Personal Statement Issues

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OTCAS is fast approaching, and I can't help over analyze my personal statement. At first, I thought it sucked. Now, I'm confident it's the worst piece of junk ever written. I've done six ENTIRELY different drafts. I'm not happy with any of them. What I find, is that whenever I send it out to people, I get back critiques that are never positive. Not wholly negative, just never overwhelmingly positive. Rather, I continually editing my final draft, trying to make it OTCAS ready. Though, with each edit, I trim, reword, or delete a small amount of who I am, and replace it with who I feel grad schools want me to be. It's truly disconcerting, evidently convincing myself that I must pretend to be someone else in order to get into grad school.

Anyway, the ONLY thing I'm looking for is that someone else has felt this. I honestly am just reaching out, making sure I'm not completely alone in this thought.
 
I really struggled with my personal statement for a while. So you are not alone. I don't know if you have someone that would be willing to do this for you, but maybe you can send your favorite three drafts or the three drafts you think are the best to someone and ask them to tell you some bits and pieces to take from each one. I'm sure each draft has some little portions that stand out. By taking bits from each essay, you might be able to piece together a personal statement even stronger than that ones you already have. Just something to consider.
 
I think mine came out well, though I spent 9 months in a wheel chair and experienced occupational deprivation first hand, which is how I got into OT. I also handed my draft to OTs to have them review it. They didn't like the first draft, because it focused too much on my wheel chair experience. Getting opinions from OTs should help out a lot. I also recommend reading an intro to OT textbook prior to writing the statement. It helped me clarify what attracted me to OT. I was also able to discuss things using an OT frame of reference. Doing so, I think, will demonstrate that you are knowledgeable about the OT profession.
 
I talked to the admissions people at Samuel Merritt and they told me that in the personal statement, they're looking for the level of articulation you're able to produce in conveying why you want to be an OT. I think as long as your statement is organized and articulate while staying true to yourself (but exaggerate your positive qualities a bit, I'd imagine! cause I mean, this IS the only opportunity where you can give them a hint of what kind of person you are on the app).

They also wanted to know how you'd "contribute to the school as a scholar." When I heard that, I thought they meant possible thesis topics or areas of research I'd be interested in that could bring ~new ideas~ to their school's name. Am I way off, or is this what they meant afterall?
 
They also wanted to know how you'd "contribute to the school as a scholar." When I heard that, I thought they meant possible thesis topics or areas of research I'd be interested in that could bring ~new ideas~ to their school's name. Am I way off, or is this what they meant afterall?

I understand that to have a similar meaning as "how will you contribute to our program" (AKA: Why should they accept you to their program/what puts you "ahead" of other applications)? You could always contact the admissions people again and ask them to clarify what they mean by this since many people may interpret it differently and there could be a broad range of answers.
 
Just to add my thoughts: I think the scholar bit also means that they want you to be able to do research. I'm sure that some schools emphasize research more than others (and likewise with practicum). I'm just guessing at this, though.
 
Correct me if i'm wrong, but doesn't OTCAS say "do not personalize essays for particular degree institutions??" Unless Samuel wants you to write another essay for them as well..
 
Part of the AOTA Centennial Vision involves moving the profession into an evidence based direction. Research therefore, is essential to the profession, and the skills to both consume and produce research are highly valued.

Keep in mind, that you are selling yourself in your personal statement.

