to the world. Though the subject does a great job of answering
"how?" it cannot give us "why?" Therefore, during my junior year I decided
to take on a double major in religion to gain a deeper understanding of people
and their faith as an important component of their lives. The two fields
strikingly resemble modern health care: while pharmaceutical medicines can
provide a mild push in the right direction, a patient's positive attitude is a
The Application Process 31
full leap towards recovery. My religious studies have made me realize that
people need a personal touch as a component of the healing process.
To get a sense of that touch, I have volunteered at my county's crisis
center as a suicide counselor for the past year. During training I learned that
the most important part of therapy is listening to my client, rather than
supplying advice or giving orders. I now know that I simply need to confirm
a patient's fears and redirect the energy to more productive actions. I have
received no greater feeling than when talking to a client who has called 1-
800-SUICIDE and having him/her realize that his/her life is worth living one
more day. In a way, I've been giving emotional CPR on a weekly basis.
While I have high hopes for a positive impact as a physician, I do not
live in a fantasy world. I know of the potential disappointments and set
backs which lie ahead and I've experienced a few of them already. Two of
my patients died in the same day when I worked in the Intensive Care Unit
at Shands Hospital; I had a frequent caller of the Crisis Center incarcerated
under The Baker Act because I knew he was serious about killing himself
when my words failed; and I have had my fair share of Alzheimer's patients
yell at me for no reason other than their irrational, yet very real fear. I also
realize there are many changes that lie ahead in the way treatment is given.
Socialized healthcare, HMO's, and malpractice litigation have caused many
doctors to leave the profession and even make potential physicians question
ever joining. Despite these challenges transformations, I am still eager to
practice medicine.
To see first hand how the system functions, I worked nearly a thousand
hours as a certified nursing assistant over the course of two summers. I
learned how to run an I.V., draw blood, and insert tubes into every opening
of the body. Though I've worked in nearly every department in the hospital,
my favorite place has been the Emergency Room. The teamwork and fastpaced
action have convinced me to practice emergency medicine. Although
I am convinced that I should work in the human side of health care, I have
also enjoyed research.
Medicine is a unique profession in which the practitioner is both a scientist
and humanitarian. In the same way, I have tried to lead a balanced
life among both fields. My current research involves looking at glass and
air composites called aerogels. By doping these highly porous solids with
growth media, I'm hoping that others can better grow cell cultures. I work
on a research team which combines my unique background in physics and
biological sciences to examine the potentially dangerous effects of nanotechThe
Application Process 32
nology. Already my work with aerogels has earned some recognition: I won
my school's Engineering Fair by making a fluorescent aerogel fountain and
was featured on the College of Engineering highlight video. My research will
hopefully continue after graduation. This exciting field will produce results
which can promote industrial advancement and enhance the quality of the
environment.
Whether in the classroom, the lab, or the clinical setting, I have had many
extraordinary experiences over the past five years. I hope that these skills
will make me a better medical student and hopefully even better doctor. I
think that Dr. Michael would be proud.
List of Commonly Misspelled Words
As much as I would like to think that the future doctors of America are
great communicators, I've come to realize that people still make careless
mistakes when spelling common words. Below is a list of the most frequently
misspelled words that I often come across on personal statements, essays,
and emails. Don't think that your word processor's spell checker is going to
catch every mistake that you make. You still need to check your own work to
make sure that you correctly used the words "their," "there," and "they're."
accept To take ownership. Contrast with "except."
affect A verb: to cause or bring about. Contrast with "effect."
a lot Two words.
definite There is no letter ‘a' in definite.
effect A noun that denotes a result. Contrast with "affect."
except An exclusion. Contrast with "accept."
fulfill Start with one ‘l,' end with two.
independent There is no ‘a' in this word, either.
its Ownership. Example: the dog is wagging its tail.
it's Contraction of "it is."
principal Foremost importance, such as principal investigator.
principle Noun: a rule.
relevant Now we have an ‘a.'
their Plural possessive. Example: I visited my parents at their house.
there Reference to an object or place. Also may lead a sentence.
they're Contraction of "they are."
The Application Process 33
Last Notes on Typing the Personal Statement
Like most people, you will probably want to type your personal statement
in a text processing program like Microsoft Word so that you can save, edit,
and spell-check your response. Unfortunately, since AMCAS is a web form,
many of Word's auto formatted characters such as the quotation marks will
be messed up when you put them in the web form. To correct the special
symbols problem, use the Times New Roman font and then click on the
"Tools" button at the top of the program page. Next, select "AutoCorrect
. . . " and then choose the "AutoFormat As You Type" tab. Go down to the
section entitled "Replace as you type" and unselect everything. Click "Ok"
and your formatting problem is gone. Now you can type your essay in Word
and then copy and paste everything directly into AMCAS.
Keep in mind that AMCAS uses a character count, not a word count.
I know that you were taught in school in always double space after every
sentence, but for the sake of the personal statement, you should use only one
space between sentences. In doing so, you'll save enough room to add more
words.

