Personal Statement proofread

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Lorioj

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I know it's a little late in the game, but I'm trying to get some quick feedback on my personal statement before I e-submit.
Is there anyone that's not too busy and that wouldn't mind giving my P.S. a quick read and providing some criticism?
It doesn't have to be anything profound, just maybe some small grammar or content comments.
I've gone over it and over it, and could use a fresh set of eyes.
Either email or pm are fine.
Thanks in advance.

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