Personal statement introduction tips?

[sliceofbread136]

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So I'm finally starting my PS. I'm having alot of trouble making my introduction really engaging. Any tips?

Edit: Seems like alot of personal statements start with a story. Should I consider doing that? If you can't tell I haven't written a non-science paper in awhile...

 

[hiyaman]

Every sample PS I've ever read starts off with an anecdote. When I wrote my PS I used the PS reader feedback heavily from this site as well as this:

http://studentdoctor.net/2007/12/essay-workshop-101-lesson-5-introductions/

There's a variety of intro possibilities from an action/exciting intro to an informative intro. Hope this gives you some ideas about how to start.

 

[thlaxer]

It would be nice if you could think of an engaging story that ties everything in your PS together. It's not necessary though. Imo, if you're a bad writer (like me 🙂), it's better to play it safe and just answer the prompt genuinely instead of trying and failing to hook them in and coming off as being fake. That was true in my experience at least.. my personal statement was much more cohesive after I wrote "from the heart" instead of forcing out a hook and trying to be a storyteller. But then again, you've still got plenty of time to try different stories and see which ones (if any) work best for you. Just my thoughts and good luck!

 

[sliceofbread136]

Thanks for the advice so far guys. I think I'm going to try a story, and see how well it works. This is probably how I'll approach the entire PS, knowing that what I'm writing is probably destined for the trash 😱

 

[nuance]

I would suggest writing the bulk of the essay (i.e. the body paragraphs) before attempting to write an introduction.

Start with an outline of the points you want to get across, then use the outline to write your body paragraphs. It is usually much easier to then go backwards and write your introduction knowing what you have said in the rest of your essay.

For what it's worth, I did not use any stories or crazy hooks in my PS. Nothing against using them, but it's definitely possible to engage a reader without a first sentence about a traumatic personal/clinical experience. Also, using a story may come off as disingenuous and lead to a desultory essay, unless you actually have a significant and meaningful experience that truly influenced you.

 

[Morsetlis]

Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped, turn upside down, and I'd like to take a minute just sit right there...

 

[Morzh]

I struggled with this as well. I don't naturally enjoy creative writing that much and waxing verbose about my emotions and life experiences isn't a strength of mine. I'm more of a technical and matter-of-fact writer. But I struggled through probably a dozen different ideas/drafts of my opening paragraph(s) and solicited a lot of feedback and the end result was something really personal, down-to-earth, and "me".

The link above (Essay workshop 101) has good examples and ideas. What I did is I went through my entire life from my first memory to now and wrote down (on paper, not just in my head) every event that I, in retrospect, decided had a major impact on me. Some things were "big" (death of a relative) and others were more personal (best friend got in car accident, spent week in PICU when I was in 8th grade--first time I really considered 'mortality of man'). A lot of what I wrote down wasn't even tangentially related to medicine. I ended up with about a dozen events that had in one way or another profoundly moved me. Then with each one I thought of how I could tell that story in a way that would emphasize my interest in medicine and highlight the development of character traits that qualify me. Then I decided which story felt best and ran with it.

That got me a couple of strong opening paragraphs. Then I spent several paragraphs on my major ECs (research, volunteer experience, work in hospital, etc.) and returned to the ideas in my intro in my concluding paragraph.

 

[Black Mamba24]

Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped, turn upside down, and I'd like to take a minute just sit right there...

I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air

But seriously, I'm trying to get started on my personal statement and it is pretty hard. I like what Morzh said so I might try that approach.

 

[dmf2682]

I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air

Lol I just thought of that before I saw your post

 

[1TB4RKSB4CK]

Think of something creative and have a few people give their opinions on it.

 

[candav]

My PS actually consisted of three separate stories from experiences I'd had over the past three years that influenced not only my motivation for medicine but also my understanding of what medicine means to me, and to society.

I think there is a tendency towards "summarizing" the application in the PS: "Due to my participation in Activity X, I decided I wanted to be a physician, which is why I went on to Activity Y..." While this may work for some people, my personal opinion is that the PS is less about the objective things that can be found elsewhere in the application, and more about feelings and self-reflection. So, yes, my PS was a bit of a weepy and sentimental mess. And, yes, I do cringe now when I read some parts of it. But I've also heard a lot of great feedback from my interviewers on its "thoughtfulness" and "depth."

 

[MT Headed]

I wrote the middle and end first, and then wrote the introduction last. It's on my MDApps if you want to read it.

Reviewing it a year later, my "hook" sounds incredibly stupid and cliche. But hey, it got me a few interviews!

 

[Supisak]

OP and anyone else that will listen, please don't gloss your ECs in your PS- it is redundant and cliche', tell a compelling story that ties into why you you want to be a doc
If I read another PS about some neurosurgeon that is some applicant's hero after they shadowed them for a week followed by 4 paragraphs about previously stated ECs I may puke

 

[mrowl]

I wrote the middle and end first, and then wrote the introduction last. It's on my MDApps if you want to read it.

Reviewing it a year later, my "hook" sounds incredibly stupid and cliche. But hey, it got me a few interviews!

just saw your MDapps...the fact that you didn't get into more schools scares the pants off of me...

 

[Oxygen206]

the PS is less about the objective things that can be found elsewhere in the application, and more about feelings and self-reflection.

YES! I can not emphasize this enough. I read a lot of resumes in paragraph form personal statements....😴

The best ones that I've read (and still remember) are the ones that incorporated a lot of introspection and self-reflection. I know as science geeks it's hard for us to talk about our feelings, but doing this really makes for the best and most sincere personal statements. There's a fine line though, you don't want to go overboard -- but that can usually be kept in check with having many people read it and give you their impressions.

 

[TheShaker]

just saw your MDapps...the fact that you didn't get into more schools scares the pants off of me...

I'm going to take comfort in the fact that most of them were rural programs and Nevada only likes instate people. I can't imagine any other reason a 42 MCAT will get rejected... 😱

 

[NickNaylor]

I'm going to take comfort in the fact that most of them were rural programs and Nevada only likes instate people. I can't imagine any other reason a 42 MCAT will get rejected... 😱

The MCAT is not the end all be all of medical school admissions.

(sent from my phone - please forgive typos and brevity)

 

[HalfPast6]

There are some really great responses on here. I've been struggling with my personal statement as well and have probably made my 20th revision. I thought it was ok to go until I asked a friend, who happens to be an English major, to give me some suggestions. It turns out that she gave some pretty radical (but valid) comments like

- my ps was not focused enough as I had separate themes of making personal sacrifices for this profession and finding that my artistic endeavors led to me a career in medicine
- my attempts to be humble came off as self-deprecating
- the description of how I persevered circumstances in the past gave a woe-is-me attitude

So I changed the PS completely (last night) to describe myself in a more positive light. I dont think that she wants to take a look at my essay again, so if anyone's interested in giving me some additional comments, please PM me.