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[Dr Gerrard]

have you done any volunteering or extracurricular activities? you can look at those and try to incorporate that into your overall theme of helping the underserved.

i unfortunately have not done very much volunteering. that is the weakest part of my application.

i did about 4 hours a week last summer in a department at my local hospital, where all i did was help around the office in any way, running errands, filing papers, just everyday tasks that they needed help in.

i was also part of a club my first two years where we would try to spread awareness of our university's forest, and we would go out and clean trails, make maps, put of signs, etc. i kind of did 4 hours a month of that, basically 3 hours on one day going out into the forest and 1 hour of meeting times.

thats it...

 

[Dr Gerrard]

If you truly are interested in helping the medically underserved, then you can definitely use your India experience as a jumping off point in your essay. You just have to make it work for you. Since you were raised in a suburban, sheltered sort of atmosphere, you could talk about how you never realized how sheltered you were until you went to India, and now you have a better appreciation for how lucky you are, and that could lead into your motivation to pay it forward.

If you don't have a lot of other experiences, you should focus on your goals. That said, try to get some more experiences. If you're just starting your PS, I assume you have at least 1 year before your application cycle, so use this time to get involved in volunteering or something to reinforce your goal of helping the underserved. Your PS needs to convey that you don't just say what you want to do, you make it happen. So saying your goals won't mean anything without actions to back them up.

Good luck!

I think I am going to go with the i never realized how sheltered I was until I went to India approach.

My only worry is would talking about things like this be 1) insulting to the medical profession because these are doctors who were "corrupt" and 2) hypocritical of me since I have not done anything to help here in the states?

I would apply in 2010, for the c/o 2015.

I do not have any opportunities to help the underserved in my current city (i know this may be hard to believe, but lets just say its true) and i am studying abroad in the spring, after which I will come back to the states and apply. Is my concern 2) from above something to worry about?

 

[mathgrl83]

I think I am going to go with the i never realized how sheltered I was until I went to India approach.

My only worry is would talking about things like this be 1) insulting to the medical profession because these are doctors who were "corrupt" and 2) hypocritical of me since I have not done anything to help here in the states?

I would apply in 2010, for the c/o 2015.

I do not have any opportunities to help the underserved in my current city (i know this may be hard to believe, but lets just say its true) and i am studying abroad in the spring, after which I will come back to the states and apply. Is my concern 2) from above something to worry about?

I would steer clear of mentioning that the doctors were corrupt. If you're going to with the "I never realized I was privileged" approach, you are identifying with the patients, not the doctors. This means that you were somehow able to recognize how lucky you were to always have access to medical care, while these people do not. So you are acknowledging the need for doctors in underserved populations, and planning to do what you can to contribute to that. Do you get what I'm saying?

Admissions committees aren't going to expect you to have a ton of experience or have already saved the world - just do what you can. I have a hard time believing that there are NO opportunities for you to get involved with something - doesn't even have to be medically related. Do habitat for humanity or something. Anything to show that you're more than just a rich kid and that you know there's people out there who aren't like you. During your study abroad time would be an excellent opportunity to play off the international thing you already have going for you, so try to find something to do then as well.

 

[DntStopBelievin]

hmm...it sounds like you want to go find a charity case and go help them. it reminds me of when a pre-med person i knew said "im never gonna get into medical school because i've never held a african baby" im sure you see my point. you dont have to help the "underserved" right now but in your ps talk about what you have done, the initiative you have taken. those leadership skills you have from your club actually show that once you get around to it, you will definitely have it in you to go help certain populations.
Helping the environment shows that you want to help the entire planet and preserve it for all people! that in itself is righteous. But if you feel compelled to help someone, then you would have gone and done it. Since you have time before your apps, why not do something for those people in india (and you can write it in your ps). Start a clothing drive, a blanket drive (it gets pretty cold there in dec/january). If you have family in india, ask them to help you out. Ask other student organizations to get involved in your project! Serving the needy is more than giving them medicines (especially at this point since you cant practice yet). Also, if you havent noticed, there are students in desperate need of a tutor so if your pretty smart, please help them out. As long as your helping someone, then they'll still believe you want to eventually help those people.

I hope i have helped. I absolutely understand how you feel about not having anything to write about in your ps (same thing happened to me - i felt like i had nothing to write about). I was also sheltered, until the time came and i realized i had to just step outside the box and do something! So i started doing everything i was interested in doing.