Personal Statement-Include Abusive Relationship Troubles?

[kkmichelle]

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Hello everyone-
I'd appreciate some advice on this.

I'm a nontraditional premed student. I graduated with a music degree, and immediately began classes as a biology major. Though I am not planning to receive a second bachelors degree, I have taken the required courses for med school application as well as several elective biology/chemistry classes.
In the midst of my second year of bio classes, I began dating a guy who turned out to be abusive (not physically, but mentally and verbally.) This obviously put a huge strain on my academics, as he was very controlling and manipulative. My GPA suffered drastically from this. I am currently studying for the MCAT and score is slowly but steadily increasing.

I've been an active volunteer at a local hospital, did undergrad organic chem research with my professor, held several fundraisers benefitting Children's Miracle Network, and participated in Relay for Life, Childhood Apraxia of Speech Walk, and shadowed several doctors in various fields.

My question is whether or not to include any part of the abusive relationship in my personal statement. It was most certainly a factor in my grades, but I understand not wanting to make excuses, nor do I want to focus on the negative.

Thank you for your assistance!

 

[Jamiefrances]

I'm sorry to saw that I can't answer this question, but I'm also curious about this. I'm trying to start writing rough drafts for my personal statement, and I am also wondering if this should be mentioned in my personal statement. Mine was physical, too, though (in addition to pretty much every other form imaginable) and it actually what gave me the final 'push' to decide to try to go to medical school. (I came very close to dying, and decided that I needed to find a way out and try to reach my goals because the experience made me realize how finite life is)

I just worry that mentioning would be awkward or inappropriate.

Good luck with your MCAT and application! I'm happy that you are no longer in that situation.

 

[Isoprop]

Hello everyone-
I'd appreciate some advice on this.

I'm a nontraditional premed student. I graduated with a music degree, and immediately began classes as a biology major. Though I am not planning to receive a second bachelors degree, I have taken the required courses for med school application as well as several elective biology/chemistry classes.
In the midst of my second year of bio classes, I began dating a guy who turned out to be abusive (not physically, but mentally and verbally.) This obviously put a huge strain on my academics, as he was very controlling and manipulative. My GPA suffered drastically from this. I am currently studying for the MCAT and score is slowly but steadily increasing.

I've been an active volunteer at a local hospital, did undergrad organic chem research with my professor, held several fundraisers benefitting Children's Miracle Network, and participated in Relay for Life, Childhood Apraxia of Speech Walk, and shadowed several doctors in various fields.

My question is whether or not to include any part of the abusive relationship in my personal statement. It was most certainly a factor in my grades, but I understand not wanting to make excuses, nor do I want to focus on the negative.

Thank you for your assistance!

Depends on how big of an impact. Did you fail with Ds or Fs? If you did, it may be worth it to explain, briefly, what happened. Be vague and focus on what you learned. If it was Bs and Cs, then perhaps it wouldn't be worth opening that can of worms unless it was over a sustained period of time.

 

[Catalystik]

I would save this disclosure for Secondary essays, unless it had an impact on your decision for going into medicine (which it doesn't seem to). Ideally, the essay would include how you solved the problem and what you learned/why you're stronger/why it won't happen again/how it changed you. And if your grades were negatively impacted, commentary and transcript evidence that you turned things around once the problem was solved should be there as well. This helps turn an adverse event into something that actually helps your application, rather than being "an excuse." Perfect people who never faced a serious problem are not necessarily the type of applicant adcomms are looking for.

 

[NickNaylor]

Hell to the no.

 

[Jamiefrances]

I would save this disclosure for Secondary essays, unless it had an impact on your decision for going into medicine (which it doesn't seem to). Ideally, the essay would include how you solved the problem and what you learned/why you're stronger/why it won't happen again/how it changed you. And if your grades were negatively impacted, commentary and transcript evidence that you turned things around once the problem was solved should be there as well. This helps turn an adverse event into something that actually helps your application, rather than being "an excuse." Perfect people who never faced a serious problem are not necessarily the type of applicant adcomms are looking for.

Hi, sorry for using this ask my own questions again, but since in my situation it did impact my decision and changed my grades, do you think it would be okay to write about in the personal statement? I ended up with three Fs for the semester that it happened it in (I won't go into details, but I'll just say that I never even made it to the school that semester) The School administrators replaced those with Ws for me after I explained the situation, but I tried to immediately return to school, had a few breaks-downs and that unfortunately is reflected in my grades for the first year. I guess I just worry about making people uncomfortable by mentioning what happened. I am trying to prove that I am capable of much more in more recent grades.

 

[startswithb]

Hi, sorry for using this ask my own questions again, but since in my situation it did impact my decision and changed my grades, do you think it would be okay to write about in the personal statement? I ended up with three Fs for the semester that it happened it in (I won't go into details, but I'll just say that I never even made it to the school that semester) The School administrators replaced those with Ws for me after I explained the situation, but I tried to immediately return to school, had a few breaks-downs and that unfortunately is reflected in my grades for the first year. I guess I just worry about making people uncomfortable by mentioning what happened. I am trying to prove that I am capable of much more in more recent grades.

I suggest highlighting ONLY POSITIVES in your personal statement. This is supposed to show you off in your best light. There will be time to explain crappy grades in most secondaries or even in an interview. The personal statement should make them want to meet you, not to feel sorry for you.

 

[Suncrusher]

Hi, sorry for using this ask my own questions again, but since in my situation it did impact my decision and changed my grades, do you think it would be okay to write about in the personal statement? I ended up with three Fs for the semester that it happened it in (I won't go into details, but I'll just say that I never even made it to the school that semester) The School administrators replaced those with Ws for me after I explained the situation, but I tried to immediately return to school, had a few breaks-downs and that unfortunately is reflected in my grades for the first year. I guess I just worry about making people uncomfortable by mentioning what happened. I am trying to prove that I am capable of much more in more recent grades.

I think what Cat said makes perfect sense (saving it for secondary essays since it did not cause you to pursue a career in medicine). Also, LizzyM often recommends having a LOR from a teacher or someone who knows your story personally, and let THEM explain your semester of bad grades on your behalf in their LOR. It sounds much more strong that way. I'm by no means an expert, and I hope I'm not misquoting her, but I think I've seen her give that same advice several times

 

[Catalystik]

in my situation it did impact my decision and changed my grades, do you think it would be okay to write about in the personal statement? I ended up with three Fs for the semester that it happened it in (I won't go into details, but I'll just say that I never even made it to the school that semester) The School administrators replaced those with Ws for me after I explained the situation, but I tried to immediately return to school, had a few breaks-downs and that unfortunately is reflected in my grades for the first year. I guess I just worry about making people uncomfortable by mentioning what happened. I am trying to prove that I am capable of much more in more recent grades.

I suggest highlighting ONLY POSITIVES in your personal statement. This is supposed to show you off in your best light. There will be time to explain crappy grades in most secondaries or even in an interview. The personal statement should make them want to meet you, not to feel sorry for you.

Jamiefrances, in your case, I suggest touching lightly (even vaguely) on the situation in the PS, keeping startswithb's comment in mind. Save the details, if you decide to provide them, for a Secondary.

 

[Bmed]

Don't mention that AT ALL.

 

[Jamiefrances]

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate your input. I didn't want to make anything awkward, or into a 'pity' thing. I've never really discussed that with any of my professors or advisors, so I had no idea.

Thanks!