To sell something, you need to tell the customer how they will benefit from a product or service, not how the sales person will benefit. The ability to empathize and see things from the customer's point of view is essential to do this. In this case, you want to see things from the perspective of the admissions committee. When you know what it is that they are looking for, and what they want, you need to directly and indirectly show them how you fulfill that need. For example, they need:

People who have a passion for OT, they are not merely choosing it because they didn't get into a PT program, or because they are in it for the money, or because they don't know what they are going to do for the rest of their life. I read a personal statement online once. The author stated that they were interested in OT because their friend suggested it to them, and it seemed like a good profession to get into. It was an honest but superficial statement that didn't communicate enough interest, passion, and understanding of the OT profession, IMO.
Compassionate caretakers with a genuine interest in the OT field, and in helping people (don't specifically say that you want to help people as that is automatically assumed and too cliche).
Students that are genuinely interested/committed to their specific OT program, are a good fit for their program; students that will not change their mind and drop out of their program. (OTCAS statements need to be non-specific, but you should know the focus of the specific program, curriculum, and what makes you a good fit for that program)
People without obligations, emotional instability, or personal issues, as they need the student to focus on the program, which is rigorous
People that can handle the rigor of graduate studies (which is why GPA is emphasized so much).
A high degree of maturity, resilience, intelligence, responsibility, reliability, professionalism, motivation, agreeableness, etc.
Research/quantitative skills if research is emphasized in the program.
Writing skills. This is a chance to show how good you are at writing.

Of course, all of these things should be backed up with evidence (extra curricular activities, personal experiences, what you observed during your OT observation hours, etc). Don't just state "I am passionate about OT." Tell them exactly what it is about OT that you are passionate about. And, you should say things that have not already been said, things that can't be said with a curriculum vitae. You don't want to sound redundant.

Lastly, I think the most important thing is to just speak from the heart. Worry about editing/refining the statement later. And like I said, getting opinions from OTs should help out a lot.
 
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You guys are awesome. There is just so much weight on the personal statement for people with lower GPAs like myself, and everything you guys have said really help jog my gears in writing this. Thank y'all!!
 
Correct me if i'm wrong, but doesn't OTCAS say "do not personalize essays for particular degree institutions??" Unless Samuel wants you to write another essay for them as well..
Yes, but the feedback the OP posted from Samuel Merritt isn't necessarily specific to their institution - their criteria seems pretty consistent with what I'd expect most schools to be looking for; an articulate explanation of why you want to be an OT. They're looking at HOW you write as much as what you're writing about; if you write like a high school freshman, or if your essay content reads like every other essay they've gotten, you aren't going to get very far with a graduate admissions committee, who admits you expecting that you will be able to maintain a superior level of scholarly achievement, much of which is written.

To add, the advice you've gotten here, OP is great - I want to also say that at this point, don't ask half a dozen people to read your essay. Stick with one or two, and choose those two based their own command of the written word; i.e., people who write, or read and critique in their professional life, or who have a degree in a related discipline.
 
Haha, no offense to any of you guys but I won't fall into submission to these schools. I am the customer and they are the businesses taking my tuition. Obviously I am interested in OT or else I wouldn't be here and obviously schools look for the "why" in personal statements because OT is unknown to most people, but that's as far as it goes IMO. I am a leader, not a follower and I won't pretend i'm something i'm not (wanting to do research etc). I'd rather convey my own future interests in OT such as program representation or government affairs, even if they're not popular with some mission statement or professional vision.
 
Don't forget that they are the ones doing the selecting. If they have 400 applicants and only 32 seats to fill, they are going to choose the most qualified candidates that will benefit their program. That doesn't mean that you need to pretend that you are someone that you are not; you have to provide evidence for everything you claim in your personal statement. The admissions committee will be verifying your application and looking for any inconsistencies and exaggeration. Any dishonesty or exaggeration would be an insult to their intelligence and the kiss of death. If for example, you say that you are interested in research, but did nothing in undergrad pertaining to research, and/or show a subsequent lack of knowledge pertaining to their research interests during the interview, it will put the committee off. Be honest.

What I am saying is to take who you are, your knowledge, skills, interests, abilities, etc, and point out what makes you a great candidate for OT and their program, how you will be a benefit to the OT profession and OT programs, why you are a good fit, what made you passionate about OT, etc.

You are ultimately competing against other people for few seats. Competition can be rough, and it is important to gain a concept of how such competition works if you want to succeed.
 
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