drmasterofnone
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- Nov 16, 2020
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I am a current PGY3 in emergency medicine at a 4-year program and I am miserable.
All the things that I found to be perks of emergency medicine (shift work, procedures, taking care of critically ill patients, diversity of patients & presentations, etc) no longer seem to be appealing (no normal schedule, extreme stress, feeling like a master of none, overly reliant on consultants, etc). I am dreading that in a year and a half that I will be an attending and while I know I can push myself to work as an EP, I know that at most I could force myself to do a couple of years before transitioning out.
As a PGY1, I chalked up my unhappiness as being an intern, working a lot of hours, and being insecure. As a PGY2, I could blame tough off-service rotations and graduated responsibility. Now as a PGY3 with an improved schedule and a better knowledge base, I am confident that the primary problem is that I am unhappy with my career choice. This has been a shameful secret that only my partner and close friends know- I haven't told anyone in my program. In fact, what makes me so hesitant to admit that I no longer love emergency medicine is that I love my co-residents, faculty, and all the opportunities my fancy pants institution offers. I have thought about gateways out of emergency medicine through fellowships, but haven't found the one that quite appeals to me or that can fully allow me to not practice emergency medicine as a way to supplement my income. Going corporate doesn't truly appeal to me either. Surprisingly, I keep coming back to wishing I had pursued radiology instead (which I did rotations for in medical school and really enjoyed), but acknowledge don't often have vacancies and is fairly competitive. I think ultimately I do want to continue being a practicing physician, just not an emergency medicine one.
I am trying to figure out what options are available and looking to solicit advice.
- would I be able to vie for a PGY2 rads spot if a position opens up? (would rather not have to do a prelim year if it is an option)
- should I just suck it up and finish my program first and then reconsider applying (it seems like such a waste to not finish), or are my options better if I start this process as a resident?
- am I just super burned out and being a crazy person?
All the things that I found to be perks of emergency medicine (shift work, procedures, taking care of critically ill patients, diversity of patients & presentations, etc) no longer seem to be appealing (no normal schedule, extreme stress, feeling like a master of none, overly reliant on consultants, etc). I am dreading that in a year and a half that I will be an attending and while I know I can push myself to work as an EP, I know that at most I could force myself to do a couple of years before transitioning out.
As a PGY1, I chalked up my unhappiness as being an intern, working a lot of hours, and being insecure. As a PGY2, I could blame tough off-service rotations and graduated responsibility. Now as a PGY3 with an improved schedule and a better knowledge base, I am confident that the primary problem is that I am unhappy with my career choice. This has been a shameful secret that only my partner and close friends know- I haven't told anyone in my program. In fact, what makes me so hesitant to admit that I no longer love emergency medicine is that I love my co-residents, faculty, and all the opportunities my fancy pants institution offers. I have thought about gateways out of emergency medicine through fellowships, but haven't found the one that quite appeals to me or that can fully allow me to not practice emergency medicine as a way to supplement my income. Going corporate doesn't truly appeal to me either. Surprisingly, I keep coming back to wishing I had pursued radiology instead (which I did rotations for in medical school and really enjoyed), but acknowledge don't often have vacancies and is fairly competitive. I think ultimately I do want to continue being a practicing physician, just not an emergency medicine one.
I am trying to figure out what options are available and looking to solicit advice.
- would I be able to vie for a PGY2 rads spot if a position opens up? (would rather not have to do a prelim year if it is an option)
- should I just suck it up and finish my program first and then reconsider applying (it seems like such a waste to not finish), or are my options better if I start this process as a resident?
- am I just super burned out and being a crazy person?