Personal statement intro help

Started by Dreamer131
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Dreamer131

Full Member
10+ Year Member
Hi all! I am looking for some help with my beginning paragraph of my personal statement. I have the rest of my statement how I want it, however I thought my intro was dull and decided to change it last minute. I was wondering if someone could look at it and give me feedback (flow, grammatical errors, content).

Thank you!!
 
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